Archive for the ‘About Celebrities’ Category

“The guy who publishes Overheard? Really?”

Woman #1: Guess who I sat next to at dinner last night?
Woman #2: I have no clue. Jimmy Fallon?
Woman #1: No. Denzel Washington!
Woman #2: Omigod!
Woman #1: I know, I love him!
Woman #2: I loved him as God in Bruce Almighty. That was him, wasn’t it?
Woman #1: No, that was Morgan Freeman, you dumb fuck. –45th Street 7th & 8th

Wednesday Will Go Nazarene on Your One-Liners

Black woman: Sixteen dollars? That paper better be made out of Jesus's ass. –Barnes & Noble, Lincoln Center Overheard by: Emily B. 40-something to friends: And what's going on with the fucking baby Jesus over there? –Starbucks Guy on cell: In my class, we were talking about how Jesus was a Viking warrior. –Queens College Woman, about Matt Lauer and Katie Couric: See, this is why Jesus Christ and the Pharisees didn't get along. –22nd St & Park Ave Overheard by: Rachel Peters Woman on phone on the night before Easter: No, I do not want you at my house right now. (pause) I'm going home to watch The Ten Commandments and read my bible–Jesus is coming back tomorrow! –B44 Bus Overheard by: Micah Drunk high school girl: If Jesus had discovered a cure for dry mouth, he'd be a lot more popular! –Union Square Overheard by: Smudge

Wednesday One-Liners Will Swallow for Diamonds

Mother to five-year-old daughter: That's why she's a very smart woman. She married a very rich man for exactly that reason. –University Place &10th St Overheard by: evanescent Homeless man to little boy with parents: Ask your mama why she marry your daddy. She'll tell you it was for the money. –Statue of Liberty Sorority girl to another: So like, do you think Brad makes good investments? –53rd & 1st Asian girl on cell: It's like I have a sign that says "trophy wife" written across my forehead, and then they find out I'm 22 and the sign is suddenly in neon. –Tribeca Girl on cell: No, you remember, I'm going to be a gold-digger! It's like a hooker, but smarter. –NYU Classroom