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Wednesday-One-Liners Will Be Held in the Station Momentarily...Thank You for Your Patience
Conductor: There are seats towards the back of the train.
Keep walking! Sometime today, people. What did you stop for? Keeeep walking!
--Train to Grand Central
Overheard by: Muffin
Conductor: Where's the other guy? Raj, if you can hear me, you can come pick up your My Little Pony from the booth.
--LIRR, Hempstead station
Subway station announcement: Because of an earlier incident, all trains are now running.
--Union Square Station
Overheard by: E Moran
Conductor: This is 36th Street. Step to the side and let all the monkeys off the train. Let the monkeys off the train.
--Queens bound N train
Conductor: Ladies and Gentlemen, this is an extremely crowded F train. Next stop is Jay Street, and by this time it's official, every person in New York is on this train. Please stand clear of the closing doors, if you can.
--Coney Island bound F train
Overheard by: F Train Sloper
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, the next stop is 59th Street. And if you haven't voted and are thinking of voting for Bush, please see the movie Fahrenheit 9/11. Thank you. Stand clear of the closing doors.
--4 Train, 42nd St
Overheard by: Jonny
Conductor: You have yourself a satisfying Thursday.
--F train
Wednesday One-Liners Have 23 Intelligence, but 6 Charisma
Fat college guy on cell: I only read books with robot insects on the cover. If it doesn't have robot insects, I slap a sticker on. Pride and Prejudice? Robot insects on the cover makes it better.
--Metro-North
Overheard by: Ferry
Guy to friend: Look, the root of the problem is that you have a shrine dedicated to semi-colons in your closest! I don't care if they're the god of all punctuation marks, that's just weird!
--Stuyvesant High School
Metrosexual: I'm fairly certain that I've read every single fantasy series that has dragons in it.
--Stuyvesant Town
Overheard by: Karin
Ghetto chick: Nah, all I'm sayin's is that even if you look like Steve Urkel, as long as you got the brain of Steve Urkel, you good with me.
--Jamaica-bound F train
Overheard by: Floyd
Leader of pack of teen boys dressed up like Star Trek characters: I didn't say it was a good planet...
--Tuxedo Renaissance Festival
Overheard by: Murray
Wednesday One-Liners Burn, Baby, Burn
Queer: Hanging out with him is like doing charity work.
--Christopher & Bleecker
Overheard by: J. Ann
Ghetto girl to thug: You can't touch this. Keep reminiscin', mothafucka.
--106th & Columbus
Overheard by: Shmoop
Guy on cell: I'll be real with you, man. I know more than you. I know a lot more than you.
--17th & 5th
Altruist: He's really nice so I just fake it sometimes.
--Elevator, 120 Wall St
Overheard by: Aubrie
Teen girl: She did what? Oh my God, she is, like, so off my top 8.
--1 train
Queer: Well, I do like the person you want to be.
--Washington & Charles
Loud chick: Who knows how he lucked out into marrying her? I'm just always thinking, lady, you are hot, and yet you married an Ewok.
--Starbucks, 71st & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Ebert and Roeper at the Wednesday One-Liners
Woman, watching Jet Li movie preview: I won't see it. All they ever do is hop around, and I have no idea what's going on.
--AMC Theatre, W 42nd St
Overheard by: Jason
Slow learner: Yeah, we just got out of Miami Vice...Yeah, I've seen it twice. Trust me: do not see that movie!
--42nd between 9th & 10th
Overheard by: Ash
Young woman: When I went to see Snakes on a Plane, I didn't think there'd be snakes! On a plane!
--Regal Cinemas, Union Square
Tween boy: After seeing that movie, I have to say: Johnny Knoxville is the most suicidal person next to Jesus.
--C train
Overheard by: Dirty D
Ticket taker, directing people to theater: Go out the window and take a left.
--AMC 25, Times Square
Overheard by: L
Blonde girl: Isn't Short Circuit the movie with R2D2?
--Rooftop party, W 43rd
Overheard by: Esther
Guy in very crowded train: It felt like Schindler's List for a second there.
--7 train
Overheard by: giants fan
Whatever Happened to Randy Newman?
Dad: What's this movie about? Squirrels?
Son, sarcastically: Yeah, evil squirrels. That's why they call it Happy Feet.
Dad: I get my kids' movies confused. But they all have a hedgehog. [About hip hop song intro] Those aren't lyrics -- he's just rhyming.
--Lincoln Plaza IMAX
Wait, Are You Describing the Movie or the Party?
Dude: I saw that movie at that sex party -- the one where Jim got a blowjob by a chick that was not his girlfriend.
Chick: Oh my god, that sounds awesome -- I love it already!
Dude: I know, it's awesome!
--LaGuardia & W 3rd
What Drug Could Make That Interesting?
Thug #1: Yo, what we gonna do today?
Thug #2: Do like my man in Big Daddy do -- we go to the park and watch people trip over shit!
--Shuttle to Times Square
Overheard by: MC
You Got All That from Happy Feet?
Chick: I liked it. It wasn't like, 'Aw, too bad, it's the Holocaust.' It was more like, 'Yeah! The Holocaust!'
Friend: Plus, it didn't make me feel guilty about thinking Nazis are hot.
--AMC Theatres
Overheard by: Kelly
Like Picasso, Our Views on Art Will Never Be Accepted in Our Day
Punk girl #1: Man, the Metro said Spider-Man 3 sucked!
Punk girl #2: Yeah, I know, girl... The Metro says everything sucks. All movies suck according to it...
Punk girl #1: But Spider-Man 3 was amazing!
Punk girl #2: I know! The Metro also said You Got Served sucked... What the hell was up with that?
--Stuyvesant Town
The Penis Mightier Than the Wednesday One-Liners
Small girl, pointing at an advertisement for Little Man: Look, Grandpa! He looks like a little man!...He has a huge penis!
--189th St
Braggart: My penis is heavier than a full-sized gruyere cheese.
--Red Hook
Guy dressed as a penis, on cell: If you don't get down to 14th and 6th in another 5 minutes, this is one dick you are not going to see!
--14th & 6th
Overheard by: Madhu Maganti
Guy: I'd give an inch of my dick for the fries at Les Halles. They're that good!...Ok, maybe half an inch.
--Park Avenue & 29th Street
Overheard by: 11221
Teen boy on cell: Hey, it's Big Daddy! You know, Big Daddy! You showed me your penis ring last night.
--Times Square
Overheard by: laura
Woman: Aaah! I've got baby penises in my eye!
--Sephora, Times Square
Girl: Ooh, she is going to be in so much trouble. She got caught smoking cock.
--Bed-Stuy
Hey, Syd! Do We Have to Pay Corpses Scale?
Woman: Oh, he looked so old and sick in that movie. Really horrible.
Man: You know he died, right?
Woman: Oh, they must have made the movie before that.
--NJ Transit train out of Penn Station
Overheard by: confabulation nation
That Way, Meryl Will Be a Lock after Oprah's Two Terms
Girl #1: The Devil Wears Prada is like, the best movie ever made.
Girl #2: Oh, totally. Meryl Streep's character was fabulous in that!
Girl #1: Dude, Meryl Streep should run for President. No, wait. Oprah should run for President, and Meryl Streep should be Vice President.
--86th & Lex
His Mom Says It's to Die For
Girl: I've never had venison before.
Guy: Order it. You can taste Bambi. You can taste the innocence. And the fear.
--"A" Restaurant, Columbus Avenue
Hollywood Exec: Say That Again!
60-ish mother to two kids: There are two movies playing we should go to before they stop showing them -- Casino Royale and Apocalypto Now.
Kid #1: Uh, yeah, Mom.
--PATH train
Overheard by: Serene Demeanor
Or the Last Viking Unicorn?
NYU bimbette #1: Yeah, see, I totally think there's something fishy about Dumbledore's death -- especially his funeral. Like, why was he buried out at sea?
NYU bimbette #2: He wasn't. He was buried at Hogwarts.
NYU bimbette #1: Wait... Am I thinking of First Knight?
--Union Square
Overheard by: Felony
If Wednesday One-Liners Can Make It Here, They Can Make It Anywhere
Chick: Nothing says New York like a wire frog.
--Battery Park
Lady who has loudly complained to the waiter about the poor service: It's people like that who give New York City a bad name.
--Lindy's, 7th Ave
Overheard by: joemikehap
Amateur anthropologist: Of course I have a snarky attitude! I'm a New Yorker; it's practically a requirement!
--F train
Overheard by: Braincurve
Tourist on cell: Yeah! I'm in New York! Yeah, it's kinda like New Orleans, except bigger and you can't drink in the streets.
--Grand Central
Man on bicycle: New York is about freedom! Suck a dick!
--Astor Place
Overheard by: Laura
Guy watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre trailer: See, that's why I never leave New York. You never see crazy motherfuckers like that in New York...except for niggas on the train.
--Regal Cinemas, Court St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Clitoris Rex
Little girl: There's a lot of people in this New York City!
--Times Square
Seems the Rancor is Alive
Dad: Do you think I want to talk about princesses 24 hours a day?
Little girl: No.
Dad: What do you think I want to talk about?
Little girl: Star Wars.
--Rector & Greenwich
I'm Totally Getting a Beeping R2D2 Vibrator
Gym chick #1: I ran a whole half-hour today.
Gym chick #2: A whole half-hour?
Gym chick #1: Yeah, you know why? 'Cause Star Wars was on and it was so good I couldn't stop watching.
--YMCA, Park Slope
Overheard by: Jedi Master
Nothing Natural About Healing the Dead
Worker on phone: Good afternoon, Ms. Swank. We'd like to congratulate you on your recent Academy Award, and ask you to stop by and pick up your copy of Natural Healing.
--The Strand
Wednesday One-Liners Go to the Flicker Pictures
Guy to L. Ron Hub-tards: So, if I sign up with you, how long do I have to offer people stress tests before I become a movie star?
--Union Square
Gangsta teen: Yeah, A Clockwork Orange. You seen that shit? They taped his eyes open and made him watch rapes and shit. I would have ripped that shit off my eyes, man -- fuck that. I'd blink my motherfucking eyes regardless.
--Penn Station
Overheard by: I do, too
Hipster: Actually, I don't watch movies. I watch films.
--The Village
Blonde: Wasn't Newsies a documentary?
--Deluxe, 114th & Broadway
Overheard by: McFreaky
Queer on cell: So, it's not just like one of those regular bestiality films...
--E 9th & 1st
Movie buff: Yeah, I thought Seabiscuit was a good movie until I realized it was about a horse.
--Starbucks
Overheard by: pokemaul2k4
She Never Goes to the Mattresses
Chick #1: She's never seen Titanic or The Godfather.
Chick #2: That's why she can't get laid.
--LaGuardia
Where Rosie Perez Was a Joy Forever
Woman looking at designer sunglasses in store window: A thing of beauty is a joy forever.
Man in pea coat: My man John Keats said that. John Keats, that's my man.
Woman: Where do you know that Keats line from?
Man in pea coat: White Men Can't Jump.
--87th & 3rd
Overheard by: Geez
Well, Nobody's Perfect
Teacher: Who remembers Some Like It Hot?
Student: Isn't that the one where in the end they're all on a boat and it blows up?
--Cinema Studies class, NYU
Overheard by: Andrew Jacobs
Wednesday One-Liners Report to Hindquarters
Angry black woman to white man close behind her: Son, you got a lotta ass on yo' dick right now.
--Dense crowd, 4th & 6th
Overheard by: jealous?
Guy to friends: I'm not a one-ass guy, even if it is my own ass.
--26th & 8th
Large black man: I'm grabbin' booties, so all y'all better move outta my way!
--37th & 7th
Overheard by: daniel
Ghetto fab guy: Well, tickle my ass an' call me Mary Poppins...
--85th & 2nd
Overheard by: Mitorizu
Dude: My ass likes to eat things.
--76th & Broadway
Overheard by: Hew, the bird
Suit: Now there's an ass you could rest a loaf of bread on!
--Time Square
Crazy preacher: Lust is a sin. Women, don't show your butts to men -- cover them up, or the seven last plagues will cover them up for you.
--6 train
Overheard by: Zavreio
And I've Got that on VHS, So It's Cool
Dude #1: Did you get that video yet?
Dude #2: No. Besides, my DVD player is broken.
Dude #1: No shit! Dude, that sucks.
Dude #2: Sure does... But not really -- there aren't too many good movies, anyway.
Dude #1: Yeah, just Predator.
--Locker room
She's Just Marking Time Until Bettie Page
Teen girl: I wonder what Marilyn Monroe does in her spare time.
Teen guy: Lie in her coffin?
--2 train
This nigga on Overheard
Thug #1: We don't even go to the movies or nothin'. She just comes over to smash it and then she leaves. She knows, too. She just comes over for some pipin'.
Thug #2: That's where it's at.
Thug #1: She got a 10-year-old li'l nigga, too. She knows not to ask for somethin' serious. That li'l nigga in fifth grade! That nigga on MySpace!
--Houston & Suffolk
Overheard by: Rhymes With Lasagna
Headline by: ja
Runners-Up:
· "...And "To Catch A Predator"" - Stuck in the MidWest
· "He Comes Over for Some Pipin' Too." - Courtney
· "I Just Have to Wait for Her to Be in Eigth." - Snark Sloper
· "That Li'l Nigga Gots Roast Beef and This Li'l Nigga Gots None." - johnnyb
· "The Nucular Family" - Bill
· "The Waltons, 2007" - G'night, John Boy
Click here to see the new Headline Contest
March of the Penguins Affects Everyone Differently
NYU student #1: Ew! That movie was like porn!
NYU student #2: I don't know why we watched that in class!
NYU student #3: Disgusting!
--Outside lecture hall, Silver Center
Un Film de Wednesday One-Liners
Russian guy on cell: I went to see Saw III. Best movie ever -- the girl in front of me fainted in the beginning of the movie! Five minutes into the movie she just fainted, and her boyfriend started calling for help. I called an ambulance, they took her away... That movie was awesome!
--Brooklyn-bound Q train
Overenthusiastic male student: Oh! I met Borat! He goes to NYU, right?
--Hunter College
Guy to everyone in theater: Shhh, I'm recording this!
--Movie theater, Court St, Brooklyn
Blonde: Yeah, so I watch Brokeback Mountain like it's my Bible. I hang on every word, 'cause I really want to know how gay people talk.
--Times Square
Overheard by: Stina
Guy on cell: 28 Days was just stupid. Zombies aren't like that. Dawn of the Dead is the most realistic portrayal of zombies I've ever seen!
--Grand Central
Overheard by: Philip Niosi
Chick to hipsters: I did my first autopsy to The Wizard of Oz.
--The Village, near Mulberry
Overheard by: DC Diva
I Don't Think Andy Dick is a Fan
Girl: I may be misinterpreting Rocky Horror Picture Show, but what gay man doesn't love a movie about singing transvestites? These queens are so picky.
--30th and 5th
Overheard by: Megan Buckley
How Awful If You Were Looking for Cameron Diaz!
Little girl pointing to a poster of The Phantom of the Opera: Look, Mommy! The Mask!
Mom: No, sweetheart, that's The Phantom of the Opera. Mask is a movie with Cher.
--Trader Joe's
Overheard by: Alyson Leigh
Who Rides in a Short Bus under the Sea?
Kid #1: Seriously?
Kid #2: Yeah, seriously.
Kid #1: Seriously?!
Kid #2: Yes, seriously.
Kid #1: Seriously?
Kid #2: Yes! Seriously! Gosh, you're acting like SpongeBob!
--St. Catherine's Elementary, Brooklyn
Overheard by: rpk
Headline by: Rock Bottom
Runners-Up:
· "...or Alberto Gonzalez under Oath." - JC
· "Actual Script from Laguna Beach" - Jeremy
· "Dude, You've Been Watching Too Much SquarePant's Anatomy" - Breanne S.
· "How Serious Can Spongebob Be If Spongebob Could Be Serious?" - Philip
· "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter - Test Campaign #34" - Paul Sheiman
Click here to see the new Headline Contest
Tales from Wednesday One-Liners' Crypt
Man on cell: What are you, some sort of reverse vampire?
--C train
Dude: And there were unicorns exploding in the background... or at least doing whatever it is unicorns do.
--Live Bait, 23rd St
Overheard by: Matthew K Johnson
Chick: You kind of look like a vampire in this picture. But a cool vampire! Like, if you were in The Lost Boys, Kiefer Sutherland would totally want to have sex with you.
--55th & 6th
Overheard by: wants to have sex with Kiefer Sutherland
Drunk hobo chuckling: You people look depressed! I know how to cheer you up. I'll sing my favorite song! 'Ding, dong, the witch is dead, the witch is dead...' [Looks around] Hmmm... [Notices the train going express] What the...? I need a new mathematician! I need a new mathematician!
--6 train making express stops on a surprise basis
Overheard by: Barry Negrin
Sax-wielding hobo: I am an alien! From outer space! Not from Mexico!
--L train
Overheard by: Alex P. Keaton
Ricky's employee: Looks like I'm all out in the fairy department.
--58th & Broadway
Mom: Johnny, put down the sword. Vampires don't use weapons. Their teeth are their weapons.
--Halloween shop, 8th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
This Gives Gandalf's 'Is It Secret? Is It Safe?' a Whole New Meaning
Chick: If I could sleep with any of the hobbits, it would have to be Frodo.
Guy: What?! Frodo is a total fudge packer.
Chick: Please don't call him that!
Queer: Especially in front of a fudge packer!
--Barnes & Noble, 54th & 3rd
Overheard by: Willowee
She's Bipartisan, But It's Just a Phase
Girl: Are you a conservative or a liberal?
Guy: I know all teenagers are supposed to be liberal, but I'm pretty conservative.
Girl: Oh my god, I know exactly what you mean. I was conservative until last week when I saw V for Vendetta. How hot is Natalie Portman?
--Bronx High School of Science
Wednesday One-Liners Are Potty Trained
Girl on cell: What? What do you mean? What do you mean your audition is gonna be in a bathroom?
--42nd and 10th
Overheard by: dk
Hurrying lady: ...and a urinal cake is worth fifteen points.
--43rd & 8th
Overheard by: Casper
Gay usher, loudly: Sex just isn't the same when you're constipated.
--Daryl Roth Theatre, Union Square
Hipster girl: So I just said to him, "Bye, I have to go now. I have diarrhea!"...Diarrhea is like the anti-aphrodisiac.
--Brooklyn bound F train
Woman on cell: Did you just say that you had a dream where Gene Wilder peed in your closet? Like, Willy Wonka, pissing on your clothes? Okay, I just wanted to make sure I heard correctly.
--Penn Station
Overheard by: baffled
Dude: Nah, I wouldn't piss on someone if I didn't know them.
--Bar, Queens
Man, to woman having trouble with the bathroom door: Oh come on, you fucking cunt, work the damn door. Big fucking place like this, they got only one bathroom, I am fucking pissing on the floor. I will piss on the damn floor. That's my fucking right as an American. I'm a patriot. Patriot, that's an adverb. An action adverb. Mrs. Riegell told me in third grade if you have a syllable you've got an adverb, and I got a damn syllable, so damnit, I'm pissing on the fucking floor.
--Virgin Megastore, Union Square
The Secret Comedian Cells Spring Into Action
Woman: It's a pity about that actress who stabbed someone with her knife. What's her name? ...Um...Reese?
Chick: Witherspoon?
Woman: No! With her knife!
--Central Park
Overheard by: Emilia
Suit #1: I know where we are.
Suit #2: Where?
Suit #1: On the corner!
--9th Street & 1st Avenue
Overheard by: Your Mom
Guy: Excuse me, can I tell you a joke?
Girl: ...What?
Guy: Can I tell you a joke?
Girl: ...No.
Guy: Are you su--
Girl: Didn't you fucking hear me, you idiot?
She gets up and starts walking away.
Girl: Jesus Christ, these fucking...
--Central Park
I Can Send You to a Blockbuster, but I Charge a Finder's Fee
Chinese lady hawker: DVD! DVD! DVD!
Southerner lady: Do y'all have The Sound of Music?
Chinese lady hawker: New DVD only! Charlotte Web! New James Bond!
Southerner lady: They just get everything first in New York, don't they? So... Y'all don't have The Sound of Music?
--Canal St
Overheard by: Miss Megan
She Missed the 'Evolution' Series on NOVA
Eco-Friendly ghetto girl: You saw Incovenient Truth? We gonna be underwater in, like, 50 years.
Laconic ghetto girl: Word?
Eco-Friendly ghetto girl: Yeah, we gonna be fish one day.
--92nd & West End
"Things That a Wife Would Say"?
Guy #1: Alanis Morissette wrote a song called Under Rug Swept? That's like Dylan Thomas! Wait, no, that's Under Milk Wood.
Guy #2: I have officially fired you from talking.
--Starbucks, 8th Avenue & 15th Street
If Only Some Genius Could Combine the Two
Father: Did you enjoy the movie, Angela?
Six-year-old daughter: Yeah.
Father: Was there lots of action?
Six-year-old daughter: Yeah.
Father: There are two things that make a good movie: action and sex.
--Montague & Clinton St, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Laura
There Go the First Two Rules
Drunk guy #1: Let's start the East Village Fight Club.
Drunk guy #2: I'm in.
Drunk guy #1: The only rule of this particular fight club is you have to let your victim know you are beating the crap out of them for being too hip.
--7B, Avenue B
If Wednesday One-Liners Did It
Woman on cell: Are you really surprised that Marcus turned out to be a serial killer?
--Times Square
Overheard by: shex
College dude on cell: No, the entire male species is going to die, remember?
--Times Square
Overheard by: glad i'm a girl.
Aviator-wearing rocker wannabe: Dude, seriously, think about it. Why aren't there more serial killers?!
--Union Square West at 16th St
Guy: You know, I pray for the days when I find bodies...
--Lorimer St & Metropolitan Ave
Columbia newspaper reporter: Dude, you can't just kill one person and be a serial killer. You have to work up to being a serial killer.
--Columbia Spectator Office
Overheard by: And you know from experience?
Cashier to friend: Yeah, there's this couple that comes in every week and rents serial killer movies.
--Brooklyn Video Rental Store
Overheard by: tiff
Conductor: Thank you for riding MTA, and remember to smile. You'll confuse the people who want to kill you!
--L train
Overheard by: Paige
At Least Nobody Felt the Need to Sing
B&T woman #1: Did you see Three Days of Rain?
B&T woman #2: No, what was it about?
B&T man #1: A stutterer fucks Julia Roberts.
B&T woman #1: Pay no attention to him -- he's a Neanderthal.
B&T man #2, leaning in and whispering: Does he really?
--Sardi's Restaurant
Overheard by: Big Larry
Wednesday One-Liners: Too Busy to Acquire Social Skills
Virgin-For-Life: Clark Kent and Kal-El are the same goddamn thing, Joey! We are not having this conversation again! Jesus Christ! I'm going home!
--Coney Island
20-Something Virgin-For-Life, noticing guy with Superman t-shirt: Look! That's who I wanna be when I grow up! Clark Kent! Imagine just taking a suit off and becoming a superhero.
--Empire State Building
Overheard by: Guy With Superman t-shirt
Virgin-For-Life: The intestinal epithelium is my dream tissue.
--Albert Einstein College of Medicine, the Bronx
Overheard by: Joshua Drumm
Virgin-For-Life: He's really sharp. He's like the head of Voltron.
--23rd between 5th & 6th
Wednesday One-Liners Are Real, and They're Spectacular
Suit: ... But then I'd just be one big, walking boob!
--Grand Central
Overheard by: uh what?
Hipster chick: Oh my god, I know! Chad told me I have to show him my boobs before we graduate, and that's, like, only a month away!
--118th & Broadway
Overheard by: sapphirebluemica
Ghetto tourist man looking at Maidenform billboard: Breasts! Breasts on a billboard!
--35th & 7th
Overheard by: Moses
19-year-old girl: I am not leaving here without black ballet flats and breasts.
--Bathroom line, Macy's
Little boy: Look, Mommy, Shrek has titties!
--AMC, Bay Plaza
Overheard by: Mel & Damee
Boyfriend to angry girlfriend: I didn't say you had an awkward body! I said you had awkward breasts!
--Camp, Cobble Hill
No, That's the Guy Who Did Lord of the Cock Rings
Guy #1: Yeah, he's a pretty good director... what's his name again? The hobbit guy?
Guy #2: Uhhh...Peter something...
Guy #1: Yeah, Peter North! I love that guy's movies.
--AMC Empire 25, Times Square
Wednesday One-Liners Used to Go to Meow Mix
Girl: This friend of mine, her cat killed an endangered bird... in Germany. They had to bury it, like, three feet underground.
--Queens-bound E train
Overheard by: Collegiate Cutie
Dude on cell: I saw Tim Burton on an interview the other day, and I said to my cat, 'Snicket, behold a man who has never yet combed his hair!'
--AMDA entrance
Overheard by: McKinley's Friend
Girl: And her cat and my cat are, like, really close...
--BX26 bus
Guy: I mean, I don't even eat cat...
--14th St & 5th Ave
Guy to friend: No, cocaine. Cats really like cocaine!
--Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: Kerri
No, that's New York Minute
Girl #1: Isn't that the Princess Bride?
Girl #2: No, that's Frankenstein.
Girl #3: That's not Frankenstein, that's his wife.
Girl #1: Then who's the Princess Bride?
Girl #2: Isn't that the one with the skeletons?
--Ray's Pizza, St. Mark's & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: someone who knows there were no skeletons in that one
I Think She's Watching You
Kid #1, looking at the Mona Lisa on Da Vinci Code poster: Hey, look! It's her again!
Kid #2: Who is this lady? She's everywhere!
--Downtown 1 train
Overheard by: d.grace
Curtis, Do You Think We're... Gay?
Man #1: That's the second Korean movie that has ever made me cry.
Man #2: Oh, yeah. Lots of 'em do. I mean, if you see enough of them, a lot of them do.
--12th & University
Overheard by: James
Surely He Meant Our Publisher
Hobo: You are very beautiful...you look like a movie star. Like Morgan Freeman.
Girl: Huh?
Hobo: Er, no, Morgan...Fairchild. Yeah, Morgan Fairchild.
--Bedford Ave. station
How Hollywood Hurts Our Youth
Kid on stool: Mom, can I jump off and be Naaaaaaacho?
Mom: You already broke your arm. You can't be Nacho right now.
--Duane Reade, 96th & Broadway
Wednesday One-Liners Start a Love Train
Student: I just always assumed everyone's love of integrals.
--John Jay Hall, Columbia
Dude: I had her up against the wall and was all like, 'Jimmy cracked corn,' and shit. She was lovin' it.
--A train, 42nd St
Overheard by: Ilyse
Man: I did scream, 'I love you Lindsay Lohan!' when I saw her at the costume thing, but that's just 'cause everyone else was.
--20th & 5th
Man on cell: No, not that Jim. The Jim who loves acid and foie gras.
--Metropolitan & Union, Brooklyn
Overheard by: liza
Conductor: I know you've heard of the love boat. Well, this is the love train.
--Metro-North
Overheard by: Mark Schilsky
Guy to girlfriend at table of friends: You just love my average-sized cock!
--3rd & 2nd
Overheard by: Chuckles
'Weird Jedis' Is Like 'Gay Queers' or 'Bored Security Officers'
Out-of-breath Star Wars fan: Hey, do you know where the 3 pm light saber fight will take place?
Bored security officer: I dunno, but it should be over there. That's where all the weird Jedis are hanging out.
--Big Apple Comic Book Convention, Penn Plaza Pavilion
Overheard by: PoisonIvy
Something Dimwitted This Way Comes
Guy: ...so he digs stuff like Fahrenheit 451 and all--
Girl: "451"? Er, 9-11, you mean.
--Park Slope
Overheard by: Cap'n MidNite
And For You, Lion, I Have Some Overpriced Coffee
Guy: Well, it's about what we think would happen if there was a Starbucks in the land of Oz.
Girl: Wow!
--Grand Saloon, 23rd between 3rd & Park
Wednesday One-Liners for C. Montgomery Burns
Black guy: And in this movie, Leonardo DiCaprio was the most selfless guy ever -- all he cared about was money.
--Jackson Hole, 91st & Madison
20-something exasperated chick on cell: It's a little something I call the hundred and fifty bucks I have to pay once a year! It's a little something called my rent!
--W 10th & Waverly
Overheard by: I call it that too
Geek: Have you ever pictured someone swimming in a pool of money? Do you know how much that would hurt?
--54th & 10th
Overheard by: Allisa
Mom to little daughter picking up garbage: Don't pick up stuff off the street... unless it's money.
--14th & 2nd
Suit: ... And they find him in Brussels with one million dollars in his suitcase.
--Chambers & West Side Hwy
Overheard by: Mike McG
Conductor: Attention, passengers, the power for this line has shorted out. Track workers are coming down to reset the breaker. We should be delayed for 15 to 20 minutes. A buck fifty -- you get what you pay for.
--PATH train, stuck under the Hudson
VP: I certainly don't want you to think it's all about money, because it's not -- it's mostly about money.
--Office, Park Ave South
She'll Be Here All Week
Woman: Hey, when's that movie Snakes on a Plane ever gonna come out?
Old man: What? What's that?
Woman: Maybe it's just a joke. Like the "L" in Samuel "el" Jackson's name. I think that's a joke too, like, what is he? Samuel "the" Jackson?
Old man: Who's that?
Woman: Just eat your hot dog, dad.
--Central Park
Overheard by: Kershinator
Bison Burger Up for Mr. Polanski
Waiter: Would you like to order now?
Man: No, I'm waiting for my sister.
Waiter: You said before that you were waiting for your wife.
Man: No, I didn't. I said it was my sister.
Waiter: No, you didn't.
Man: Would you like to be in movies?
Waiter: No, why?
Man: You have a really nice speaking voice. You should think about it.
Waiter: You really think so?
Man: Yeah. I make movies. You should give it a try.
--Lyric Diner, 22nd & 3rd
"Oh man! I already got the genie pants!"
Teen boy #1: Yo man, I'm gonna join a gang!
Teen boy #2: Ah, ya? What gang?
Teen boy #1: Aladdin Kings.
Teen boy #3: What the fuck kinda Disney gang is that? Latin Kings, man! Latin Kings!
--A train
And Schindler's List Has Nudity!
Mother: We need to find Sound of Music for your brother.
Child: No! I want to watch Star Wars.
Mother: You can watch this. It has Nazis!--Kim's Video, Morningside Heights
Headline by: J Laks
Runners-Up:
· "And Bambi's About Guns" - dei
· "And Then We'll Watch Rent. It has lawyers!" - Nick V.
· "But Cover Your Ears During "My Favorite Things"; I'm Not Ready to Expose You to That." - manisha
· "Gene Siskel Declares: 'It's a Gas!'" - erak
· "Hayden Christensen's Acting Caused Far More Deaths, Though" - s himself
· "Now Put on Your Swastika Armband; We're Going to See Grandpa" - phil
· "See, Sweetie, Your Brother's Not Gay; He Just Advocates White Supremacy." - LC
· "The Promotional Tagline That Never Quite Made It..." - Julie Holt
Click here to see the new Headline Contest
Although She Also Told Me Shrooms Are Just Mushrooms with LSD Sprayed On...
NYU guy proposing Mary Poppins as a Rocky Horror-style sing-along: It'd probably be fun to get drunk and go to one of those.
NYU girl: I don't know...
NYU guy: Well, that's what my oboe teacher said.
--Washington Square
Overheard by: fifi
"The guy who publishes Overheard? Really?"
Woman #1: Guess who I sat next to at dinner last night?
Woman #2: I have no clue. Jimmy Fallon?
Woman #1: No. Denzel Washington!
Woman #2: Omigod!
Woman #1: I know, I love him!
Woman #2: I loved him as God in Bruce Almighty. That was him, wasn't it?
Woman #1: No, that was Morgan Freeman, you dumb fuck.
--45th Street 7th & 8th
Clooney Claims Another Victim
As the credits for Syriana roll:
Woman: I think that movie outsmarted me.
Man: Yeah, I think the movie won.
--AMC theater, Lincoln Square
Overheard by: Allison
Unlike Explosive Time Travel
Guy #1: You know if you went back in time and saw yourself the world would explode and collapse.
Guy #2: No way, man. Didn't you ever see Back to the Future?
Guy #1: What? That's not real!
--27th & 7th
Overheard by: Corey Cavagnolo
She's Thinking of The Pelican Briefs
Teenie girl: Omigod! Idea! Do you want to go rent a movie?
Her much older boyfriend: Sure. Have you seen The Firm?
Teenie girl: What is that, like a porno?
--Hershey store, Times Square
Overheard by: Just wanted some gummy bears
"Or Daddy's hentai?"
Little girl: Mommy, what's this?
Mom: Japanese art. You know, like in Mulan.
--The Met
Why Isn't Blood Red an Easter Color?
Woman: Oh, look at these.
Man: They're Easter colors.
Woman: I thought they were Shrek colors.
--Staples, Vesey & Broadway
Overheard by: Susan
Two Kilos? She Wishes
Black guy: Two for Akeelah.
German girlfriend: What? What are you buying? Two kilos for what?
Black guy: No. Akeelah.
German girlfriend: I don't understand. Two kilos of what? That makes no sense.
Black guy, rolling his eyes: No! Akeelah! Akeelah!. Akeelah! Two for Akeelah!
German girlfriend: I still don't understand.
Black guy: Akeelah and the frickin' Bee!!!
German girlfriend: OHHHHH!
--Union Square Stadium 14, Broadway & 13th
It's Going to Be One Long Yom Kippur
Guy #1: So how was your Rosh Hashanah?
Guy #2: I got a blowjob at a movie theater. Since I was watching Flightplan does that count as mile high?
--23rd & Lexington
Overheard by: dan levin
Stupid Diversity
Scraggly white dude #1: What's The Host? I want to see that shit.
Scraggly white dude #2: What about this one -- The Wire?
Scraggly white dude #1: Nah, I don't like all that black people, drug dealing, hip hop shit.
Scraggly white dude #2: Yeah, me neither -- like that movie Jungle Fever.
--F train platform
Overheard by: Leif
His Favorite Is The Two Towers
Hipster girl #1: Why would someone tell you that right after meeting you?
Hipster girl #2: Honestly, why can't you just say your favorite movie is The Lord of the Rings instead of Lord of the Rings porn?
--Bedford & South 2nd, Williamsburg
My Money's on Julie the Horse-faced Girl
Crazy guy: Jodie Foster is a top notch actress!
Girl: Okay.
Crazy guy: Julia Roberts is going down!
Girl: Are they going to fight?
--Shubert Theater, West 44th Street
First You Make a Zombie Out of a Deaf Composer...
Girl #1: Do you know what movie is playing tonight?
Man: Phantom of the Opera.
Girl #1: Oh!
Man: It's the 1926 silent version.
Girl #2: How do you make a silent movie from a musical?
--Propect Park Bandshell
Even Ebert Didn't Catch That
Man: Is Tom Hanks married to Rita Wilson?
Two women: Yeah.
Man: Is that why they called the Volleyball "Wilson" in Cast Away?
--97th & 5th
Overheard by: Rob Dobrenski
The One Who Doesn't Know Her Place
Little girl: Do you have HBO DIRECTV?
Little boy: I don't know.
Little girl: If you have HBO, you do. My favorite movie is on there: Titanic. It's about a girl who loves a boy and they're all frozen at the end.
Little boy: Who gets slapped?
--F train
Overheard by: stephanie k
Stranger Things Have Happened on Endor
A couple walks by holding hands, a tall man and a short woman.
Chick: What's with the Wookie-Ewok love?
Guy: Dude, that's harsh.
--13th & University
Girl: You know her, she's making stuff up again!
Crazy woman: Hey! Did you just call me Chewbacca?
--1 train
Overheard by: poptart
Overheard Goes to the Midnight Premiere
Stormtrooper: Man, I can't even move in this thing.
Star Wars geek #1: They said no dueling.
Star Wars girlfriend: No lightsaber duels?
Star Wars geek #2: No, the're no lightsaber dueling in the theater.
Star Wars geek #1: But they're dueling.
Star Wars girlfriend: Yeah, but he's Yoda.
Lady: Look, I've been saving this seat since Attack of the Clones.
Dude: Cool lightsaber.
Dork: Thanks.
Dude: Where'd you get it? Geek.com?
Dork: No. Borders.
--Ziegfeld theater, 54th Street
Nerd: At this point, my expectations are so low, as long as Darth Vader's in it and a lot of people get killed, I'll be happy.
--Ziegfeld theater, 54th Street
Overheard by: Todd Seavey
Fanboy: That was great. Now all we need is the technology from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind to erase the first two.
--Ziegfeld theater, 54th Street
Overheard by: Jaybill McCarthy
Signs of the Apocalypse
Girl #1: Hey are you going to go see The Da Vinci Code?
Girl #2: Yes! My pastor said it was alright as long as I watched The Passion of the Christ right after.
--Midwood High School
Overheard by: the half jewish kid in the corner
Yeah, Really Base People
Man #1: Honey, we don't have to see Memoirs of a Geisha. You lived it, didn't you?
Woman: You just know the right things to say!
Man #2: Some people make me wish that snow outside was really acid.
--Loews 42nd Street
If She Remembers Thundercats, It's Time for Assisted Living
Girl: I can't believe they're making a live action Transformers movie.
Guy: Whatever, I will definitely go see it.
Girl: Are you even old enough to remember Transformers?
Guy: Of course, I'm only three years younger than you.
Girl: Yeah, but that doesn't mean you were old enough to be conscious of Transformers. My brothers are your age and they don't remember the show that well.
Guy: You do realize every time you ask me that it doesn't make me seem young, right? It just makes you seem old.
--26th & Madison
Overheard by: DL
Wednesday One-Liners Go to Mass
Guy: [something in Spanish]... how do you say "altar boy"? You know, the ones whose little dicks the priest sucks?
--7th & Ave A
Overheard by: Jenny B
Cut the Crap and Go Blow Each Other Already
Fratboy #1: Oh God, did you see that? That little Asian boy just fell down and skinned his Chi-knee.
Fratboy #2: Think he was running from Godzilla?
--Central Park
Overheard by: Matt Murdock
The Self-Loathing Is Also Strongly Suggestive
Jewish boy: If I wasn't Jewish and saw Passion of the Christ, I'd walk out of the theaters screaming, "Let's kill those Jews for killing our Lord and Savior!"
Black woman: Boy, you shouldn't be goin' 'round screaming that.
Jewish boy: Um, but I am Jewish.
Black woman: How am I 'sposed to know that?
Jewish boy: By the fucking thing on my head and the fact that I keep checking for my wallet every second I'm talking to you.
--Brooklyn College
Overheard by: David
Wednesday One-Liners Have a Doctor's Note
Chick to another: She's a weed-smoking, modern orthodox girl. I mean, I don't think she goes to her rabbi's high, but...
--Brooklyn Museum
Overheard by: cole
Professor: ... So the art department on the set just smokes pot all day and paints blue boulders.
--Media Productions class, City College
Mini thug: Yo, I wouldn't even have to be high out of my mind to enjoy this shit!
--Brooklyn Cyclone, Coney Island
Overheard by: Alie
Smoking model on cell: Um, yeah, he's cute... But, duh -- he's addicted to opiates!
--Houston & Laffayette
Overheard by: Jake
Hobo to girls: How are you smiling in a city filled with a million crackheads?
--56th & 5th
Guy on a rant in front of Imagine mosaic: In my next life I want to be an amoeba! Make more music, smoke more pot... Eating healthily is expensive! We should all have 40 acres and a mule and start all over!
--Strawberry Fields, Central Park
Overheard by: I'll have what he's having
Subway Base Jumpers Plan the Ultimate Video
Yuppie #1: I told James I could do it, but it would be better if I worked my way up to it.
Yuppie #2: Gotcha. You think I should film it? I guess I could always delete it...
--Q train
Overheard by: Ben Couch
Wednesday One-liners Have Cool Spiny Backs and Tiny Tiny Brains
Woman: That movie's so stupid! They got King Kong and the dinosaurs fighting even though they are from different centuries.
--Mama's Pizza, 106th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Kyle T
Teen girl: You know, I don't think I even believe in dinosaurs.
--Starbucks, Astor Place
Overheard by: Paul
Overheard Hops on the General Lee
Lady: The only film that Jessica Simpson belongs in is a snuff film.
Guy: Now that shit would be a blockbuster!
--Sony Lincoln Square, 68th Street
Overheard by: Casey McKendrick
Man #1: I don't recognize any of the actors in the new Dukes of Hazzard movie.
Man #2: There's one guy who all the kids know in it. He got famous on that show...what was it called?...Asshole.
--Park Slope
Now It's "Intentional"
Girl: I really enjoy going to movies by myself these days. Most of the guys I date, we don't have same taste in movies.
Guy: That's a great idea. Plus, you don't get some weirdo trying to
"inadvertantly" place your hand on his cock.
--L train
Overheard by: Vivian
The PATH Train at 33rd (A NYC Short Story)
Hobo: Where are you going?
Drunk guy: Bermuda. I'm connecting to the plane.
Drunk guy: Is that your cousin?
Hobo: Yeah!
Drunk guy: He didn't even say nothing to you. That's fucked up!
Hobo: My name is Peter. Peter Parker. I'm Spider-Man's father.
The hobo shows the drunk guy his bottle. The drunk guy takes out a can of beer and a bottle of whiskey
Drunk guy: So what? You trying to beat me? You started a competition and I beat you. I came prepared.
--PATH train
Overheard by: Tony Gabriel
Peter Jackson Only Does Documentaries
Guy: This remake of King Kong was a good movie; did you ever see the
original?
Girl: Yeah, I didn't know it was a true story.
--42nd & 8th
Yes, The Janitors are Our Future
Yuppie #1: It's just like in that movie, Good Will Hunting.
Yuppie #2: I never saw that.
Yuppie #1: What?! Dude, that movie's like the voice of our generation!
Yuppie #2: Whatever.
--Northeast entrance to Madison Square Park
Contrubuted by: Scott Nybakken
In a New York State of Mind
Woman #1: Don't you hate taking the train so early in the morning? I take it every day.
Woman #2: Could you not talk to me?
--A train
Overheard by: aida
"Or star in the sequel."
Queer on cell: They're only keeping Schiavo alive so she can see Million Dollar Baby.
--8th Avenue and 19th St.
Overheard by: J-MO
The Mona Lisa Just Burst Out Laughing
Guy: Hey, you seen that movie Grizzly Man yet?
Girl: No, but I really really want to.
Guy: Yeah, it's so good. Hey, you know they're making a movie about the bear guy? Already! And guess who's starring in it!
Girl: I dunno...
Guy: Leonardo da Vinci!
Girl: Who?
Guy: You know! Leonardo da Vinci! Leonardo da Vinci!
--New School elevator, 13th & 5th
Overheard by: Halli Civelek
Wednesday One-liners Starring Toothy Tile
Guy: Do you have Bareback Mountain?
--The Strand
Come on Home, Wednesday One-liners
Punk guy: You know somethin'? I could have been home right now, watching Gremlins.
--2nd Avenue between 6th & 7th
Overheard by: Tibbie X
Finishing Together Should Be Easy by Now
Very old lady to husband: You asshole! YOU ASSHOLE! I hate you.
Old husband: Wha?
Old lady: You didn't wait for me, you fucking asshole.
--Clearview Cinemas, 62nd & 1st
Well Baby, I Went Down and Got It For You
Guy: Hey, isn't that the painting from the Titanic?
Girlfriend: That is not even a possibility.
Guy: [looks confused] Well then, it's one of them. And look! It was made in 1917!
--Metropolitan Museum of Art
I Usually Bring a Dog to Translate
Girl: I was walking and there was a group of Dominicans talking on the corner and the only reason I understood what they were saying was because I've been listening to a lot of reggaeton.
Guy: They must've been talking about fucking someone.
--West 4th & Thompson
Overheard by: Angel V.
Yeah, Attack of the 5-inched Pipelaying Retard
Pipelayer #1: I need four more inches.
Pipelayer #2: If I had four more inches, I'd be makin' movies.
--Bergen Street station
How I Spent My Morning Commute, by Michael Malice
Italian sister #1: I was coming here and this man fell down the stairs so I helped him. He kept falling down and falling down.
Italian sister #2: Was he old?
Italian sister #1: No, he was Chinese. Middle aged man.
Italian sister #1: I've got that movie at home about the airport.
Italian sister #2: What? Oh, um, Terminal?
Italian brother: What's that?
Italian sister #1: It's got Catherine Zeta Jones and, um, what's his name?
Italian brother: George Clooney?
Italian sister #1: No, he was in Forrest Gump. What's his name?
Italian sister #1: She's proposing to her boyfriend. With a watch! And it's not even a Rolex, it's a Tag.
Italian brother: She's proposing to her boyfriend?
Italian sister #1: Yeah. If you're going to force your boyfriend to marry you, at least get him a Rolex. Plus she's fat and ugly. If guys don't propose, girls don't know what to do. So they go get a Tag watch!
Italian sister #2: Remember yesterday when that Chinese girl's phone went off and it was a cat? I was like, "Dinner calling!"
Italian brother: That was funny.
--D train
Think of It More as Jesus's Shot Glass
Girl #1: So the entire time i'm watching this movie, I'm like, what is the Holy Grail? They never explain what it is. And I'm thinking it's probably like, some kind of trophy or something...? Like maybe a fashion trophy...? Or something...?
Girl #2: Uh huh.
Girl #1: Yeah but no, it turns it out it actually has to do with like, Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene or something.
Girl #2: So it was like... Jesus's trophy?
--H&M dressing room, 5th Ave
She Admires Their Ability to Smear Their Foes
Lady lawyer: Hey, what animal year are you?
Boy attorney #1: The monkey, I think.
Boy attorney #2: Dude, chimpanzees freak me out after seeing Outbreak.
Boy attorney #1: That was a monkey, not a chimpanzee.
Lady lawyer: The thing I don't like about monkeys is their butts.
--Office, East 45th Street
They'd Love This at Metropolitan Diary
Man #1: Hey, did you hear they're remaking The Poseidon Adventure?
Man #2: Really? Are they going to get anyone from the original? Is Shelley Winters in it?
Man #3: Yeah. She plays the boat.
--Film Forum, Houston Street
Overheard by: JP
Super-size Me, Mr. Bond
Daughter: You're always humming that McDonalds song.
Mother: Huh?
Daughter: You know..."da da da da da I'm loooovin' it."
Mother: No, honey. Goldfinger. *Ba ra ba rum*
Daughter: Oh.
--Central Park
Wednesday One-liners Need Some Space
Bus driver: Move to the back of the bus. They're giving free diamonds in the back of the bus. See that lady in the back for your free diamond.
--M2 bus
Guy: I hate this city. You can't swing a dead cat without hitting a production.
--W 44th, near filming of Spiderman 3
Overheard by: Alex
That's Being Chi-curious
Girl #1: Wow. Akiva Goldsmith's really made something for himself...for a Jew.
Girl #2: God you're a racist.
Girl #1: What makes me a racist? I'm part Jewish.
Girl #2: An hour ago you asked me why all Asians look the same.
--Loews Lincoln Square, West 68th Street
Overheard by: Pop Iris
We're Considering Branding Wednesday One-liners
Woman: This is my favorite part...of the worst song ever.
--MTV Studios, Times Square
Man on cell: No, it is not like the time I farted at Target and blamed in on that old woman!
--22nd & Park
Overheard by: Bill Ray
Drunken yuppie guy: I want my Subway sandwich! I want my Subway sandwich! Tuna and onions! Yeah, you heard me. Girls love big cocks. Girls love big cocks! These girls know. I'm on...I'm on Comedy Central! I'm a redneck on Comedy Central! My name is Heywood Jablowme! Heywood Jablowme! Heywood Jablowme! I'm from Texas where girls suck cock for a dime!
--32nd & 2nd
Woman: Did you hear Cooter wouldn't endorse that remake?
--7 train
Overheard by: Todd Horan
Guy: God, I feel like I'm trapped in a fucking Hallmark Card.
--Central Park
Overheard by: Shoshana
Latina: ...and he looks evil and the Princess is saying to him, "You are a good person" and he looks so evil and then she is with Obi King Wasabi and he said he is on the dark side and then the shorty guy--what is his name?--Yoga said, "He is on the dark side" and then Dark Wader he is with the cape and looks all angry and evil reminded me of me on Mondays.
--58th & Lexington
Overheard by: Brandy Rowell
Wednesday One-Liners Don't Forget the Pipe
Girl on cell: But they're, like, professional crackwhores!
--Bedford Park, Lehman College, the Bronx
Man: I never misled my mother. I did steal from her, but I was on crack.
--Joralemon St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Chicago Guy
Girl: Did you see that movie Crackheads on Fire?
--14th & 8th
Lady: Now she's a big shot. She used to be a crackhead.
--Au Bon Pain, 8th St
Overheard by: the guy buying the SoBe Green Tea
Overheard Goes to the Cinema
Girl #1: He fine.
Girl #2: Who? Anakin?
Girl #1: Yeah.
Girl #2: Finer den Usher?
Girl #1: Nah, nobody finer den Usher.
--The Pavilion, Park Slope
Black guy: Yo, fuck the Jedi. It's all about the Dark Side. I'm the other Dark Lord you've been looking for.
--86th & Lexington
Overheard by: Joshua S.
Girl: Oh my god, all this time I thought I was a Buddhist, but I'm really a Sith.
--UA movie theater, Union Square
Overheard by: Lara Evangelista
Warning: Watching Hitch Has Been Shown to Cause Suicide in Laboratory Animals
Guido #1: What're you doin' tonight?
Guido #2: Goin' to a movie wit my girl.
Guido #1: Mm.
Guido #2: Goin' to see Hitch.
Guido #3: Hitch? Isn't that a chick flick?
Guido #2: I said my girl asked me to take her to a movie.
Guido #3: Oh. Alright.
Guido #2: I ain't seein' the fuckin' movie by myself.
--R train
Overheard by: bluesdog
Mel Gibson's Guide to Alienating Hollywood While Making 100 Million Dollars
Med student #1: Some people say that The Passion of The Christ doesn't follow the book.
Med student #2: What book?
--122nd & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Khalilah
Never Forget
Woman #1: God, that was so funny when all of those Nazis walked into the courtroom and their hairstyles were like Hitler's!
Man: Well, I mean, it makes sense, I guess. You know, people always copy famous people when it comes to stuff like that.
Woman #2: Yeah, like remember when I had that terrible Dorothy Hamill haircut?
--Houston Street station
Wednesday One-liners Need an MRI
Man on cell: Hello?...Yeah, I'm at the movies...Yeah, I know...I'm in the fucking theater!...I don't care if she needs brain surgery, I'm at the movies!
--Loews 19th Street East
What Would Wednesday One-Liners Do?
Teen boy: So I was watching one of those independent channels, and I saw this weird movie called Jesus Christ Superstar. Have you heard of it? It's from the 70's, so the camera work is really bad, but it's not in black and white or anything. The best part is that Herod is all big and fat and he sings this funny song, like, "You're the king of the Jews!" It's a pretty funny movie. You know, except they, like, kill Jesus at the end.
--Q train
Overheard by: A White Bear
Girl: You know, I don't think Jesus ever asked Mary Magdalene to kiss his balls.
--1849 Bar, Bleecker St
Drunk guy: Jesus saved me already, you fucking cunt!
--Park Slope
Overheard by: braincurve
Chick: Whatever. I could've annihilated Jesus at beer pong.
--Trump Building, Wall St
Overheard by: You know who
Girl on cell: Listen, the only ass I kiss is Jesus Christ. Got that?
--Key Food, 235th St
Overheard by: Miriam
The Trailers Will Go Down in History
Journalism professor: Can anyone, for extra credit, give me two words to describe this day that will go down in history?
Silence
Professor: I'll give you a clue -- it has to do with President Bush.
Random student: "Mission accomplished!"
Girl #1 to her friend: Mission Impossible? What does Tom Cruise have to do with Bush?
Girl #2: Yeah, I know, that movie isn't even out yet!
--Silver Center, NYU
God Will Never Fix Him Now
Crazy guy: I give you Jesus!
Blind man: Is that Mel Gibson? You nitwit!
--97th & Broadway
Gee, Where Did He Find Those Guests...
White chick #1: Whatever happened to Jerry Springer?
White chick #2: Yeah, remember when he was like, it? You'd see him everywhere.
White chick #1: Yeah, he made that movie and all.
White chick #2: I heard he's running for Mayor of Ohio.
White chick #1: Get out!
--Greenwich & North Moore
The News Has Gotten So Boring Lately
Stoner #1: Yo, why did newsboys used to shout "Extra!" when they'd sell papers?
Stoner #2: I don't know... maybe the news was about.. like... X-Men... like, mutants...
Stoner #1: Yeah... true... maybe.
--University & 8th
Overheard by: Alyson Leigh
Time for a New Wingwoman
Lady on train: What are you watching?
Overexcited man with portable DVD: The Da Vinci Code.
Lady: Oh! Cool! Is it good?
Overexcited man: It's EXCELLENT!
Lady: Oh -- I heard from people that the book was better.
Lady's friend: That's bullshit. She doesn't read.
--Penn Station, LIRR
Overheard by: Jordo VB
If They Had Kids, There's a Fifth Option
Girl: Think you'll be able to convince your parents to go see a movie or something over Christmas?
Guy: Not a chance. My parents are impossible to motivate to do anything.
Girl: Ah, I bet you could get them to at least try during the holidays.
Guy: I'm not kidding...They are completely exhausted by eating, sleeping, shitting, and working. That's all they have energy for.
--Tompkins Square Park
Overheard by: BBW
I Knew Something Was Up with That German Lady
Girl: I want to see that.
Guy: What's it about?
Girl: The war in Europe.
--West 4th Street station
Whoopi's Much Scarier (Happy Halloween!)
Girl: We watched The Color Purple on friday night.
Guy: Oh god. How about when Oprah Winfrey comes through that cornfield?
Girl: No shit. Now I know who I'm going to be for Halloween.
--40th & 9th
Well, It Was the Galaxy's Oldest Space-profession
Girl #1: So, Anakin is Luke and Leia's father, right?
Girl #2: Right, so who's Hayden Christensen? Who's the sexy guy; not the guy with the beard?
Girl #1: Wait, wasn't Anakin the kid in that scene with Jabba the Hutt, when he was with that ho?...Did they have hos back then?
--F train
Overheard by: Jess
Of Course, If He'd Said That about Clue I'd Have to Club Him
Theater fan: What would you say about a person who saw The Rocky Horror Picture Show only once and didn't feel any need to see it again?
Tim Curry: I'd say that was a person who was in full possession of their senses.
--Actor's Fund event, 52nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Big Larry
That's Because He Hadn't Found Jesus
Guy #1: What can I say? I'm a sucker for orphan stories.
Guy #2: Or something.
Guy #1: Think about it: I loved Lemony Snicket, Party of Five, Diff'rent Strokes, Star Wars.
Guy #2: Yeah. Wait. Luke wasn't an orphan.
Guy #1: Well, he sort of was, spiritually.
--34th between 7th & 8th
Overheard by: cityhick
That Makes Brokeback Seem Gangsta
Guy #1: I'm a gangsta. And gangsta people see gangsta movies. You go see that Hong Kong, King Kong or whatever.
Guy #2: What about In The Mix?
--AMC Empire 25, West 42nd Street
Overheard by: Nathaniel Taylor
If I Were Adam Sandler I Would Have Asked Satan for My Soul Back Circa Mr. Deeds
Man: Wow, you're here already? That was quick.
Woman: Yeah, if I was Adam Sandler I would have said, "That was click!"
--West 44th St
Overheard by: Tomer Langberg
Overheard in New York: The Movie
Girl: I am glad you don't think she's prettier than me.
Guy: What? She is like, trailer trash.
Girl: No, she's really pretty.
Guy: What are you talking about? She is some lady they found in the parking lot by the garbage. They were like, "Hey lady, we will give you $20 to do this."
Girl: ...she is like, the American standard of beauty.
Guy: She is a dumpster-diving prostitute!
--Access Digital Theatres, Prospect Park
Overheard by: matt stohrer
Guy: Can I just say, maybe Zorro shouldn't be the first American movie you see.
--83rd & Broadway
Little boy: Why didn't Harry Potter just take a shotgun and blow that guy's head off?
--Loews Kips Bay Theatre, 2nd Avenue
Overheard by: Mark Schilsky
Girl #1: Shh! I can't hear what he's saying!
Girl #2: Bitch, you read the book already!
--DGA Theater, West 57th Street
Black chick #1: Girl, he so fine.
Black chick #2: Mmm...
Queer: Yes, we all know he's fine, but shut the fuck up!
--AMC Empire 25, West 42nd Street
Overheard by: Scott Hoffman
Girl: So for the last half-hour of The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants I couldn't stop crying. Then everybody in the theater turned around and laughed at me.
--Waverly & Mercer
Overheard by: Stu
Guy #1: You still fixing vans for that production house?
Guy #2: Yeah, I even got in a movie. Check me out in Prime; it's with Uma Thurman. I'm in it for like 20 seconds playing basketball on the street with a red do-rag. I was like 30 pounds heavier then; I just got out of jail.
--DMV, Greenwich Street
Overheard by: Anthony Bloodsucker
Black woman: All these assholes going to the movies...Lowest common denominator!
--Loews Lincoln Square ladies' room, West 68th Street
Overheard by: Amanda K
Girl: I heard there's an Asian girl in the new Harry Potter.
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: So they are branching out.
Guy: Yeah...but she is kinda big.
--Beard Papa's, Broadway & Astor
Overheard by: sim choo
Girl: I am dating two different guys with kids and no one will take me to see Harry Potter. Now that's fucked up.
--Eatery, 9th Avenue
Overheard by: Mike
Suit: I think you would really like As Good As It Gets.
Woman: Is that the one with Jennifer Aniston?
Suit: No, it's Helen Keller.
--75th & 3rd
Overheard by: Aaron Hotfelder
You Know, Entertainment is Also Available in Book Form
White woman: Do you have a middle name?
Black guy: James. James Bond.
White woman: What?
Black guy: James Bond.
White woman: You're fired!
--Broadway & Cortlandt
Overheard by: Stephie Russell
I Hate It When They Forget to Rewind the Disc
Thug #1: I don't live in the VHS era.
Thug #2: Naw, they got DVD tapes now.
--J train
Overheard by: Anna
But You're Starring on Overheard!
Hipster #1: This guy keeps following me around trying to get me to be in his movie.
Hipster #2: Ugh, I would never be in a movie!
--The Coral Room, Chelsea
Overheard by: Magpie
Kylie is Spinning in Her Grave
Gay #1: Have you ever seen Road Trip?
Gay #2: What?
Gay #1: Road Trip. Have you see it?
Gay #2: Yes.
Gay #1: I wanna dance like that.
--LaGuardia
I was born yesterday
Recent college graduate #1: Have you ever seen an actual 8-track?
Recent college graduate #2: Yes, I've seen one--but I've never seen a movie on one.
-- Private apartment, Boerum Hill, Brooklyn
They Also Watch Their Kids Get Eaten
Girl: Hey, what's this about?
Guy: Uh, it's a documentary.
Girl: So they just march around?
--Borders, Time Warner Center
Overheard by: JHA
That's a Horrible Thing to Call Her
Queer #1: I should have known you had that one.
Queer #2: Yeah, I mean, I have every Barbra Streisand recording ever.
Queer #1: I shouldn't have gotten that for you; it was such a stupid gift.
Queer #2: No, I'll just sell the old one on eBay.
--1 train
Overheard by: Fatty McFingers
Deleted Scenes for the DVD
Drunk guy: King Kong ain't got nothing on God almighty!
Sober girl: Stop touching me, you dirty old man.
Drunk guy: I ain't touching you, woman.
Sober girl: I don't do trash.
Drunk guy: That's why I wanchu.
--Q train
Overheard by: Ted Danger, esq.
Wednesday One-liners Don the Magen Dovid
Girl: ...So I asked him, "Do you speak German?" and he was like, "The only German I speak is: men to the left, women and children to the
right." And I said, "Dude, you've been watching too much Schindler's List!"
--13th Street between 6th & 7th
Overheard by: Joe Quint
Nothing Quite as Cultured as Interjecting with a Slur
White guy: Alien vs. Predator was such a bad movie.
Black guy: Tell me something. Where do Alien and Predator come from?
White guy: What do you mean? They come from somebody's imagination, of course.
Black guy: No, I mean what movies they came from.
White guy: You are aware that there was a movie called Alien and there was another called Predator.
Black guy: Nope, never even heard of them.
Old man: Learn the culture, nigger!
--Q46 bus
Overheard by: Ting
Remember When He Threw Marco Polo to the Rancor?
Girl: Look at that guy! He's gross -- he looks like Attila the Hun.
Guy: What? He doesn't even look Asian.
Girl: Look how fat he is! He's waddling around just like Attila!
Guy: Tell me you don't mean Jabba the Hutt.
--Central Park
Overheard by: Paul
I Don't Care How Cheap the Gay Porn Is
Guy #1: I couldn't not buy it.
Guy #2: Yeah, I'm thinking about it too. It's totally worth it.
Guy #1: I mean, there are two real porn stars in it. If it was just one, I could have passed it up.
Guy #2: Yeah, man. But for that price, you almost have to do it!
--4th Avenue between 11th & 12th
Overheard by: Corinne Hears-All
He's Unsure Whether Skeletons Count as Siblings
Guy #1: ...and then I came in and Anne was watching some gay movie with Keanu Reeves and River Phoenix--
Guy #2: Who's River Phoenix?
Guy #1: You know, Joaquin Phoenix's brother.
Guy #2: Joaquin Phoenix has a brother?
Guy #1: I guess...
--A train
Look Out, Ringo: Girl #3 is Coming
Girl #1: Is there a movie version of Catcher in the Rye?
Girl #2: No, but a lot of films based on the concept.
Girl #3: I have always been so attracted to that character.
--M27 bus
I Hear He Has Warts on His Hog
Nerdy teen: Dude, I really want to see what Lord Voldemort looks like in the movie.
Friend: Yeah, man. I really want to see Lord Voldemort get naked.
Nerdy teen: Oh, yeah. Me, t-- What?
--Borders
When Even Nerds Get Age-Vain, What Chance Do We Have?
Pushing-40 nerd #1: Dude, the Matrix trilogy is like the original Star Wars trilogy for my generation.
Pushing-40 nerd #2: Whatever, man. Dude, you're, like, 38. The original Star Wars trilogy is the Star Wars trilogy of your generation.
Pushing-40 nerd #1: Fuck you.
--Javits Center
They Were Seeing Red
Chick #1: There was too much talking in that movie and not enough action.
Chick #2: Yeah. It was all like too much communism and shit.
--AMC Empire 25, West 42nd Street
Overheard by: Nico Westerdale
She Went to Hell Twice
Guy #1: I bought my dad a Clint Eastwood biography for Christmas. I feel like that's a pretty solid bet for any dad. Clint, Frank Sinatra, maybe Brando.
Guy #2: What about James Dean?
Guy #1: Yeah, I guess. What about that Vin Diesel?
Guy #3: You are seriously obsessed, dude.
Guy #1: Don't hate on the Diesel. Ooh, you know who everyone loves? That Anne Frank.
Woman: Anne Frank was a lesbo.
--The Strand
Revenge of the Shit Opens Tonight
Girl: That's so scary.
Boy: What?
Girl: The third rail.
Boy: Teah.
Girl: That should be like a movie title or something.
Boy: Third Rail...I should put that in my notebook.
--Trinity School, W. 91st Street
Overheard by: Alexis
NYers: What Do You Think of Sin City?
Guy #1: It was artsy, girls don't like that.
Guy #2: How is it artsy? He ripped off a guy's nuts!
--Loews 34th St. men's room
Overheard by: Dan Dickinson
Dude: I thought it was great. Very visually arresting. I liked how they stayed true to the visual style of the comic book. Of course I say that having never read the comic book.
--Regal Cinemas Union Square
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Well, It Sure Isn't Herbie: Fully Loaded
Surrounded by four teenage girls, Matt Dillon can only ask: Do you even know what a movie is?
--86th & Columbus
NYers on the Issues: Hunks
Chick: I love his mole. It's like Matt Damon...he has a mole.
--Starbucks, W. 4th St.
Chick: I think it's sexy that he went to art school.
Her two friends start laughing immediately.
--Jane, Soho
Overheard by: Tamika J.
They Have to Recruit, Because They Are Seldom Able to Reproduce
A small boy on the bus is flicking a flashlight.
Boy: Laser!
Geeky guy across the aisle: I think that's shaped more like a light saber.
Boy: Light saber!
--M104 bus
Overheard by: Andrew
The O'Reilly Factor, for Instance
Drunk #1 in video booth: There's so many movies to choose from!
Drunk #2: I think I'm in a gay booth.
Drunk #1: This one's from the point of view of a dick!
Disembodied voice: Isn't everything?
--Peep Show, 8th Ave
Overheard by: just passing through
I Hear Jigsaw Loves Self-Destructive Gym Bunnies
Young woman: I really want a boyfriend who is mean, who can say that, "I'm gonna kill him" and then looks down at his hand, and that laughs.
Older woman nods.
Young woman: You know, like those villians in movies with that grin, not the crazy ones who laugh but the ones who grin.
--NYU gym locker room
Effects Are Amazing These Days
Nebraska girl #1: It feels like it's raining.
Nebraska girl #2: I think it's coming from the set.
Pause
Nebraska girl #3: Where's it coming from?...Oh, it's actually raining.
--John St., near filming of Spiderman 3
Overheard by: Fishy
How You Can Tell If Bums Are Just Very Dirty Hipsters
Hobo: I want to fuck you someplace fairly uncomfortable.
Hipster: Did that bum just quote Mallrats?
--Orchard St
And There's Nothing Worth Stealing in There
During trailer for horror movie where young girl peeks in door of creepy house and says, 'Hello?'...
Thugette: Why they be goin' into some abandoned-ass house like that?
Thug: 'Cause they white.
--Court Street cineplex, Brooklyn
Overheard by: MrStench
Bigotty Sense Tingling...
Five-year-old: Daddy, I don't wanna see Spider-Man 3.
Dad: Come on, why not?
Five-year-old: I hate the black Spider-Man.
Hobo: That child is racist!
--Loews cinema, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Hobo has a point
The Hutts Staff the Post Office
Conductor: This is a Manhattan bound N train. The next stop is Grand Avenue.
Guy #1: Ha, ha, ha! Yo, listen up! Darth Vada's running da train!
Guy #2: Dat's some funny shit, man.
--N train
"Yeah, the second Jaws 2: Jaws 3."
College guy #1: Yo, do you know who directed Jaws 2?
College guy #2: Yeah. Oh wait, you mean the second one?
--23rd & 3rd
Overheard by: Matthew Pollock
Wednesday One-liners Hate Those Big Corporations
British chick: Now not only do I have to blow up Bank of America, I now have to blow up Macy's.
--27th Street office
Teenage girl shaking her fist: Fuck you Duane Reade! Gah!
--76th & Broadway
Overheard by: Chella
Woman: I feel like I'm in eastern Europe. This Duane Reade is ghetto.
--Duane Reade, 23rd & 6th
Woman: So I was like, "Move your hand! What is this, Cinemax?"
--Times Square
But The Elves Are On It
Guy #1: Oh shit! Santa's World!
Guy #2: For real? That shit is off the chain!
--Broadway between 23rd & 24th
Overheard by: Jon Feinstein
Mr. Roeper, If You're Reading This: We're Sorry.
Boy: My top scary movie of all time is The Shining.
Girl: Oh my god you guys, the scariest movie I have ever seen is Event Horizon.
--Williamsburg
But without the Licensing Deal with Kenner
Dude #1: ... And it had this sort of feeling like the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Dude #2: What's the Rocky Horror Picture Show?
Dude #1: It's, ummm... The Rocky Hor-- Hmmm. It's, ummm... It's just like Star Wars but for transvestites.
--10th St, between 5th & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Eli... NYU design dude
Maybe He's Thinking of the Times Square Arcade
Guy #1: I told you we shoulda gone to Manattan.
Guy #2: No way. I don't see movies in Manhattan.
Guy #1: Why the hell not?
Guy #2: They shoot people there. It's all silent than someone shouts something and then everyone is shooting. It's scary.
--In line at Stadium 12, Court Street, Brooklyn
What's the Catch?
Chick #1: We can watch Lackawanna Blues tonight.
Chick #2: I can't watch another black movie. I watched one last night.
Chick #1: What'd you watch last night?
Chick #2: Hitch.
--Office, Wall & William
It Gets Hard Once the Numbers Hit 20
Tween boy #1: There's an excellent movie that's rated R but should be rated PG-13. It's producted by Stephen Cow and it's called Kung Fu Hustle.
Tween boy #2: I've only seen one R-rated movie.
Tween boy #1: I've seen so many I've lost count.
--Uncle Liao's, Park Slope
The Overheard Story Writes Itself
Girl: Mom, are you drunk?
Mom: Uh, maybe.
Girl: You're going to rehab today! Grandma is going to be here any minute.
--55th & 6th
Overheard by: William Yam
Woman: This is very Desperate Housewives.
Man: Or Rear Window.
--40th & 9th
Overheard by: Linda Miller
The Culture of Wednesday One-liners
Woman on cell: I don't think people know why they go to museums. They mostly go so they can tell their friends later, "Oh, yeah, I went to the Metropolitan today."
--West 53rd between 5th & 6th
Suit: Foie gras? You've got to be kidding, it's not even in season! I don't have the money for that! I just spent $50 on boxers!
--34th & 5th
Dude: I can't respect a guy who does capoeira.
--University & 14th
Overheard by: Kim
Reporter: She saw a Pauly Shore movie and that made her want to join the Army? Wow!
--Daily News offices, W. 33rd Street
Woman: Remember, you break it you buy it.
--Fine china section, Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: jen wik
The Movie That Made New York What It Is Today
Man, slamming on hood of taxi inching forward: Hey! I'm walkin' here! [Turns to people behind him] Where's that from?
Lady passerby: Midnight Cowboy!
--50th & Broadway
Heavily Rumored to Be a Biplane
Guy #1: So apparently, Jodie Foster loses her daughter on this, like, plane that she designed.
Guy #2: Whoa, really?
Guy #1: Yeah, and it's supposed to be like the biggest plane ever built.
Guy #2: Wait, Jodie Foster in real life?
--Cantor Film Center, E. 8th Street
Overheard by: Emily Pearle
From the Whitney Houston Collection
Queer eye: Lindsay Lohan wore this dress on the cover of Teen Vogue; ever since then, it's been like...crack cocaine.
--Marc Jacobs, Bleecker Street
Overheard by: Mat Triebner
I'm Going to Scream Real Loud
Guy #1: Did you watch your Pee Wee's Playhouse last night?
Guy #2: It didn't come!
--27th Street office
She Used The Rules to Line Her Bird's Cage
20-ish guy: So, I should just ask: Can I come in and fuck your brains out?
20-ish girl: You don't have to be all Tarantino about it, but yeah.
--44th & Broadway
Overheard by: Esther
Because They're Keeping Score
Thug #1: ... And I was like, 'Damn, baby. I just bought you some pizza, we're about to see a movie -- is it really imperative that I buy you the Justin Timberlake CD so you can listen to it tonight?'
Thug #2: I know what you mean dog. My girl was beggin' me to buy her that new Akon shit.
Thug #1: Why can't bitches just be happy?
--116th St station
Which Reminds Me -- We Need to Shop for Staples
Yuppie: You know, that's a very expensive beer you're not drinking.
Girlfriend: Can't we have one night where you don't quote American Psycho?
Yuppie: Oh, he bought her Chardonnay. Don't worry, I'm not a Chardonnay guy.
Girlfriend: Whatever. Just don't nail-gun me in my sleep tonight. Again.
--Iggy's on Rivington
Charlie and the Cigarette Factory
Suit #1: You know what movie they're filming over there?
Suit #2: I think it's a snuff film.
--Maiden & Water
Overheard by: Angry Oscillations
Overheard in the Headlines
Man: My friend asked me if they were shooting a movie, and I said,
"Yeah, it's called Bombscare."
--Astor Place
He's a Dick Wolf Fanatic
Tour guide: The school campus has been in many film and television productions, including The Good Shepherd, Law and Order, and most notably the classic Debbie Does Dallas.
Big Midwestern dad: I thought I recognized that library!
--Pratt Institute, Brooklyn
Overheard by: PrattStudent09
And All Those Michael Moore 'Documentaries'
Guy #1: Are you gonna go see Saw 3?
Guy #2: Nah, I'm not into movies like that.
Guy #1: Why not?
Guy #2: I'm more into dramas -- you know, movies where you can actually believe that what's happening is real. Like Superman.
--Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Don Willmott
Well You Didn't Want to See Dumb and Dumber
Black teen #1: Yo, let's go see Blood Diamond.
Black teen #2, with African accent: No, I told you -- I don't want to see that.
Black teen #1: What are you talkin' 'bout, don't wanna see it? Nigga, you're in it!
--Loews, Lincoln Center
We Are Wise to Avoid Things That Cause Us Pain
Tourist: Are you shooting a movie? Is that what all this is for?
Production assistant: Yes.
Tourist: Which movie? Is it a new one? Who's in it?
Production assistant: It's a new Adam Sandler movie. It's called--
Tourist: --Oh. Never mind. [Walks away.]
--Columbus Circle entrance to Central Park
Overheard by: Sweaty running boy
Is There Anything Julie Andrews Can't Do?
Law student: I learned in my International Law class that diplomats can park wherever they want and not get ticketed.
Friend: You had to go to friggin' law school to learn that? I learned that from The Princess Diaries.
--Dean & Deluca, SoHo
Bill Gates is the new Brad Pitt
Martha Stewart is on a tabloid cover.
Hipster: Did you know she's now on that Forbes list?
Sunglasses at night girl: The one with rich people?
Hipster: Yes.
Sunglasses at night girl: She's not even a movie star.
--Key Foods, Williamsburg
Yet Another Reason to See the Pirates Director's Cut
Angry girl: Your boner does not have super powers.
Dude: Yes, it does!
Angry girl: It won't even point us in the right direction.
Dude: I never said it could do that.
Angry girl: You're no Captain Jack Sparrow.
--W 3rd & Lafayette
Overheard by: danger
You've Got to Go Down to Aquaman Before You Even Find a Black Villain
In line for opening night show of Superman Returns.
Passerby: What's this line for?
Black dude: Man, everybody wants to see Supercracker.
--4th Ave, between 13th and 14th
Overheard by: Potomac
Just 'Cause She's Short and Drinking Stout?
Friend #1: What did he just say to her?
Friend #2: He said that she reminded him of a character from the movie Beauty and the Beast.
Friend #1: What? Did he say she looked like the Beauty or the Beast?
Friend #2: I dunno but I think that she looks like the teapot.
--Maritime Hotel
Overheard by: Noel
With Great Power Comes Great Irresponsibility
Thug #1: Man, it's Spiderman!
Thug #2: Ask him if he real.
Thug #3: If he's real, why he be in front of Toys "R" Us, nigga?
Thug #2: I dunno -- maybe he don't got a movie to be in right now.
--Toys "R" Us, Times Square
Tough Talk from a Girl Who Paid to See The Lake House
Chick with headset directing sidewalk traffic: Excuse me. Please cross the street here... You can't pass here...
20-ish chick: What are you guys filming?
Chick with headset: Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2.
20-ish chick: Hahaha! That shit sucks! Hahaha!
--E 8th St & University Pl
She's Probably Hearing the Siren Song of the Catholic Church
Fag hag: So, how's your hot cousin?
Queer: He's dating this girl now... She's cute, tall... Looks like Katie Holmes -- has the same look on her face.
Fag hag: What look is that?
Queer: You know -- sad.
--Nederlander Theatre
Overheard by: Crazy Legs Freddy
I'll Never Get a Rich New Daddy with a Bloated Mommy
Mom: Do you want to watch Over the Hedge when we get home?
Four-year-old boy: Yeah! But we can't have popcorn. We already had popcorn today and it would be too much salt.
--LIRR
Overheard by: Dahlia