Archive for October, 2012

(They Left Without Buying Anything)

Girl, breathing in deeply with orgasmic look on her face: Holy shit! Smell! Smell! Smell!
Guy: Oh my god! Yes!
Girl: You can gain weight just standing in here.

–Magnolia Bakery

Overheard by: Andrea Quijano


Girls Think About Boys; Boys Think About Vagina

Teen chick #1: I just can't tell how he really feels about me…
Teen chick #2: He likes you! He chose you! It's like Pokemon! He took his pokeball and said, “Nicole, I choose you”!
Teen chick #1: But, did he choose me? I think I chose him.
Teen chick #2: I don't know. Which one of you fits into a pokeball better?

–67th & Broadway

Overheard by: Minnie Amelia Rosario


Our Gaydar Went Off at “Beverages”

Guy #1: Let's sit in those seats so we can consume our beverages.
Guy #2: No, if we sit together people will think we're gay.
Guy #1: Not if I'm drinking soda!

–1 Train


She Really Had to Pee

Guy at bar: Is she ok?
Girl just arriving at bar: My friend? Yeah, dude, she's fine, she just had to pee.
Guy at bar: No, I meant that girl that got hit by the car outside.

–32nd St & Park Ave

Overheard by: i couldn't believe it either


Only You Understand Me, Roberto

Dumb girl: Do you think if I learned Italian I would get an accent?
Dumb boyfriend: You know Spanish and don't have one.

–Strand Bookstore

Overheard by: j. hood


Chocolate Comes Out the Other End

Little girl #1 (from inside bathroom stall): Do you like vanilla or chocolate ice cream?
Little girl #2 (from inside bathroom stall): I like vanilla.
Little girl #1 (from inside bathroom stall): I usually throw up when I have vanilla ice cream.

–Ladies' bathroom, Loews Cineplex


I'm Missing Texts, Even As We Speak

Little girl: Mommy, I want a phone.
Mom: You can't have a phone.
Little girl: But all my friends in second grade have phones.

–Pizzeria, Battery Park City

Overheard by: Bryan


One More Reason to Date Outside Your Race

Small white cashier gal: Collard greens, grits… I just love all that stuff!
Large black cashier gal, grimacing: Not me, that's slave food.

–Rite-Aid, Amsterdam & 69th St

Overheard by: Susan Volchok


Oh, I'd Do That Even If We Were Married

Short bald rich man: I hate that you go to work and take off your clothes for other men.
Stripper: Then you probably really hate that I have sex with other men in your bed.
Short bald rich man: As long as they're as rich as me. I don't want you fucking my employees.

–Ritz Diner, 1st Ave

Overheard by: Anna B