Archive for 2012

That's Exactly What the Nuns Used to Say!

Teenage gangsta: Yo nigga, that motherfucka dressed like Rocky! Yo rocky, knock that bitch out!
Halloween rocky: Uhhhh! Yo! (strikes Rocky pose)
Teenage gangsta: You betta get yo ass in the freezer and start beating your meat.

–7 Train

Overheard by: I'm not eating their cooking

Don't Take Mushrooms to the Ale House, Dear Reader

Guy #1, watching guy #2 startled by his own reflection: Dude, bathrooms will fuck you up. Whoa, then I saw a mirror.
Guy #2: Dude, you don't look into the mirror. How many dimensions were you?

–Amsterdam Ale House

We've Never Felt So Safe

Guy pushing handcart of fire extinguishers, after one falls and explodes: It's just like baby powder!

–43rd & 6th

How Do You Mean That, Kyle?

Drunk bro #1: Where the hell are you even from?
Drunk bro #2: Tarrytown, bro!
Drunk bro #1: Tarrytown fuckin' sucks. Ossining, baby!
Drunk bro #2: Anyone from Ossining is a homo.
Drunk bro #1: Da fuck you say?! I'm gunna kick your ass. (turns to friend behind him) Hold my sandwich, bro!

–Metro-North Rail

Overheard by: I hate this train

Everybody's Racist, but White People Do More Damage With It

Black girl #1: Yo, so I'm liking Joe*, but I don't even know what to do with him.
Black girl #2: You said he's all cute 'n shit, so what's up? Did he stop by your place?
Black girl #1: Naw, see that's the problem. He's a white dude and my mom would shit.
Black girl #2: For real?
Black girl #1: Yo, I'll go out with him and suck his dick and all that, but when it comes to my mom…
Black girl #2: Seriously. You gotta be careful.
Black girl #1: Yeah…
Black girl #2: You start hanging out with white people too much and you start gettin' weird.
Black girl #1: Yeah…
Black girl #2: Like Michael Jackson and shit.
Black girl #1: Yeah…

–Bedford & Carol

Overheard by: tchassis

And Would You Bring a Hot Friend?

Girl #1: Hey babe, do you wanna meet up tonight?
Guy #1: Nah, I'm busy. (walks off).
Guy #1 to girl 2: Hey, do you wanna meet up tonight?
Girl #2: Yeah, that'll be great!

–Central Park