Archive for 2012

He's Back from Amsterdam?

Hip Asian NYU girl #1: This is like totally hitting my spot.
Hip Asian NYU girl #2: Oh my god, yeah!

–West Village Chipotle


In a Kids R' Us.

Conductor: Herald Square, the r train is across the platform.
Four-year-old-in-stroller: The r train!
Mom: Yep.
Four-year-old: The r train. The r train! We can take the r train to Kendall's house.
Mom: No, honey.
Four-year-old: Oh.
Mom: How do we get to Kendall's house?
Four-year-old: Oh. We take a taxi.
Mom: Yep.
Four-year-old: We take a taxi… Then an airplane.
Mom: Yep. Kendall lives in Austin, Texas.

–Q-train, 34th Street

Overheard by: Sarah Hammond


Psych!

Little brother: Look! There's the Empire State Building!
Older brother: And there's a Dunkin' Donuts!
Little brother: Ooohh! Where?

–M103 Bus

Overheard by: Samantha


Coincidence?

Teenager getting on b44: Look, there's another bus coming!
Older male relative: That's the q35!
Teenager: You're 35!

–Nostrand Ave.

Overheard by: Someone eating slim jims


The Unkindest Cutlet Of All

Dude trying to buy a deli sandwich: Yo, that chicken cutlet… Is that chicken or fish?
Deli guy: It's beef.
(really long pause)
Dude
: Is it chicken or fish?

Deli guy: What are smoking, man? What kind of question is that? It's a chicken cutlet.
(another long pause)
Dude
: Nah, for real. Is it chicken?

Deli guy: Yeah! It's chicken!
Dude: So, how come it looks like fish?
Deli guy: Because chickens lay eggs… And fish also lay eggs.
Dude: Alright.
(long pause, then dude looks for someone else in the back)
Dude
: What happened to my friend who works here?


–Broadway & 204th St


…Ashhole

Boyfriend: What's with all the crap on some people's foreheads?
Girlfriend, somewhat unsurprised: It's Ash Wednesday.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: K.


Sneezing

Teenage boy: I hope you sneeze.
Teenage girl: I hope you die.

–Downtown A Train


A Hobo Told Me!

Seven-year-old girl pointing at tracks: See, that's the first rail, and then that's the second rail, and then it's the third rail. That one is electrified and if you touch it, you will die.
Shocked mother: How do you know that?

–34th St Herald Square Subway Platform


Rip Van Winkle Was Astonished to Hear It

Chick-Fil-A employee: 's up, homes?
African-American student: Did you just call me 'homes'?
Chick-Fil-A employee: (looks perplexed)
African-American student: Sorry, that's just not my life… It's 2012, man!

–NYU Chick-Fil-A

Overheard by: waaaat