Archive for 2012

Only 1% Finds It Funny Anymore.

Suit: Are you guys from Occupy Wall Street?
Hipster in apparent squatters' camp: No, we're waiting for SNL tickets. –49th & 6th

Eww, Are You Talking About Intercourse?

Old man: Hey, man!
Older man: Hey there.
Old man: How you doing?
Older man: I'm good, man, I'm good.
Old man: Yeah?
Older man: Yeah, man… We're getting old. What else can we do? Just keep on pushing. –103rd St & Manhattan Avenue

Um, That Was a Subway Platform.

Father: Did you have fun?
Seven-year old boy: Yeah, the whole bottom floor was like candy heaven, I mean the sign said it was candy heaven but it was actual candy heaven!
Father: They had candy there?
Seven-year old boy: Duh, it's a candy bar! –86th & 2nd

He's a Good Looking Guy, Too

Teenage daughter: Well, I guess New York's really the only place you'll ever see people that look this strange…
Father: Yeah. Oh, wow, that one over there looks like Lady Gaga! –W 58th St

Get Me a Piece Of Retail

Hobo to hot girl passing by: You are so fine!
Hot girl wearing Abercrombie t-shirt: Uummmmm, thanks.
Hobo: Abercrombie, huh? Where's that college at? That's where I need to be if girls look like you! –116th St & Frederick Douglas Overheard by: Brittany