Woman: Yeah…and I told my mother, “Sorry, but you can’t abort a 28-year-old fetus.” –1/9 Train Overheard by: Stephanie
Archive for the ‘Abortion’ Category
Teenage Girls: Unfiltered.
Guy: Don't smoke a cigarette. Seriously, put that out. You shouldn't be smoking! It says so right on the pack!
Drunk friend: Shut up! I want a cheaper abortion!
–Bleecker & McDougal
Wednesday RU-486-Liners
Guy on cell: That's the good thing about abortions–you can have like three a day.
–14th St & 6th Ave
Ghetto dude: I told her, I was like "if you get pregnant you best get an abortion, cause I ain't helping you with that shit." I mean, I would help her, but I gotta get that shit in her head.
–N Train
Overheard by: Jill
30-something woman to boyfriend: There be some muthafuckas up in here who think this shit some form of birth control. I'm woman enough; I gave birth to six kids. I ain't doin' it again.
–Abortion Clinic, Queens
Crazy guy on subway, preaching: You know why there's 100 million Mexicans in America? Abortion!
–W Train
Now Shut the Fuck Up!
Child screaming: Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!
Stranger to father: Kids, huh?
Father: He's lucky his mom's pro-life.
–Times Square
Raise Your Hand If This Makes You Sad
Girl, after boy flirtatiously bites her arm: Motherfucker!
Boy: I am.
Girl: What?
Boy: I fucked a mother.
Girl: You have?
Boy: Yeah, I fucked a girl who had an abortion.
–East Village
It's Wonderful How Awful People Find Each Other
Girl on date: My mother had an abortion when I was 11.
Boy on date: That must be because your parents realized they could never produce anything as beautiful as you again.
–Awash Ethiopian Restaurant, 106th St & Amsterdam
Would That Have Been Better? Discuss.
Girl #1: When is she having the baby?
Girl #2: Real soon… I wouldn't be surprised if she had it today!
Girl #3: I hope it's a boy.
Girl #2: No. If it is, she's giving it up for adoption. For real. I stood over her and saw her sign the papers. She should've just gotten an abortion.
–L Train
Overheard by: Jayboi
They Smell Like Victory Over Death
Girl #1: Did you know, for my abortion… Well, my first one, anyway… I went by myself to the clinic and took a cab home? If I ever get knocked up again, will you come to the hospital with me?
Girl #2, without a hint of irony: I love hospitals.
Girl #3, deadpan: It's true. She really does love hospitals.
–Lafayette & Spring
Overheard by: Rori
Control-Alt-Wednesday One-Liners
Lady with no teeth to bathroom attendant: I love your sparkly eyeshadow! The doctor who did my second abortion had the same eyeshadow!
–Public Restroom, Bryant Park
Overheard by: Slydell
Girl on cell: I would rather have diabetes than get an abortion.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Kári Emil
Asian hipster girl: Abortion, abortion, abortion, Aids!
–NYU Dorm
Overheard by: i'll take the next elevator
Teen on cell: I've never been a fan of abortion, but if we could just make this little mistake go away.
–Penn Station
Hipster girl to friends: I mean, I think it should be a choice. Like, I'm not pro-abortion. Actually, I am pro-abortion. I think we should all have been aborted. Our parents made the wrong choice.
–2 Train
Guy on cell: I've pooped in the bushes and an abortion clinic, but never on the floor.
–The Gate, Park Slope
Overheard by: Nathan
Wednesday One-Liners and the People Who Love Them
Marketing girl: Would you like to try a new perfume? It's for you and your pet!
–Bryant Park, Outside Fashion Week Tents
Overheard by: jycho
Girl: I told my mom that I would probably be alone for the rest of my life. Yesterday she sent me an e-mail with a link to petfinder.com.
–Student Center, Barnard
Overheard by: Kristine
Man trying to sell comedy club tickets: Cheaper than an abortion! More entertaining than the crucifixion! More fun than euthanizing your pets!
–50th Ave & Broadway
Overheard by: Colleen
Queer on cell: Well, women are just pets for straight men.
–E 10th St
Woman on cell: So are you going to tell your daughter that you ate her pet?
–20th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Jesse S G