Wednesday One-Liner’s Parents Used the TV as a Sitter

Hard hat: This is my idea, okay? Seriously, don’t try and steal it, because I think I can make this happen. Ready? The Fab Five visit Dog the Bounty Hunter’s show, and they give Dog and his whole crew a makeover.

–Construction site, 26th & 6th

Overheard by: Big Perm Black aesthetician, discussing Flavor of Love: I know that show’s gonna set my people back 50 years, but I just gotta watch it.

–Staff room, NYC Day Spa, 57th between 5th & 6th

Overheard by: massage therapist lurking nearby Jock: Last night we were so wasted we got naked and mounted the ram….and then watched Fraggle Rock. –Rose Hill Cafeteria, Fordham College student: Watching Dawson’s Creek is like studying for the SATs. –St. John’s University Nerdy teen: Oh my God, a refrigerator with a television in it. My life’s dream has just been realized. –Best Buy, 23rd & 6th Overheard by: nicolette Amateur media scholar: It’s not called Lost because they’re lost. It’s called Lost because the audience can’t follow it. –R train 20-Something guy to his date: But if you don’t have a television, how do you watch porn? –Koi, 40th & 6th Overheard by: UniqueNY

A Woman's Right to Wednesday One-Liners

Angry black woman: Why these motherfuckers always wearing "right for life" buttons, philosophizing and shit?

–Dallas BBQ, Brooklyn Heights

Overheard by: Mike H

Student: Aborting your baby is so boring now. Everyone does it.

–Bard High School Early College

Drunk loud teenage Latina: Ladies and gentlemen, I am a minority and I have never had an abortion!

–N Train

Overheard by: g-lime

Man on cell: Oh… Oh shit… Well, can't you just take a wire hanger and pull it out? Yeah, just stick the hanger in and pull it right out! Okay? Okay. Bye.

–Staten Island Ferry

Overheard by: marge

Fabulous gay guy: So, my coworkers at Olive Garden all wanted to go out for a picnic one day. Our one friend had to work though, so we told her to tell our boss she needed to go get an abortion and she actually did it!

–Life Cafe, Avenue B & 10th St

Overheard by: Rachel W.

*Points to Nose*

Guy to friend: No one is good at charades. Even the person with the highest score doesn't remember how they got there. If you have something to say, then say it! Unless, of course, your name is Mattel, Milton Bradley… etc.

–18th St