Archive for 2012

1.3 Billion Chinese People Can't Be Wrong About These Wednesday One-Liners

20-something suit to another: I'm getting tired of spending every day chasing Asian girls, and every Friday night at Pacha.

–6th Ave & 21st

Bearded guy: The Chinese are taking over everything. Soon it'll be Barnes & Noodles!

–Ollies, 66th St.

Extremely loud teen on cell: I axed mad Asians. I axed Chinese, too! Ain't nobody have turtles, ace! They said come back in the summer!

–6th Ave & W Houston

Drunken white girl to friend: I'm more Korean than you!

–E7th St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: Lotte


Wednesday One-Liners Are Much Ado About Nuttin'

High school kid: So wait, his balls had asthma?

–Downtown B Train

Man on cell: I know what your life's like now. Out in the world. On tour. You got life by the balls.

–Pommes Frites

Guy in front of bar: I taped this joint to my balls; who wants a toke?

–MacDougal & 8th

20-something classy girl to friend: Well, he was leaning over me, teasing me with his balls… So… I just flicked them! He got so mad!

–Starbucks, Columbus Circle

Overheard by: Tall Mocha Frap


A Wednesday One-Liner a Day Keeps the Doctor Away

Guy on cell: So she doesn't have a urinary tract infection? Fantastic.

–JFK Airport

Woman to elderly man she's been following: Why did you cough at me when you walked by? Why? Why? Why you do that to me? Why did you cough at me when you walked by? Tell me why? Why?! I should have You Tubed it! Smh!

–Flushing

Overheard by: Maria

Guy in line on cell: Yeah, I'm comin back from the doctor's office, I may have to get surgery, they are still trying to figure out if I have cancer in my nuts.

–Deli near Park & 28th

Tranny on cell: Yeah, my hormones make my stomach hurt.

–Woodside, Queens

Coffee cart guy, arguing with female customer: You can't do four sugars! Four sugars is diabetes!

–Union Square

Overheard by: No sugar