Archive for 2012

Nobody Likes the C-Word

Young woman, removing iPod after being pushed: What the hell was that about?
Grumpy old school dude: You were in my way.
Young woman: Fuck you!
Grumpy old school dude: Enjoy ovarian cancer, bitch!

–L Train

That's Exactly What the Nuns Used to Say!

Teenage gangsta: Yo nigga, that motherfucka dressed like Rocky! Yo rocky, knock that bitch out!
Halloween rocky: Uhhhh! Yo! (strikes Rocky pose)
Teenage gangsta: You betta get yo ass in the freezer and start beating your meat.

–7 Train

Overheard by: I'm not eating their cooking

Don't Take Mushrooms to the Ale House, Dear Reader

Guy #1, watching guy #2 startled by his own reflection: Dude, bathrooms will fuck you up. Whoa, then I saw a mirror.
Guy #2: Dude, you don't look into the mirror. How many dimensions were you?

–Amsterdam Ale House

We've Never Felt So Safe

Guy pushing handcart of fire extinguishers, after one falls and explodes: It's just like baby powder!

–43rd & 6th

By Shooting Him

Guy to girlfriend: You didn't even invite me in! You didn't treat me as good as you'd treat any other customer! (later) No, the next time some dude tries to give you his number, you take it, you understand? That way, I can hunt him down and tell him you aren't interested, and he's inappropriate!

–1 Uptown/Times Square

Overheard by: ggirl

How Do You Mean That, Kyle?

Drunk bro #1: Where the hell are you even from?
Drunk bro #2: Tarrytown, bro!
Drunk bro #1: Tarrytown fuckin' sucks. Ossining, baby!
Drunk bro #2: Anyone from Ossining is a homo.
Drunk bro #1: Da fuck you say?! I'm gunna kick your ass. (turns to friend behind him) Hold my sandwich, bro!

–Metro-North Rail

Overheard by: I hate this train