Guy: So let me get this straight. First, you sleep with my brother, then you get pregnant, then– –LES Partially Overheard by: Matty Sallin
Guy: Of course I’ve drank kerosene. But it wasn’t like I used a cup, though. I used a siphon. –Astoria Overheard by: Stephie Russell
Dad: So what did you learn in school today?
Son: Ummm…a tomato is a fruit.
Dad: What? A tomato is a fruit?
Son: Yeah, cause it has seeds.
Dad: You’re telling me a tomato is a fruit? Is a pumpkin a fruit?
Son: Yeah, they have seeds.
Dad: What about a cucumber, is that a fruit?
Dad: What about a squash? A zucchini? You know what I think? I think you’re the fruit!
Son: No, I don’t have seeds.
Dad: …I’m not going there. –Grand Central Overheard by: Rehey
Yuppie: I just really hate the Garden State mentality. –West Village
Guy: Success is always coming between us. It’s always been that way, and will continue to be that way. –Pay phone, Cobble Hill
Woman #1: I think it’s a lion. See? That’s its eye, there’s its tail.
Woman #2: I think it’s a frog.
Woman #1: Really? I don’t see that.
Woman #2: I mean a very surrealistic frog. –MOMA Overheard by: Peter Anthony Ryan
Customer: A hot coffee, please.
–Starbucks, 28th & 3rd
Maxim staff #1: Yeah, we’re going to make you walk around in a plastic bubble or something.
Maxim staff #2: …NO, that is not THE RIGHT KIND of herpes!
Maxim staff #3: Is there a RIGHT kind of herpes? –Midtown elevator
Man: I directed a show at a musical theatre awards dinner last night. All the great, older musical writers were there: Kander, Ebbs, everyone. You should see their wives. They’re gorgeous.
Woman: They have wives? I thought they were gay.
Man: Oh, no. They’re Jewish. –LES
A man hands a woman a brochure for erectile dysfunction. Man: I’m not only the president, I’m also a client. –MetroNorth Train Overheard by: Mark