Archive for 2012

Just When You Think the Bar Can't Get Any Lower

Guy: Hey, I think I just saw Snooki!
Girl: You know she was just arrested, right?
Guy: Yeah, I heard. She got arrested at the beach. Do you know how drunk you have to be to get arrested at the beach? I mean, it's seaside. Come on!

–Metro-North Rail

No Argument from This Corner.

Girl, pressing the handicap access button to open the door: Oh my god, look! We're handicapped now!
Boy: Huh. Yeah.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Chloe

Do You? Discuss.

Nerdy guy, ordering coffee: Can I have a large cafe latte?
Hipster girl behind him: It's “venti”! You have to speak Starbucks, bro.

–Flatiron District

Overheard by: SIADD

Your Editors: Classic!

Tourist girl: Can you take our picture?
New Yorker: Sorry, I'm in a rush.
Tourist girl, under breath to friends: Asshole.
New Yorker, over his shoulder: Tourists!

–Broadway & 47th St

Will You at Least Wave It to Fix Cars?

Little boy in Dora t-shirt, sitting on bench: And when I grow up…
Macho mechanic man, working at hood of car: You're gonna be a mechanic just like your old man!
Little boy: No, daddy. I wanna get a magic wand, and then I'm gonna become a giiiiiiiiiirl!
Macho mechanic man: (drops tool)

–Auto Shop, Brooklyn

Overheard by: ABrooklynBabysNanny

Or, to Clarify, the Harlem Renaissance.

Smoker #1: So first you had the dinosaurs, and the Ice Age.
Smoker #2: Uh-huh.
Smoker #1: And then there was the Renaissance.
Smoker #2: Uh-huh. (pause) What?

–Library, 2nd Ave

Suddenly I'm Strangely Nostalgic for the LIRR…

Drunk guy, sweating profusely and dripping hand sweat onto train passengers seated below him: Oh, oh, I'm 22, I know everything about the world, I went to college, oh oh I'm 22!
West Point guy, trying to keep the drunk in check: Dude, you're 22 too. You just said that.
Drunk guy: I've been 20 since I was 2 years old.
Drunk guy
: You wanna punch me? Go ahead, punch my face, see how many thousands of dollars in debt you are.

West Point guy: I'm not gonna punch you, man.
Drunk guy: I'll punch myself in the face!
Drunk guy
: Suck a dick. Suck a dick. Suck a dick, swallow the cum, get the protein. Oh, it's so much protein it's like a protein bar. A big protein bar!

–7 Train

Overheard by: OutReachers