Guy: I like my dick with a little pussy on the side. –3rd & Bowery Possible paternity litigant: Paul Newman, another girl, and my mom were all having sex together right before I was born. –6th St & 1st Ave
Mother to five-year-old daughter: That's why she's a very smart woman. She married a very rich man for exactly that reason.
–University Place &10th St
Overheard by: evanescent
Homeless man to little boy with parents: Ask your mama why she marry your daddy. She'll tell you it was for the money.
–Statue of Liberty
Sorority girl to another: So like, do you think Brad makes good investments?
–53rd & 1st
Asian girl on cell: It's like I have a sign that says "trophy wife" written across my forehead, and then they find out I'm 22 and the sign is suddenly in neon.
Girl on cell: No, you remember, I'm going to be a gold-digger! It's like a hooker, but smarter.
College girl #1: I can't believe you don't know Allison, she's infamous!
College girl #2: Well, Jesse James is infamous but I don't know him either.
College girl #1: Jesse James is dead. Allison is the mega-slut on our floor!
Overheard by: even i know her
Actor #1: Shit! Shit! Fuck! Motherfucking son of a bitch!
Actor #2: He’s just mad because Britney shaved her head.
Overheard by: Cara
Random hipster: If David Bowie had wheels, how much would you pay to ride on him?
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: haxromana
Scrawny hipster dude to another: All I'm saying is: I want to be in a position where I'm not liking it, and I know he's not liking it either.
–Troutman & Evergreen
Overheard by: Kristen
Hipster: I was much more desperate in Chicago.
Hipster kid: I'm just afraid that my sweatshirt isn't edgy enough.
–SoundFix Records, Brooklyn
Overheard by: chelce
Teenager: He's having a hard time dealing with being a hipster.
Little boy: Dad, who’s Mahatma Gandhi?
Dad: You don’t know who Gandhi is?
Little boy: No. Was he a sports star?
Dad: Something like that…
Guy on Cell: Have you ever tried to masturbate while Michael Jackson’s “Rock With You” is playing in the background? Well, it’s more difficult than you think… –Port Authority Overheard by: Michael Roche
Man, about actress Kristin Chenoweth: You know, she’s only 4 foot 11.
Wife: So that’s why she’s so short!
Idiot #1: … And that’s why they call him Ted Kaczynski, because he bit her on the ass.
Idiot #2: Really?
Idiot #1: Yeah, they got the dental records and everything. He totally bit her on the ass, and there were bite marks. That’s why they call him Ted Kaczynski.
–61st & 10th
Kid to another: And then, when you're 45, we can be tour guides.
Overheard by: of bugle be uncouth
Tour guide: This tour will be in English, we have tour pamphlets in several other languages. If you are a non English speaking passenger, this announcement is of no use to you.
–Circle Line Harbor Lights Cruise
Overheard by: Trixie
Overexcited bespectacled tour guide leader to group of uninterested parents: So! That's the great thing, you know, about this school, is that it's not just you. It's the city, and the students, and the people, and the tourists, and… (starts to run out of things to say) the homeless people, and the squirrels… and pigeons! So, you see, it's not ever just you!
–Bobst Library, NYU
Tour guide on bus: Now over here we have Trump Towers. Donald is not in the building today, as he is out of country awaiting the birth of his next wife.