Enthusiastic girl: Hi! I'm in your class. Can we be friends?
Burn out boy: … Yeah I guess.
Enthusiastic girl: Can we study together?
Burn out boy: Sure…
Enthusiastic girl: Great! What are you doing right now?
Burn out boy: Uhh…
–Bleecker St. and Mercer St.
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
Archive for November, 2012
Bitches Got Issues
Woman with puppy to guys on stoop: Next month we're putting her in the dog therapy program at jacobi hospital.
Guy: (taps his head) to make sure she's okay?
–Wilkinson Ave
Overheard by: francyne
That's What You Said About Cocaine!
Guy: What's the difference between an r&b voice and a gospel voice?
Girl: Nothing. One just has a little sprinkle of jesus.
–1 Train
It Was Beyond the Pale
Lady #1: Whatchoo doin this weekend.
Lady #2: Omg we’re goin to hunkamania for my girlfriend’s bachelorette.
Lady #1: Omg we went a month ago and I gotta tell you stories. I ate, like a 5 course meal off this hunk’s tan ass.
–Broadway and Wall
A Marriage Made in Manhattan
Subway anouncement:… Thank you for riding witb mta…
Loud guy on train, joyfully: You're welcome! You are so welcome!
–6 train
On a Moving Train. During Rush Hour.
Girl to another girl: "and that's when you farted really bad. I mean, it was noxious."
Fart girl: "but I fart all the time"
Original girl: "this one had people, like, running for cover. "
–Hotel Metro
Overheard by: CM
Haha, Kidney Failure!
Girl #1, standing in line for food at #8pm: "oh my god, you look so skinny!"
Girl #2: "that's because I literally haven't eaten in a week. I never understood before the idea of not having time to eat! I haven't used the bathroom since 6pm!"
–Xi'An Famous Foods
So Mexico + New Jersey = New Mexico?
Woman: Where is the couple from?
Man: She is from mexico and he is from new jersey.
Woman: Same thing. New jersey is like our mexico. Toxic waste dump.
–90th and 2nd Avenue
Tonight's Movie: The Gods Must Be Diabetic
two guys are drinking arizona ice teas in an elevator.
Brit: This stuff is the juice of the gods.
American: It is.
Brit: I wonder how much sugar it has it… Oh my god!!! 24 grams of sugar!!!??
American: Hey, it never said it was good for you.
Brit: And that's per a serving! There's 2.5 servings in this bottle! What am I going to do?
American: Get fat like the rest of us?
–27th st. and Broadway, elevator
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
Brooklyn Is Too Big to Fail, Dear Reader
Clearly lost tourist: Is this wall street?
Tourist's friend: …no. Why the fuck would you think that?!? We're in fucking brooklyn!
Tourist: Because… look at all the banks!
–Court St & Atlantic Ave., Brooklyn