Archive for November, 2012

Probably Shouldn't Send Her Pictures Of My Girlfriend

person 1 "I don't let anybody bring down my day."
person 2. "u crazy. Yeah man. I see all these women walking around with sad faces. Hope their men are treating them right. But then again, it could be their kids driving them crazy. U treat your woman right? I hope u do. But your divorced, so I don't know."

–140th St & Willis Ave

Overheard by: Danny

…Did You See Her Shoes?!

sat next to a table where there is a husband and wife having drinks and a very beautiful woman walks by.
Husband said
: "holy crap honey, I am going to look at this woman… She looks like a model, please don't be mad!"

Wife said: "don't worry … I am looking too!"

–Local Bar -11 E. 36th St

“Settling:” Defined

Man: Look honey, our first date! *points to china chalet*.
Woman: Ugh, should've been the last.

–Broadway and Morris St.

Overheard by: Stephanie

Talk About Slippery Slope Arguments

spoken as man is doing up his pants in the middle of the street. "yeah I ate her pussy while she was on her period, but it was the last day."
"dude, she's your second cousin."
"yeah but she's hot. You'd fuck your first cousin if she was hot, but your cousin isn't hot."

–Bleecker Street & Thompson Street

Overheard by: Tamara

…I'll Just Remove My Pants, Instead

Girl #1: It's so hot in here! I wanna take off my shirt!
Girl #2: (laughing) so take it off.
Girl #1: I didn't mean it like that, I have a tank top underneath.
Girl #2: So take it off.
Girl #1: No! I'm not wearing a bra.

–Queens College library

Oh, Leave Jeff Goldblum Alone.

two twentyish girls walking and talking.
Girl #1
: Would I be afraid to meet him in a dark alley? (pause) no.

Girl #2: I would.

–20th between Park & Broadway

Overheard by: Farley

Pettiness and Backbiting, for Example

Cop #1: So she took her break around noon and I didn't see her back out here again 'til #2: 15.
Cop #2: That's some shit, specially on a day this crazy.
Cop #1: I can't believe that bitch is going to clock some overtime for today!
Cop #2: So messed up, some things never change.

–Foley Square (9/17/12 about 8pm)

Overheard by: Nate

Yeah, Your Zipper's Open

Girl: Thank you captain obvious.
Guy: I love captain obvious. He's my favorite superhero. I'm actually wearing captain obvious boxers.

–1st bet 85th and 86th

Overheard by: Bunni

(Psst– “Anthony Weiner” Is What He Named His Penis)

Male prof: With distance learning technology what it is, there is nothing I can't do from hawaii.
Female prof: You couldn't sexually harass your students.
Male prof: That's something I'm working on.
Other male prof: You could consult anthony weiner about that.

–Russian Vodka Room

Didn't Watch the Debates, Did You

Gay #1: So what did you think of the debate last night?
Gay #2: Look: There are millions of rednecks out there who think that romney was getting laid last night and obama wasn't. They couldn't be more wrong.

–The New School