Archive for 2012

…Who Are You Raping Lately?

1 coworker behind a partition: I like your new beard.
2nd coworker behind partition: Thanks, I look like a magician who rapes, I'm a rapey magician.
1 coworker: I haven't seen you in a while.

–the office building, 50th and 6th

Overheard by: pantsy

To the Smartphone, Batman!

Preppy kid to fellow preppy kids: "oh, man, I didn't realize jet li was still alive!"
Preppy friend: "who?"
Preppy kid: "you know, jet li. That asian… Karate… Guy."
Preppy friend: "you mean bruce lee?"
Preppy kid: "… No…"

–Queens-bound R Train

Overheard by: Kate

Partial Credit

Little boy #1: Can I get a what what!?
Little boy #2: What?

–116th and Lexington Ave, laundromat

Do You Enjoy Cunnilingus?

Enthusiastic girl: Hi! I'm in your class. Can we be friends?
Burn out boy: … Yeah I guess.
Enthusiastic girl: Can we study together?
Burn out boy: Sure…
Enthusiastic girl: Great! What are you doing right now?
Burn out boy: Uhh…

–Bleecker St. and Mercer St.

Overheard by: Bruce Lee

Bitches Got Issues

Woman with puppy to guys on stoop: Next month we're putting her in the dog therapy program at jacobi hospital.
Guy: (taps his head) to make sure she's okay?

–Wilkinson Ave

Overheard by: francyne

It Was Beyond the Pale

Lady #1: Whatchoo doin this weekend.
Lady #2: Omg we’re goin to hunkamania for my girlfriend’s bachelorette.
Lady #1: Omg we went a month ago and I gotta tell you stories. I ate, like a 5 course meal off this hunk’s tan ass.

–Broadway and Wall

A Marriage Made in Manhattan

Subway anouncement:… Thank you for riding witb mta…
Loud guy on train, joyfully: You're welcome! You are so welcome!

–6 train