Archive for October, 2012

Girls Think About Boys; Boys Think About Vagina

Teen chick #1: I just can't tell how he really feels about me…
Teen chick #2: He likes you! He chose you! It's like Pokemon! He took his pokeball and said, “Nicole, I choose you”!
Teen chick #1: But, did he choose me? I think I chose him.
Teen chick #2: I don't know. Which one of you fits into a pokeball better?

–67th & Broadway

Overheard by: Minnie Amelia Rosario

She Really Had to Pee

Guy at bar: Is she ok?
Girl just arriving at bar: My friend? Yeah, dude, she's fine, she just had to pee.
Guy at bar: No, I meant that girl that got hit by the car outside.

–32nd St & Park Ave

Overheard by: i couldn't believe it either

Only You Understand Me, Roberto

Dumb girl: Do you think if I learned Italian I would get an accent?
Dumb boyfriend: You know Spanish and don't have one.

–Strand Bookstore

Overheard by: j. hood

Chocolate Comes Out the Other End

Little girl #1 (from inside bathroom stall): Do you like vanilla or chocolate ice cream?
Little girl #2 (from inside bathroom stall): I like vanilla.
Little girl #1 (from inside bathroom stall): I usually throw up when I have vanilla ice cream.

–Ladies' bathroom, Loews Cineplex

I'm Missing Texts, Even As We Speak

Little girl: Mommy, I want a phone.
Mom: You can't have a phone.
Little girl: But all my friends in second grade have phones.

–Pizzeria, Battery Park City

Overheard by: Bryan

One More Reason to Date Outside Your Race

Small white cashier gal: Collard greens, grits… I just love all that stuff!
Large black cashier gal, grimacing: Not me, that's slave food.

–Rite-Aid, Amsterdam & 69th St

Overheard by: Susan Volchok

Oh, I'd Do That Even If We Were Married

Short bald rich man: I hate that you go to work and take off your clothes for other men.
Stripper: Then you probably really hate that I have sex with other men in your bed.
Short bald rich man: As long as they're as rich as me. I don't want you fucking my employees.

–Ritz Diner, 1st Ave

Overheard by: Anna B

Next Time I'll Just Jack One

Five-year-old girl #1: Did I tell you that it took forever for me to find parking?
Five-year-old girl #2: No, really?
Five-year-old girl #1: Yes, there was a big truck in my way and I had to drive around forever, but I am here now. (girls go back to running through the fountain)

–Playground, Long Island City