Archive for October, 2012

Wednesday One-Liners Are Huge in Japan.

Old man: My wife is 389 pounds. And that's on the weekend. This woman tried to eat 37 hamburgers and a Diet Coke.

–A Train

Overheard by: CAC Baby from the Glebe

Guy to friends, watching half-dressed chubby girl walk by: I like my brown sugar oatmeal lumpy… Like that… Dammmmmn!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Charlotte

Mother to teen daughter: I was surprised that there were not more overweight people at the chocolate show.

–50th St

College girl to another: That was the first time I slept with a 300 lb Russian man.

–7th St & 1st Ave

Overheard by: Jake Fogelnest

Cashier to another: Naw, girl, not fat Rochelle… fat *Tiffany*!

–Park Slope, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Ladle

“Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall, Who's the Wednesday One-Linerest Of Them All?”

Woman to man behind deli counter: And please don't make my sandwich skinny. As you can see, I'm a voluptuous woman.

–Deli, East Flatbush

Overheard by: Just on my lunch break…

Tall, skinny employee to gaggle of tall, skinny coworkers: Yeah, whenever I'm feeling bad about myself, I like to go to Las Vegas. When I'm there, I'm like, "I'm the prettiest, skinniest girl here!" (pause) There are, like, all these fat women in tights walking around…

–Spring & Crosby

Woman to friend: She's legitimaly anorexic.

–Spring St

Overheard by: francyne pelchar

Typical smiling NYU female to girl, loudly in crowded area: Hi, sweetie, you look great! The swelling has all gone down… Almost…

–NYU Campus

Overheard by: Olivia Joy

Bringing Up Wednesday One-Liner

Woman to young crying son: Come here, man. Come over here. Come on! (to passing woman) Excuse me, miss, do you want that baby over there?

–103rd St & Amsterdam Ave

Teen to others: In honor of black history month, I'm getting all black girls pregnant.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Saurabh

Woman on cell: No, well, his babymom–one of his babymoms, he got 10 kids, you know–well anyway, they're living together now. (pause) No, but they ain't together like that! You don't understand. It's that she's got a heart condition. She's not doing well, so he moved in 'cause the baby only like two or three years old. He's going to be like a helping hand if she goes into the hospital permanently. Yeah, yeah… I know, it's too bad, 'cause I really had feelings for him, but everything happens for a reason, you know?

–188th St & Arthur Ave

Six-year-old boy: Whose baby is this? She's ruining our foundation!

–Sunnyside Gardens Park