Archive for 2012

Fathering Children Means It'll Never Be Your Turn

Toddler: Mum, mum, mum, mum…
Dad: How about daddy?
Toddler: Mum, mum, mum, mum…
Dad: But what about daddy??
Toddler: Mum, mum, mum, mum…
Dad, stressed: When is it going to be daddy's turn?

–B Train

Overheard by: Akiko


…But I Disclaim All Responsibility

Man: Excuse me miss, may I sit?
Lady: Oh yes. (moves over)
Man: (farts very loudly)
Woman: (makes astonished face)
Man: Yeah! (turns to her) That just happened!

–E Train


What Kind Of Man Has Female Friends?

Queer #1: I just don't get him at all.
Queer #2: Seriously! It's like he wants to be bisexual, but without the sexual.

–14th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: tchassis


Next: “Should I Be Dieting?”

Platinum blonde to brunette friend: Should I be tanning?
Brunette friend, earnestly: You're already tan! You're a tan person!
Blonde girl: No I'm not!

–Columbia University


I Think, Therefore…Something, Something

Fan girl #1: What embassy is that?
Fan girl #2: Which one?
Fan girl #1: That one over there.
Fan girl #2: That's the United Nations.
Fan girl #1: Oh, I thought that was like, one big country's embassy.
Fan girl #2: No, that's like everyone's.
Fan girl #1: Oh, you know I'm not good at knowing stuff.

–Tudor City


Can I Get a “Yee Haw?

Country teenager #1: What's “Pucci”?
Country teenager #2: It's probably like, a knockoff of Gucci. I think everything is a knockoff. You can tell I'm a country girl.

–55th St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: facepalm


…Not Your Uninformed Consent

Wasted chick: It's okay, I took my thong off before we left penn station. But don't worry, it's only a few more stops.
Conductor: Ummm, when I said “tickets please,” I just wanted your ticket.

–Penn Station


We Got Dizzy Just Trying to Figure This Out.

Chelsea diner #1: I figured out why I'm obsessed with narcissism!
Chelsea diner #2: Oh?
Chelsea diner #1: All my stories are about “vertigo”!
Chelsea diner #2: Oh…?

–Dish Diner, 20th St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Wandering lush