Archive for 2012

Another Born Social Climber

dad has young son on shoulders, mother is walking with them.
Dad to young son
: Hey! What are you doing? You're doing it again!

Mother: What? What is he doing?
Dad: He keeps trying to climb up my head!
Dad to son: There's no more neck for you to climb kid! Don't you get it?

–115th St. and 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Bruce Lee

Hell Is Other Countries

Girl with indiana h. S. Hoodie: So once we saw the brazilian soccer team in the airport and I asked my friend if brazil was in africa.
Boy she's trying to impress: {looks on stunned}.
Girl: I mean, they look the same! ::: Giggles:::
Boy: What the hell?
Girl: I mean, I did bad in geography because mr. Hughes hated me.
Boy: {mumbles something inaudible}.
Girl: Well I mean, I got all a's.

–JFK airport headed to Europe… or Africa?

Overheard by: A Galas

Hilarity Ensues

Businessman #1: He should know it's not a good idea to get ridiculously lit when you're responsible for babysitting six kids.
Businessman #2: Yeah, I mean, you might have to drive to the hospital.
Businessman #1: Yeah. Especially since you've given them all golf clubs.

–Shake Shack, Madison Square Park

…So He'll Have Killer Legs and an Oscar Nod?

Pretty girl:
Wow fact of the day thats super depressing : Matt mcconaughey now weighs only 20 lbs more than me. Fml.

Guy friend: He's also playing an aids patient.
Pretty girl: Oh.

–40th and 6th

Overheard by: Dan

Same Time Tomorrow?

the following exchange took place between two drivers. Not sure what occurred before I heard this.
Middle-aged white male
: "hey, asshole! You didn't get there any quicker did you?!

Thirty-something black female: "shut the f*ck up before you catch a heart attack you old bastard.

–W. 114th St. between Amsterdam and Broadway

Never Trust a Kid Who Tells Her Real Age

Woman: When will you be 9?
Little girl: Well first I'm gonna be 8 and a half, then 8 and two quarters, then 8 and one quarter, then 8 and three quarters and then 9!


Overheard by: Peter G

You Want Fries With That?

Jewish-american man turns to his waitress (in broken spanish): "I need a spanish girlfriend for 3 months"
Waitress: "we don't have that on the menu"
Man: "but I'm getting divorced and am going to be very lonely soon, plus I need someone to speak spanish to."

–Katz Deli

Where Even the Italians Speak Yiddish

Cute waitress: I'm here to talk to you all about dessert.
Southern boy: I'm here to talk to you about schtupping.
Cw: Um…
Sb: You know what that means, right?
Cw: I'm from long island.

–Elegant Midtown Restarant