Archive for 2012

Ad: “Now With Unlimited Noise and Odors!”

Young boy: Grandma, let's go, this is our stop!
Grandma: Is it?
Mother: Yes, we're almost there.
Young boy: Is this the limited bus?
Mother: No, this is the unlimited bus.

–Local Queens Bus


Professor: Hey, you ever heard of a guy named Spike Jonze?
Student: Didn't he direct an Ikea commercial?

–Tisch School of the Arts

Overheard by: Bruce Lee

Only 1% Finds It Funny Anymore.

Suit: Are you guys from Occupy Wall Street?
Hipster in apparent squatters' camp: No, we're waiting for SNL tickets.

–49th & 6th

Eww, Are You Talking About Intercourse?

Old man: Hey, man!
Older man: Hey there.
Old man: How you doing?
Older man: I'm good, man, I'm good.
Old man: Yeah?
Older man: Yeah, man… We're getting old. What else can we do? Just keep on pushing.

–103rd St & Manhattan Avenue

Um, That Was a Subway Platform.

Father: Did you have fun?
Seven-year old boy: Yeah, the whole bottom floor was like candy heaven, I mean the sign said it was candy heaven but it was actual candy heaven!
Father: They had candy there?
Seven-year old boy: Duh, it's a candy bar!

–86th & 2nd