Archive for the ‘A-List’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Are Just Big-Boned

Chick: Then he peer-pressured me into being morbidly obese! –1 train Girl on cell: Nothing’s bigger than Oprah, not even my mother’s ass! –Ocean Pkwy and Neptune Ave, Brooklyn Overheard by: Ilysse Weisenfeld Dude with flyers: New York Sports Club! Only 37 dollars! Get yo’ fat ass to the gym! –Court & Joralemon, Brooklyn Overheard by: elwood Little boy: Mommy, I’m sick of all the fat girls in Coney Island. –Queens Center Mall Walking VD: It’s not cheating if she’s fat. –Outside Jugo Juice, Times Square Teen girl on cell: Ugh, great. Now she’s just going to make fun of me because I’m short and fat! Oh my God! –Q46 bus Overheard by: Melissa

Me Fail English?

Governor Pataki: Go out and study hard so you don’t get a bad exam on your grades. –Cantor Film Center, East 8th Street Overheard by: StyX Man #1: The Tet Offensive was just confusing.
Man #2: Not really. I understood it completely.
Man #1: Well, let me use an analogy: it would be like if tomorrow, we went into Baghdad and removed all the troops. Is that how it was?
Man #2: Maybe; I don’t know what analogy means. –Washington Place & 6th Overheard by: Gradie Smith

Looks Like the Bug-eyed Bronxite is Toast

Howard Dean: …I think Ferrer can win–
Man: Mr. Dean! I would have voted for you, man!
Howard Dean: …Thanks…
Man: I would have voted for you if you remove all the poison in your
body!…I would have voted for you if you loved America! You would have been a great president, but only if you weren’t so poisonous!
Howard Dean: …Thanks… –20th & Park Overheard by: Steve Gartland

Completely Unlike Lindsay

Chick #1: I saw Jared Leto and Lindsay Lohan making out on the street and now she has his band’s symbol or whatever tattooed on her foot. They’re so going out.
Chick #2: Don’t you read the tabloids? That’s old news.
Chick #1: The tabloids said they fucked. Just because they fucked does not mean they’re going out. Look at me; I’ve fucked the whole world and I’m not seeing anyone. This time they’re going out.
Chick #2: Yeah, you are a whore. –Urban Outfitters, 14th & 6th