Hispanic teen chick: Anyone ever tell you you look like Kevin Bacon?
Ethan Hawke: Yeah… Haha… Uhhh…
–Diner, Abingdon Square
Overheard by: Marco Formosa
Archive for the ‘A-List’ Category
Batman and Robin Was the Greater Tragedy
Blonde: I think I’m going to donate money to that thing George Clooney was talking about.
Friend: What?
Blonde: Darfur.
–Pratt Institute, Brooklyn
Overheard by: betty machete
If Dr. Phil Did 2000 Sit-Ups a Day
LL Cool J walks by gaggle of middle-aged black ladies, smiling as he passes.
Ladies: Oh my god, oh my god, that’s LL!
Black woman to white woman: You people don’t understand — that was like you white folks seeing Dr. Phil!
–LaGuardia
Overheard by: Swanny
There Is a Well-Documented Correlation Between Mixed Breeding and Split Ends
Drunk girl #1: He has such bad hair.
Drunk girl #2: No, you know who has bad hair? Derek Jeter.
Drunk girl #1: Yeah, but he can’t help it. He’s half black… what? He is.
–Queens
But Now That You Mention It…
Girl: I really wish we had stayed. I totally would have waited in the rain and gotten wet for Beyoncé.
Guy: I didn’t know you were into chicks.
Girl: Wet from the rain, you jackass.
–Times Square
When Publicists Get Into the Catnip
Mandy Moore: So, what’s the plan for the party?
Publicist: So, I was thinking, you show up at the party, right? And they check your name or whatever, and then, get this, a clown escorts you to your table.
Mandy Moore: A clown?
Publicist: I know, right?
–Elevator, The Archive Building, Greenwich & Christopher
Might Be the Only Exciting Thing About Jessica
Queer #1: Whatcha reading?
Queer #2: Jessica Simpson’s suing someone.
Queer #3: Let me see.
Queer #2 passes over a folder.
Queer #1: What? No pictures?
Queer #2: It’s a lawsuit; there are no pictures in a lawsuit.
–Hampton Jitney
Overheard by: Todd
Wednesday One-Liners Are Just Big-Boned
Chick: Then he peer-pressured me into being morbidly obese! –1 train Girl on cell: Nothing’s bigger than Oprah, not even my mother’s ass! –Ocean Pkwy and Neptune Ave, Brooklyn Overheard by: Ilysse Weisenfeld Dude with flyers: New York Sports Club! Only 37 dollars! Get yo’ fat ass to the gym! –Court & Joralemon, Brooklyn Overheard by: elwood Little boy: Mommy, I’m sick of all the fat girls in Coney Island. –Queens Center Mall Walking VD: It’s not cheating if she’s fat. –Outside Jugo Juice, Times Square Teen girl on cell: Ugh, great. Now she’s just going to make fun of me because I’m short and fat! Oh my God! –Q46 bus Overheard by: Melissa
Fresh New Face to Mean Girl: Two Years
Production assistant: Lindsay, we need you right away.
Lindsay Lohan: Oh my God! Don’t talk to me like I’m some kind of normal person!
–7th Ave & 9th St
Overheard by: Ethan
I Didn’t Know There Would Be a Quiz
Teen girl: Hey, I’m a Scientologist.
Tom Cruise: Oh, really? What echelon are you in?
Teen girl: [awkwardly quiet] Uh… number three?
Tom Cruise: Exactly.
–Mission: Impossible III gala premiere, TriBeCa Film Festival, BMCC
Overheard by: mademoiselle schaeffer