Archive for 2012

Wedne$day One-Liner$

Young male attorney: I like my job. It pays barely enough to keep me alive, but…

–Civil Court, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Big Larry

Little kid: But mom, you said we were gonna buy a piggy bank!!

–2 Train, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Laughing passenger

Woman shouting down her phone: Well, of course I'm grateful for everything. But you said we were spending too much money. So I said: "well, let's not do it, then." I mean, we have six cars and you never drive the Porsche!

–Central Park West

Ghetto girl on cell: That bitch act like she got money, but she only workin at IHOP!

–Queens

Overheard by: Raven


Wednesday One-Liners Are Still Pretty Spry

Old lady to guy pushing cart with large musical instrument case on top: Hey! Do you have a dead body in there?

–8th & 6th Ave

Old man: Tighty-whiteys! Tighty-whiteys! Does anyone know where the tighty-whiteys are? (pause) If anyone sees any tighty-whiteys, let me know.

–Goodwill, Chelsea

Strung-out old lady: Call me! I'm going to church, I need to pray for all of us!

–Montague St, Brooklyn

Long-haired old guy riding bike very slowly, to no one in particular: I hate you.

–Thompkins Square Park

Overheard by: Eli