Business-casual guy: Damn, that bitch was fine!
Business-casual girl: Oh, shut your pimp hole, Jerry.
–A Train
Overheard by: whit
Archive for September, 2012
Marriage Is More Like “Friends Without Benefits”
Katie Couric: So apparently the kids have this new thing called 'friends with benefits.'
–Restaurant, Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Waiter dude
…And End Up in Brookln
Girl #1: God, the 6 train takes so long to come!
Girl #2: I know! Last week the n train took forever because someone tired to commit suicide in front of it.
Girl #1: That's so lame… If i was going to commit suicide, I wouldn't do it on the n train…
–6 Train
Overheard by: lyon
No Man Is an Island, Mate.
Busker, collecting money after singing: Hey, thanks man! Where are you from? China?
Passenger: Australia, mate!
Busker: Australia by way of China?
–6 Train
Overheard by: Emily
XOXO, Bitch
Target employee #1: What's an ox?
Target employee #2: It's a mama dog.
–Target, Atlantic Center
Overheard by: Alison
You Can't Handle the Bronx
Nanny to four-year-old child playing in pretend taxi: So where are you taking me today?
Child: Umm… I don't know yet.
Nanny: Okay, can you take me to the zoo?
Child: Okay, let's go to the Bronx zoo!
Nanny: Okay, let's go to the Central Park zoo instead!
–Appleseeds
Those Who Can't Remember the 1980s Are Doomed to Hear About Them
Mom: The strap on my Swatch watch is broken again.
Daughter: You have two Pateks and a Rolex. Why do you give such a crap about that Swatch watch?
–14th St & Broadway
If You Ignore Jersey, It Goes Away
Waiter, walking halfway upstairs and stopping: Boop. Bee dom ba badoo. (notices two girls at a table nearby) Where are you ladies from?
Confused girl: Jersey.
Waiter: Uh-huh. (walks back downstairs)
–Serendipity 3
Overheard by: confused
A Social Metaphor That's Right on the Money
Large black guy selling candy on subway, to yuppie ignoring him: I don't know why you ain't funding this enterprise… We could be out killing you people instead!
(yuppie quickly starts trying to take his wallet out)
Large black guy, walking away: It's too late! It's too late!
–1 Train
Chili's Is to Food What Cinemax Is to Porn
Boy #1: How are the Chili's restaurants around here?
Boy #2: They're know for them.
–7th Ave & Grove St.
Overheard by: Surfbeaver