Archive for 2012

Everybody's Racist, but White People Do More Damage With It

Black girl #1: Yo, so I'm liking Joe*, but I don't even know what to do with him.
Black girl #2: You said he's all cute 'n shit, so what's up? Did he stop by your place?
Black girl #1: Naw, see that's the problem. He's a white dude and my mom would shit.
Black girl #2: For real?
Black girl #1: Yo, I'll go out with him and suck his dick and all that, but when it comes to my mom…
Black girl #2: Seriously. You gotta be careful.
Black girl #1: Yeah…
Black girl #2: You start hanging out with white people too much and you start gettin' weird.
Black girl #1: Yeah…
Black girl #2: Like Michael Jackson and shit.
Black girl #1: Yeah…

–Bedford & Carol

Overheard by: tchassis

And Would You Bring a Hot Friend?

Girl #1: Hey babe, do you wanna meet up tonight?
Guy #1: Nah, I'm busy. (walks off).
Guy #1 to girl 2: Hey, do you wanna meet up tonight?
Girl #2: Yeah, that'll be great!

–Central Park

…Everyone Knows That's My Song.

Guy walking past, singing in an operatic voice: And I am singing my song!
Street vendor nearby: Shawn, come the fuck on.

–Port Authority Bus Terminal

Just When You Think the Bar Can't Get Any Lower

Guy: Hey, I think I just saw Snooki!
Girl: You know she was just arrested, right?
Guy: Yeah, I heard. She got arrested at the beach. Do you know how drunk you have to be to get arrested at the beach? I mean, it's seaside. Come on!

–Metro-North Rail

No Argument from This Corner.

Girl, pressing the handicap access button to open the door: Oh my god, look! We're handicapped now!
Boy: Huh. Yeah.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Chloe

Do You? Discuss.

Nerdy guy, ordering coffee: Can I have a large cafe latte?
Hipster girl behind him: It's “venti”! You have to speak Starbucks, bro.

–Flatiron District

Overheard by: SIADD

Your Editors: Classic!

Tourist girl: Can you take our picture?
New Yorker: Sorry, I'm in a rush.
Tourist girl, under breath to friends: Asshole.
New Yorker, over his shoulder: Tourists!

–Broadway & 47th St

Will You at Least Wave It to Fix Cars?

Little boy in Dora t-shirt, sitting on bench: And when I grow up…
Macho mechanic man, working at hood of car: You're gonna be a mechanic just like your old man!
Little boy: No, daddy. I wanna get a magic wand, and then I'm gonna become a giiiiiiiiiirl!
Macho mechanic man: (drops tool)

–Auto Shop, Brooklyn

Overheard by: ABrooklynBabysNanny

Or, to Clarify, the Harlem Renaissance.

Smoker #1: So first you had the dinosaurs, and the Ice Age.
Smoker #2: Uh-huh.
Smoker #1: And then there was the Renaissance.
Smoker #2: Uh-huh. (pause) What?

–Library, 2nd Ave