Archive for 2012

We're Walking, You Know

Boy: My parents are taking me to Ireland in the autumn, can you go with?
Friend: Um, hold on (counts on fingers) June, July, Autumn… Yeah, I think I can go.

–E. 87th & Madison Ave

Overheard by: Zakk

But How Did We Breathe?

Ditzy teenage girl: Wait, are we on an island?
Nonplussed teenage boy: Yep.
Ditzy teenage girl: How did we get here?
Nonplussed teenage boy: The Lincoln tunnel.
Ditzy teenage girl: It goes underwater?
Nonplussed teenage boy: It goes underwater.

–1 Train

I'm That Kind Of Cat

Teen #1: I pissed in his car, so… He can't fix that.
Teen #2: You pissed in his car?

–Douglass Houses

Beats an Unwell Drink, Any Day.

Tourist jogger: What do you recommend?
Bartender: For half price we have a number of well drinks available.
Tourist jogger: I'll have a well drink, then.

–Botanica Bar

Overheard by: Ruthless

“UES Entitlement Crisis:” Defined

UES nanny: Come on now, we have to get ready to go.
Two-year-old girl, whining and stomping feet: Where are we going?
UES nanny: I told you this morning; we're going to take the bus to Zoe's for your play date. Don't you want to play with Zoe today?
Two-year-old girl, now waling: I don't want to take the bus, I want to take a TAXI… Taaaxiiiii!

–E. 74th & Lexington

The Harvey Milk School?

Teenage boy: I go to a high school!
Teenage girl: Really? I go to a magical unicorn palace!

–Westminster Rd, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Sunny

Hey, It's Not Like We Date!

Girl: I never noticed that you have hair on your arm.
Gay friend: You've known me for, what, a little under a year!
Girl: No I haven't, it's only been like…10 months!
Gay friend: A little under a year.

–Q Train

You Say Tomato…

Irish girl, seeing flashing lights: Oh, look! A bar!
Brooklyn girl: No… It's the bail agency.

–Downtown Brooklyn

But Thanks, God-Haunted Stranger!

Crazy dude to girl #1: How long have you known the lord Jesus?
(no reply)
Crazy dude to girl #2
: Are you an actress?

Girl #2, laughing: No.
Crazy dude: A dancer?
Girl #2, laughing: No.
Crazy dude: Did you pledge a sorority?
Girl #2, not laughing anymore: Uh… no.
Crazy dude to girl #1, as she's walking off the train: God bless you, dear.
Girl #1: Shut up.

–C Train

Overheard by: Petey Mills