…to Relax Our Throats.

Girl #1: Oh my god, I would never buy a foot-long hot dog. I mean, really. Who would buy one?
Girl #2: (silence)
Girl #1: No girl should eat one, and no guys will, either. You know what I mean?
Girl #2: I guess. They're higher in calories, but whatever. Eat less later.
Girl #1: No. I mean, a girl can't be seen eating a foot long hot dog. Neither can a guy. I mean, think about… blowjobs!
Girl #2: Oh! Well, so what? If I'm hungry and it tastes good, who cares? I don't care if you're thinking I'm chomping down on a foot-long cock. And, what, you haven't sucked a 12-incher before?
Girl #1: No… Do you want Bud or Bud Light?

–Concession Stand, CitiField

At least she’s honest

A young girl selling M&Ms on the A train: “Hey, I’m not here for no basketball team or anything, but if ya’ll want to give me some money, that’s cool.” Note: she got quite a few sales, as well as a guy’s number

Mrs. Paisley Lacks Self-Knowledge

Wife pushing stroller: You don't put patterns in patterns. You just don't. It's a basic design rule.
Exasperated husband: Marilyn.
Wife: You just don't do that!
Husband: Oh, come on, Marilyn.

–13th St & 4th Ave

Overheard by: Don Willmott