Archive for 2012

Isn't That the Title Of a John Grisham Book?

Young black dude: Are you crying?
Friend #1: No, man.
Friend #2: Shit, he's crying.
Young black dude: Ah, no more tears. I can't handle no more tears.
Friend #2: You know the Grand Canyon ain't never had no river before y'all niggas came round.

–13th & 3rd

Overheard by: Keith C.

When Horror Movies Become RomComs

Woman in cinema during exorcism scene, after being splashed with soda: Baby!
Man: I'm sorry… It was an accident.
Woman: I'm all wet, baby!
Man: I know…
Woman: Baby! I'm all wet…
Man: I heard you the first time.
Woman: My skirt is dripping wet, baby. Go get a towel.
Man: Can you just wait till after this?
Woman: But… I'm all wet, baby.

–AMC Loews, 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Michael Bastianelli

God Didn't Forsake Him, the Economy Did

Busboy: Jesus!
Bartender: Christmas?
(both laugh)
: Hey, did I tell you what Jesus is doing now?

Busboy: No, what?
Bartender: He's a doorman, in the 20s.
Busboy: That's good money.
Bartender: Yeah, it is. Good for him.

–Broadway & 112nd St

We're Walking, You Know

Boy: My parents are taking me to Ireland in the autumn, can you go with?
Friend: Um, hold on (counts on fingers) June, July, Autumn… Yeah, I think I can go.

–E. 87th & Madison Ave

Overheard by: Zakk

But How Did We Breathe?

Ditzy teenage girl: Wait, are we on an island?
Nonplussed teenage boy: Yep.
Ditzy teenage girl: How did we get here?
Nonplussed teenage boy: The Lincoln tunnel.
Ditzy teenage girl: It goes underwater?
Nonplussed teenage boy: It goes underwater.

–1 Train

I'm That Kind Of Cat

Teen #1: I pissed in his car, so… He can't fix that.
Teen #2: You pissed in his car?

–Douglass Houses

Beats an Unwell Drink, Any Day.

Tourist jogger: What do you recommend?
Bartender: For half price we have a number of well drinks available.
Tourist jogger: I'll have a well drink, then.

–Botanica Bar

Overheard by: Ruthless

Mrs. Paisley Lacks Self-Knowledge

Wife pushing stroller: You don't put patterns in patterns. You just don't. It's a basic design rule.
Exasperated husband: Marilyn.
Wife: You just don't do that!
Husband: Oh, come on, Marilyn.

–13th St & 4th Ave

Overheard by: Don Willmott

Mom Gets Her First Gray Hair

Little girl: It'll be my party and I'll be four and a half.
Mother: Well, you'll be five.
Little girl: But mommy, I didn't have a four and half birthday party!

–F Train

We Expected “MMMBop” to Live Forever

Teen boy #1: Yeah, I was going to see this Drake concert with Hanson as a opening act.
Teen boy #2: Who's Hanson?
Teen boy #1: I don't know. Maybe they this new group coming out or something.

–6 Train

Overheard by: Pepper