Archive for November, 2012

…So He'll Have Killer Legs and an Oscar Nod?

Pretty girl:
Wow fact of the day thats super depressing : Matt mcconaughey now weighs only 20 lbs more than me. Fml.
Guy friend: He's also playing an aids patient.
Pretty girl: Oh. –40th and 6th Overheard by: Dan

Same Time Tomorrow?

the following exchange took place between two drivers. Not sure what occurred before I heard this.
Middle-aged white male: "hey, asshole! You didn't get there any quicker did you?!
Thirty-something black female: "shut the f*ck up before you catch a heart attack you old bastard. –W. 114th St. between Amsterdam and Broadway

Never Trust a Kid Who Tells Her Real Age

Woman: When will you be 9?
Little girl: Well first I'm gonna be 8 and a half, then 8 and two quarters, then 8 and one quarter, then 8 and three quarters and then 9! –Flushing Overheard by: Peter G

You Want Fries With That?

Jewish-american man turns to his waitress (in broken spanish): "I need a spanish girlfriend for 3 months"
Waitress: "we don't have that on the menu"
Man: "but I'm getting divorced and am going to be very lonely soon, plus I need someone to speak spanish to." –Katz Deli

Where Even the Italians Speak Yiddish

Cute waitress: I'm here to talk to you all about dessert.
Southern boy: I'm here to talk to you about schtupping.
Cw: Um…
Sb: You know what that means, right?
Cw: I'm from long island. –Elegant Midtown Restarant

Just Wait 'til They Discuss Periods.

Woman: My friend does a colon cleanse once a month, it's really good for you. Cleans out all the toxins.
Man: Colon? Isn't colon a kind of cancer?
Woman: No, fool, it's a part of your body.
Man: What part?
Woman: I dunno, somewhere… Here… (waves her hand around her chest and midsection). –4 train Overheard by: Jej

That's Their Slogan

outside of david barton gym.
Lady #1: Ooh I love this store!
Lady #2: What do they sell? I can't see!
Lady #1: Like skulls and stuff.
Lady #2: There's not very much stuff in there… –Lafayette and Astor Pl. Overheard by: Bruce Lee

Annoying Tourists Are My Toilet.

while waiting for hot dogs at a street vendor…
Middle aged southern woman #1: "how come new yorkers are so rude?"
Middle aged southern woman #2: "because most of them don't love jesus."
Middle aged southern woman #1: <directed at the street vendor>: "what do y'all do when you have to go to the bathroom?"
Vendor: (no response). –14th & Broadway (Union Square) Overheard by: Eric