Archive for December, 2012

Paging Doctor Freud

Woman pushing stroller: Mama!
Baby: Papa!
Woman: Mama!
Baby: Papa!
Woman: No papa, mama!
Baby: Papa!
Woman: Can you say mama?
Baby: Papa!

–103rd and Columbus

To Manscape Or Not to Manscape, That Is the Question

"there are two bathrooms over there! You're sitting here scratching your penis like it's ok. It's not ok!"
"balls. I'm scratching my balls, not my penis."
"balls, testicles, nuts, wrinkles, whatever! Still not ok!"
"careful, don't turn yourself on, honey."

–Harlem Hospital ER

Can We Have Sex First?

Guy: Finally! I'm here in nyc.
Girl: Welcome to the city that never sleeps sweetie. Luckily,we have plenty of coffee to go around.

–JFK Airport

Overheard by: colin_nyc

Um, That Was a Billboard.

lost yuppies (and you think hipsters are bad).
Yuppie guy #1
: I think we have to go over the bridge before we can get off.

Yuppie girl: I never go to brooklyn, I prefer to stay in chelsea or the west village. I dont even like to go to les. Too divey.
Yuppie guy #2: You dont like to slum it?
Girl: No im not into slumming it in the les.
:: they all laugh::
Yuppie guy #1: (whispering) I hear where we are going is near the marcy projects.
Yuppie guy #2: (as the train starts to go over the bridge) yeah, I heard that too. There are just too many graffitied walls around here for my comfort.

–Brooklyn bound J train

“Blanket Statement:” Defined

heard a loud noise from a mother asking her room from outside.
"what was that, justin??"
"the blankets fell off the bed, mom!"
"how come his voice so loud?"
"in my blanket no, ma'am!"

–East 6th & 3rd Ave

Rebellion in the Streets!

Japanese teacher to class: Say oishii-desu.
Entire japanese class: Oishikunai!
(oishii means delicious and oishikunai means not delicious).

–Times Square

Bob Thought He Was Drinking at the Library

Girl, hitting on guy with book: "oh, you like to read? What's your name?"
Guy: (mutters inaudibly).
Girl: "is that how you talk to a girl at a bar?"

–Sycamore, Brooklyn

United States– Yeah, Right

Tourist father talking to his #6 year old smart son: Well, here we are, welcome to the center of the universe!
Tourist son: Oh please, its not even the center of the united states…

–Times Square

Overheard by: lady_liberty

Like That He's a Republican?

still drunk on the way to work.
Dude #1
: I am so hungover right now.

Dude #2: Me too dude.
Dude #1: Come to think of it, I think I am still drunk.
Dude #2: Me too, this is going to suck.
Dude #1: Know what? Im ready for this shit. I mean im drunk but I feel totally ready for work. I mean, I could do math right now. Give me any math problem and ill do it. Algebra, geometry, doesn't matter. I might be drunk, but I can definitely do math.
Dude #2: I just got the most amazing book ever.
Dude #1: Yeah? What is it?
Dude #2: Its called the truth about chuck norris and its just allll chuck norris jokes.

–Manhattan Bound J train, 7:30am