Says She's Through Fellating Strangers

Girl #1: The last time we went out she paid for her own drinks.
Girl #2: She pays for her own drinks? Eww, who does that?
Girl #1: I know!

–Crate & Barrel, SoHo

Overheard by: Akiko

Some Wednesday One-Liners for You to Chew On.

Girl to boyfriend: Well, I don't know what kind of cult they're in, but they make the best waffles.

–Union Station

Overheard by: Chunky Jesus

Guy on phone, loudly: Yes! Make the soup! Make the soup! If you don't, I simply don't know how I'm going to spend the weekend! (long pause) Wait, what? Don't you use words that are longer than five letters when talking to me, young one!

–Q Train

20-something: He once tried to deep-fry an orange.

–Bar, Midtown

Overheard by: Adam

50-something yelling on cell: Yeah… I figured out we were at the movies, I was just wondering who brought the asparagus.

–Fairway Market, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Antny

Woman looking in her sandwich: This is absurd!


Dude, I Went to High School With Wednesday One-Liners

Dude: I almost ran over Eliot Spitzer yesterday.

–66th St & Broadway

Howard Spira on cell: If I go to the funeral, it'll make more news than Lindsay Lohan.

–The Bronx

Overheard by: the boss of nothing

40-something on cell: Zac Efron is the new James Dean.

–Universal News, 14th St

Overheard by: Jeff

Male Fordham student: I want to send howlers. Like I'd love to just send Rush Limbaugh a howler.

–Fordham University

Man to male friend: You know I think you're a handsome guy, but if Judy Dench were a man…

–Hale & Hearty

Overheard by: Lana