Archive for the ‘Abortion’ Category

Control-Alt-Wednesday One-Liners

Lady with no teeth to bathroom attendant: I love your sparkly eyeshadow! The doctor who did my second abortion had the same eyeshadow! –Public Restroom, Bryant Park Overheard by: Slydell Girl on cell: I would rather have diabetes than get an abortion. –Columbia University Overheard by: Kári Emil Asian hipster girl: Abortion, abortion, abortion, Aids! –NYU Dorm Overheard by: i'll take the next elevator Teen on cell: I've never been a fan of abortion, but if we could just make this little mistake go away. –Penn Station Hipster girl to friends: I mean, I think it should be a choice. Like, I'm not pro-abortion. Actually, I am pro-abortion. I think we should all have been aborted. Our parents made the wrong choice. –2 Train Guy on cell: I've pooped in the bushes and an abortion clinic, but never on the floor. –The Gate, Park Slope Overheard by: Nathan

How You Know It's Time to Distract Your Child with Ice Cream

Small boy: So abortion isn't like killing, it's like stopping?
Small boy's mother: Yes, honey…it's all very complicated, but, some people think that a baby can't be killed when it's inside the womb because it's not really a baby yet.
Small boy: So, it's not a baby till it's out?
Small boy's mother: That's right.
Small boy: And then we can kill them? –M103 Bus Overheard by: Lilly

Son Of a Wednesday One-Liner Man

Evangelist outside gym: You want to be a macho man? Look at Jesus! –Broadway & Prince Street evangelist on microphone: Y'all ever see two female pigeons in bed together? –Fordham Plaza Very agitated priest: Jesus was a zygote once–what if Mary aborted him? –St. Luke's Church, Whitestone Crazy subway evangelist: If god could make me a good crackhead, you best believe he could make me a good preacher. –E Train Overheard by: Giggling at crack Preacher: And that's why your religion is null and void. –Union Square Overheard by: Alfie

Thank Goodness We Don't Actually Have to Know Anything About Their Bodies

Yuppie guy: God, I can't even finish this. I feel completely bloated, like some chick. Disgusting.
Hipster guy: You feel like a chick?
Yuppie guy: Yeah…you know, like all girls get once a month: Bitchy, bloated, and popping those pills.
Hipster guy: You mean, like, the abortion pill? –Pizza Shop, E 34th & 1st St