Girl: Salma Hayek is part Mexican and part Syrian.
Guy: She’s cesarean? Ain’t that a disease?
–7 Train
Overheard by: LugoLounge
Archive for the ‘A-List’ Category
Wednesday One-Liners Have at Least One Marketable Skill
Pragmatist: I figure if I don’t get a job in publishing, I’ll become a video vixen.
–Dunkin’ Donuts, Ditmars Blvd, Astoria
Overheard by: Christine
Skank: No way! I am not one of those girls. I am not a video girl…I am a dancer!
–34th & 8th
Overheard by: Skye
Ditz: Supposably [sic], she’s going to be dancing in some Beyonce video. She’s so stupid.
–54th St between 9th & 10th
Media scholar: Well it’s different when the girl getting fucked in the video is the same age as you. I mean, that’s great when you’re 15.
–20th & 8th
What's That About?
Passenger #1: What's that movie with Julia Roberts where she plays the runaway bride?
Passenger #2: My Best Friend's Wedding?
–Grand Central
Overheard by: EmLo
You're Not Exactly Sidney Poitier Yourself, Smart Guy.
Drunk girl on cell, passing Hugh Grant: Yeah, I know, right? Oh, wait, there's Hugh Grant.
(Hugh Grant turns around)
Drunk girl to Hugh Grant: Wow, you're a shitty actor!
Brad Garrett, pointing and laughing at Hugh Grant: Hahahahahaha!
–72nd St & Broadway
Overheard by: Sarah
Wednesday One-Liners May Give You Gas
Guy to girl: You're going to regret it for the rest of your life if you get the wrong salad.
–SoHo
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Slender waitress to two large customers: Make sure you finish *all* of that! Especially the celery. That's my favorite part! (they look in disgust)
–Applebee's, Astoria
Yoga clothes-clad girl, loudly to friend: It is not a vegetable. It's a legume!
–6th Ave & W 12th St
Man to woman: So I sayz, "Lady, you're my cuppa tea alright, but I like the occasional cucumber, if you know what I'm sayin'…"
–Herald Square
Overheard by: Mira
Gay guy: I saw people coming out of the woods and I was like, "Aghhh! Corn children!"
–8th & 45th
Overheard by: i'd be scared, too
Sarah Jessica Parker's son: Do you know what kind of lettuce she likes?
–Washington Square
Overheard by: Brooke
Letterman: “Hey, I'm Having a Better Season Than You.”
David Letterman recruiter: Late show with David Letterman! Free tickets to David Letterman!
New York Yankees pitcher Joba Chamberlain: Letterman sucks!
–Time Square
Thank God the Wednesday One-Liners’ Strike Is Over
Chick on cell: We can’t let Blair and Tootie control our lives!
–LIRR
Overheard by: Poogins
Homeless crazy black guy to three scared white girls in their twenties: Time is crazy. Oh man, what time is "Desperate Housewives" on?!
–10th Street & 3rd Ave
Large latino: Yo, it was so good last night, I mean I can’t believe you missed it. It was the best episode I’ve seen yet, seriously bro… Well the main thing that happened was Heidi tried to apologize to LC and she was all like: "I wanna forget you!" I was like: "Whaaaaaat? For real?" It was crazy, you gotta catch it!
–Times Square Office Building
Overheard by: SUSAN
Redhead: The "Brady Bunch" world is a world without urges.
–Veniero’s, 11th St between 1st & 2nd
Overheard by: Ursula & Winifred
Muscular guy: He comes up to me talking all this shit, saying that he’ll bring it. Bring what? He’s not gangsta like I am, he ain’t thug like me. Skinny motherfucka looks like a damn burnt-out Screech.
–On the Bus
Fulsome girl with bad dye job: I’m like: "I watch ‘Law and Order: SVU’, I’m not getting in your van."
–15th between 6th and 7th
Overheard by: Disunionsquare
Aries Spears, in line for an Ashlee Simpson autograph: I’m the black guy from MADtv! [Grabs a random girl's camera and snaps a picture of them together and walks away.]
–Virgin Mobile Mega Store, Times Square
Dude, She’s from Jersey — Don’t Fuck with Her
Drunk NYU kid #1: Hey, sweet dog.
Janeane Garofalo: Oh, thank you.
Drunk NYU kid #2: Bro, that was Janeane Garofalo.
Drunk NYU kid #1: Really? Hey, are you Janeane Garofalo?
Janeane Garofalo: Yes.
–8th & University
Overheard by: persiangroove
You Look a Lot Less Like You in Person
Man #1: What is going on here?
Man #2: They are filming the new Sex in the City movie with Sarah Jessica Parker. They have the entrance to the subway blocked off.
Man #1: Wonderful. I wouldn’t even know what Sarah Jessica Parker looks like.
Woman nearby: Hi. I’m Sarah Jessica Parker.
Man #1: Nice to meet you. Can I go home now?
Sarah Jessica Parker: Sure, go ahead.
–Outside 6 train entrance
Overheard by: Matt
Much Wiser Not to Argue It
Cashier: I’m sorry, but weren’t you in that movie? With Kevin Costner?
Joan Allen: Yes, The Upside of Anger. Thanks.
Cashier: I knew it was you! Last time you was in here I kept staring ’cause I knew it was you — remember, I was staring at you? You was so good in that!
Joan Allen: Oh, thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed it [pays and leaves].
Cashier to next lady in line: Yeah, last time she was in here I stared at her forever — she must have thought I was crazy.
Lady in line: What movie was she in?
Cashier: ‘The Other Side… of the Angel,’ with Kevin Costner! She was that lady!
Lady in line: I never saw that movie. I thought she was on Lost. I thought she was the lady on Lost — you know, the teacher.
Cashier: Nah, she was in that movie! ‘The Other Side of the Angel.’
Lady in line: The Upside of Anger?
Cashier: No! It’s called ‘The Other Side of the Angel,’ look it up!
Lady in line: Oh. Never seen it.
–Duane Reade, 94th & Broadway
Overheard by: Caro