Businesschick: Can we have a male do this job?
Businesswoman: Who are you going to find?
Businesschick: You throw another female in the mix, we’re going to go off the deep end.
–Midtown office
Archive for the ‘9 to 5-ers’ Category
Heard in New York
Our beloved editor will give a talk 8pm this Wednesday, 12/8, about working with Harvey Pekar on Our Movie Year. It’s in the basement of Lolita, corner of Broome and Allen on the LES. Our beloved publisher will be there as well; come by and say hi to the Overheard staff!
This Doesn’t Sound Right…
Businessman: Maria, Maria, Maria. I eat like 5 times a day.
Maria: So how do you stay looking so good?
Businessman: I’m a vegetarian, so I have to eat all the time.
–Midtown office
Depends on What Your Definition of “Invented” Is
Businesswoman: It was almost like something I invented, although the restaurant did have that dish. But other restaurants didn’t have it! –Midtown office
I’m Thankful for My Alcoholism
Businesschick: Are you still with that girl?
Businessguy: No. She kept trying to get me to go to AA. One night out with me and you’ll see..!
Businesschick: Oh, I’ve seen the aftermath. The stitches, the blood.
–Midtown Office
Something Bloody Something
Businessman: There was a flatbed truck on 5th Ave. There were all these musicians in it with their guitars, and everyone was chanting Bone-o!.
Woman: That’s U2.
Businessman: Oh, OK. I wanted to say, “Which one’s Bone-o?”
Woman: Which one’s Bozo, you should have said.
Businessman: The little guy; is he Spanish?
Woman: No.
Businessman: He said, “Buenos dias.” I wanted to know if that was him.
–Burger Heaven, 49th St.
Just Say Non!
Businesschick: You have to learn to say no to those aggressive French men!
Businessman: Do I really?
Businesschick: No, I’m just kidding.
–Midtown Office
The Etymology of the Absurd
Fax Guy: I never made that bet with you. We didn’t shake on it.
Fax Girl: You can’t do that. We had a bet. You believe this shit? He’s trying to renig on the bet.
Tech Guy: Um, isn’t the term renege? Like, short for renegotiate.
Tech Girl: Not with this nigger it’s not.
–Downtown Office
Be Paranoid; OverheardInNewYork is Listening…
Woman: So it’s top secret. I think I’m going to quit in January. –500 Madison Avenue
I’m Michael Malice, and I Overheard This Message
Strand Guy: Hey, John! How are you?
John: Seven days, man. Seven days.
Strand Guy: Hopefully the world will be safe for democracy.
John: I dunno. Halliburton has some no bid contracts.
Strand Guy: You believe that?!
John: Yeah.
–Strand Basement