Archive for the ‘9 to 5-ers’ Category

Something Bloody Something

Businessman: There was a flatbed truck on 5th Ave. There were all these musicians in it with their guitars, and everyone was chanting Bone-o!.
Woman: That’s U2.
Businessman: Oh, OK. I wanted to say, “Which one’s Bone-o?”
Woman: Which one’s Bozo, you should have said.
Businessman: The little guy; is he Spanish?
Woman: No.
Businessman: He said, “Buenos dias.” I wanted to know if that was him. –Burger Heaven, 49th St.

The Etymology of the Absurd

Fax Guy: I never made that bet with you. We didn’t shake on it.
Fax Girl: You can’t do that. We had a bet. You believe this shit? He’s trying to renig on the bet.
Tech Guy: Um, isn’t the term renege? Like, short for renegotiate.
Tech Girl: Not with this nigger it’s not. –Downtown Office

…And, Frankly, You're Lucky I'm Even Talking to You.

Man needing help: I need to get my passport renewed before I leave for a trip out of the country next week.
Lady at post office: We can expedite it, and you can have your new passport in two weeks.
Man needing help: But I'll be back from my trip to Mexico in less than two weeks.
Lady at post office: Well, we can expedite it and you'll get your passport back in two weeks.

–Post Office, Grand Central

Overheard by: Adam Lazarus