Archive for December, 2012

Sister Mary Catherine Will Be Disappointed

two middle-aged guys walking down the street.
Guy #1
: Yes I can!

Guy #2: No you can't! You're not supposed to have sex with your sister.

–Cortelyou Road & 17th Street, Ditmas Park, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Jason


Wednesday One-Liners Have at Least One Marketable Skill

Pragmatist: I figure if I don’t get a job in publishing, I’ll become a video vixen.

–Dunkin’ Donuts, Ditmars Blvd, Astoria

Overheard by: Christine


Skank
: No way! I am not one of those girls. I am not a video girl…I am a dancer!


–34th & 8th

Overheard by: Skye


Ditz
: Supposably [sic], she’s going to be dancing in some Beyonce video. She’s so stupid.


–54th St between 9th & 10th


Media scholar
: Well it’s different when the girl getting fucked in the video is the same age as you. I mean, that’s great when you’re 15.


–20th & 8th


I’ll Wait and Give It to the Kid

Lady hobo: Hey, y’all, I’m homeless and I’m three months pregnant, and I’m looking for some help from the people of this train, so if anybody got some money they want to give, please help me take care of my baby.
College girl with change: I’ll give you this money if you’re saving up for an abortion.
Lady hobo: What? Nooo, I’m keeepin’ my baby.
College girl, putting change away: Okay, then.
Lady hobo: Wait, what?

–F train

In Person, Miley and Billy Ray Are Pretty Much What You'd Expect.

Guy, on Nextel: Hey, honey.
Girl, on other end of Nextel: Dad, I'm pissed! I think he's cheating on me.
Guy: Why do you say that?
Girl: Cause my vagina is itchy and red.
Guy: Well, maybe you should go get checked.
Girl: But dad, what should I do?
Guy: Honey, let me call you back, I'm about to pay the cashier… call you in a little.

–33rd & Madison

Overheard by: OZoNE

Would You Prefer “Dismounting”?

Bus driver: (to passenger standing near door) are you getting off?
Random old man: (mutters) I don't like those two words, "getting off."

–Q33 bus


Not Exactly American Girl, Honey

Elementary-aged girl to her mother, upon seeing an ad atop a passing cab: "wow, mom, new york dolls! Can we go?"
Mom: "uh… No."

–Duane St. and Hudson St.


Cultural Imperialism? Discuss.

Older lady #1: Now who builds an art gallery in the middle of the ghetto??
Older lady #2: White people.

–Myrtle and Tompkins Ave. in Bedstuy

Overheard by: Matt Dallow


Paging Doctor Freud

Woman pushing stroller: Mama!
Baby: Papa!
Woman: Mama!
Baby: Papa!
Woman: No papa, mama!
Baby: Papa!
Woman: Can you say mama?
Baby: Papa!

–103rd and Columbus


Can We Have Sex First?

Guy: Finally! I'm here in nyc.
Girl: Welcome to the city that never sleeps sweetie. Luckily,we have plenty of coffee to go around.

–JFK Airport

Overheard by: colin_nyc