Archive for 2012

Wasn't This a Denzel Washington Movie?

Female MTA employee, over PA, after train doesn't stop at Fordham: Chris, we missed Fordham.
Male MTA employee, also over PA, sounding drunk: I fucked up.

–Metro-North Rail

Overheard by: Mike

Rupaul Was a Feisty Little Kid.

Mother: Do you remember what this is?
Four-year-old son: No.
Mother: It's what mommy has. Its a vagina. Remember all little girls have a vagina.
Four-year-old son: No, they don't.
Mother: What do they have?
Four-year-old son: Penis.
Mother: No, that's what little boys have.
Four-year-old son: Oh, yeah, hehehe… I forgot.

–Grand Central Station

Overheard by: Nellie Adrien

Short Term Memory Loss Can Be a Real Drag.

Hobo: Excuse me, sweetie, can I bum a cigarette?
Female tourist: Eh… I already bummed you one.
Hobo: Oh, you did? When?
Female tourist: About eight minutes ago.
Hobo: Really? (proceeds to take pack from his pocket, pulls a cigarette and lights up) I must have forgot.

–Spring & Broadway

Umm, This Is Metro NY.

Black guy #1: Hey, come get your newspapers here!
Black guy #2: Hey man, is they free?
Black guy #1: Ohmigod. That's the problem you with you black people! Damn, ya always want free shit! No, nigga, it ain't free!

–2 Train

So Anyways, We're Dating Now

17-year-old girl smoking on her stoop, on phone: We had this party at school and I was tardy, and my English professor told me don't mark late, mark tardy, and I said but they said if I erased anything I'd be in trouble, he said, tell them they are stupid, tell them they are ignorant. So then I'm in English class, and my teacher and me are the only girls and one of the guys says I'm never getting married because all girls are birds, and I say, what is a bird? And he says a bird is a girl who gives it up on the first date, a bird is a girl who stays out til midnite on a school nite, a bird is a girl who takes your number at a party, a bird is girl who goes to clubs.

–Park Slope

You Know It's Impossible to Get Her to Talk Dirty to You, Right?

Snobbish girl: My sister has no friends.
Disinterested guy: Hmmm.
Snobbish girl: She is lonely.
Disinterested guy: Hmmm.
Snobbish girl: I have been telling her to buy the new iPhone with Siri. She will at least have someone to talk to.
Disinterested guy: I wish I had that phone too.