Archive for the ‘9 to 5-ers’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Breathe through Their Noses

Black girl on bluetooth headset: You want everyone to suck yo dick, dontcha? Dontcha?! You want everyone to suck yo dick! –W. 59th & 9th Ave Overheard by: Alexandra Twelve-year-old guido, near tears, doubled over in the street screaming on his cell phone: You sucked Charlie’s dick last night, you blow job! You sucked Charlie’s dick last night, you blow job! –Brooklyn 20 something blonde on cell: … Is that normal? [Pause.] No, it’s different every time, like it almost disappears… Then another time its all swinging and shit… Is that normal? [Listens.]Oh no! Thats just fine, like it gags me when … [Mumbles.] –LIRR Manager to employee: You are a cock guzzling thundercunt! –Chelsea Gay guy, to his friend: I mean…I may suck dick but at least I don’t take it up the ass. –16th & 9th Woman: Short of blowing him in MoMa, I really don’t know how to get his attention. –A Train Overheard by: Why MoMa?

Sure, Lisa, Some Magical Wednesday One-Liner….

Dude with chick to group of smokers outside bar: We are going to eat pork chops and fuck. –Bleecker and Crosby Gay male on cell: …Do you really think I would try his sausage balls? –53rd St & 8th Ave Budget Vin Diesel: I love bacon. If I could, I would put bacon in my cereal. –Sunburnt Cow, Avenue C Overheard by: LeahPia77 Hispanic deli worker: Es muy barato, como la carne de gato. –10th & Broadway Overheard by: Anna Pilar Black man, to Jewish friend: You’re not Jewish. You had bacon at your baby’s naming ceremony. Thickest, juiciest most delicious bacon I ever ate in my life. You named your kid Samuel and you had bacon. Delicious, delicious bacon. –A Train Man on cell phone: The sausages! I mean, I don’t feel bad for the hot dogs. But, the sausages?! –41st and 7th Overheard by: Justin