Woman: So it’s top secret. I think I’m going to quit in January. –500 Madison Avenue
Strand Guy: Hey, John! How are you?
John: Seven days, man. Seven days.
Strand Guy: Hopefully the world will be safe for democracy.
John: I dunno. Halliburton has some no bid contracts.
Strand Guy: You believe that?!
John: Yeah. –Strand Basement
We wanted to point out that we’ve now enabled comments on our entries. While it’s rude to speak in public about something someone else said, here we encourage it. –The OverheardInNewYork.com Staff, NYC
Guy, 40s: I don’t take medication. I don’t need it. I need drawing. I need peace and tranquility. I need coffee! –The Strand
Man needing help: I need to get my passport renewed before I leave for a trip out of the country next week.
Lady at post office: We can expedite it, and you can have your new passport in two weeks.
Man needing help: But I'll be back from my trip to Mexico in less than two weeks.
Lady at post office: Well, we can expedite it and you'll get your passport back in two weeks.
–Post Office, Grand Central
Overheard by: Adam Lazarus
Asian girl to friends: What I need is to find a banker.
(Asian banker walks by)
Asian girl: Hey, you. Are you a banker?
Asian banker: Why don't you wait 5 years, lose 10 pounds, and then give me a call?
Professor, seriously: Were you involved in the jelly bean incident?
–Physics Hallway, Trinity School
Overheard by: Siena
CSR: Stale peeps are excellent! Now, that is one finely-aged peep.
–Hudson & Houston
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Man to friends sitting on bench: You either look at the girl or you look at the ice cream!
–Outside Sundaes & Cones, 10th & 3rd
Overheard by: The Girl Anonymous
Cheerful gift shop clerk on phone: So I got my peanut buttercups and then Anne* saw me on the street and came up to me, and punched me in the face and was all "Give me a peanut buttercup!" and I said "but there are only two in the package and I was saving one for Robert*!" Then she punched me in the face again!
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Greek waitress: Ice cream without whipped cream is like… girl without boyfriend!
–Diner, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: Jon A.
Elegant woman in business suit: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I just wanted to let you all know that Jesus will be arriving soon.
Tired worker: Sure lady, one moment. Let me get out my datebook.
Overheard by: hunterboy
AIG employee: Hey, did you see they took down the AIG building sign?
Friend: Why, because people were throwing eggs at it?
AIG employee: No, they are considering a rebrand of the name. AIU: American International Underwriters.
Friend: They should rename it “IOU.”
Gay guy to friend on phone: Oh my god, she's not answering her phone? She's having sex. If she's not answering her phone, then she is definitely having sex. Hang up now, because she's having sex.
Overheard by: 1-900-Leave-A-Message
Flamboyant gay on cell: And oh. My. God. Let me just tell you about the cock. The fucking cock. It was eight inches of fucking perfection. I swear to god! It was beautiful. And I was always thinking like, "He's so perfect, there has to be something wrong with him. He must curve to the left or something." But no. I want to take pictures of it.
Overheard by: Julia
Hot gay guy: I went shopping, got a 90-minute massage and then started drinking. It's been, like, the best day ever.
–Barrage, 47th & 9th Ave
Overheard by: Fred Daubert
Flaming gay handler: I was going to wear my gold ankle booties, but I was afraid they'd clash with my Beagle's fur!
–Westminster Dog Show, Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: Amber
20-something gay office worker: He's buying me a wok! I think it's for real! (pause) I'll chicken-fry his rice.
–19th & Broadway
Overheard by: spf
Gay to faghag: So, you ready to go? We can talk about vagina at Lincoln center. (pauses, takes in her reaction) No? Too off-topic?
–Subway Restaurant, Columbus Circle
Overheard by: onelinerwonder