Archive for 2012

Wednesday One-Liners Wish Gabriel Byrne Were Their Shrink

Girl to her workout buddy: I met someone amazing, he's charming, educated and bipolar…

–Palladium Gym, NYU

Overheard by: isis

Guy to stranger next to him: Hey, what's your stop? Where do you work? I'll walk with you there. I want you to introduce me to some people. I'm new in town. I suffer from schizophrenia. Are you a counselor? I need counseling.

–2 Train

Overheard by: Richard

Woman on phone: I swear to god, that concussion she got has driven her out of her mind.

–12th St & 3rd Ave

White woman with hoodie, approaching famous actor: Ohmigod! Ohmigod! You're the Asian guy from SVU! You're the shrink kind of actor! Right!? Ohmigod! Can I have an autograph for my son, he really loves the show and he's in college for psychiatry.

–Grand Central Station


Wednesday One-Liners Bring Up the Rear

20-something girl on phone: So I said, stick it in my arse and then we'll talk business!

–Central Park

Overheard by: Ken Adams

Drag queen: Give me a bathroom, a bar of soap, and some lube and I'm good to go. Hold my cheeze doodles.

–2nd Ave

Cross-dresser, stumbling down steps with man out of apartment building: That really hurt my ass!

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: D

20-something hot girt to friend: We're not even Facebook friends… She can't just be talking to me about anal beads.

–PATH Train


Wednesday 3…2…1…**LINERS!!!**

Woman, as she approaches taxi with Sikh driver: Oh my god! I hope he's not a suicide bomber!

–LaGuardia Airport Taxi Line

Student to another: Bye! You're the bomb dot com!

–Fordham University, The Bronx

Middle-aged blonde: I know the European hotels have the plug in the bathroom for US hairdryers, but they explode anyway.

–Midtown

Black tourist kid: Who gets on a bus chanting "bus gas explosion!" anyway?

–Broadway

Overheard by: Clearly you haven't been to Georgia's Japanese classes

Confused All My Children fan: What are they gonna do? Everyone in the town just leaves? It's a story; they have to do something. Blow the whole world up?

–42nd St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Katrin