Girl #1: I think my tampon is stuck in my v-j-j.
Girl #2: I that happened to me once.
Little boy, walking by: Mommy whats a “v-j-j?”
Mom: Your father will buy you one when you're 21.
Girl #1: Can you have a look for me?
Girl #2, looking: Damn, it looks like a mouse!
–47th St
Archive for the ‘Accidents’ Category
Can't Talk. Defecating.
Girl #1 in a rush, slamming door and almost hitting other girls: Oh my god, I'm so sorry!
Girl #2: It's okay…
Girl #3, sarcastically: Oh yeah, it's totally okay. Actually, why don't you open the door harder next time?
–Restroom, 54th St & Ave of the Americas
Overheard by: Ilikecandy
Way to Trivialize Our Noble Quest, Curtis
Extreme sports guy #1: I broke my leg last summer.
Extreme sports guy #2: Dude, I broke my leg once. I broke both bones in both wrists this one time.
Extreme sports guy #1: What, were you snowboarding or something?
Extreme sports guy #2: No, I fell off the monkey bars. I was in the third grade.
–L Train
Girl Talk Has Even Fewer Girls Than Barenaked Ladies
Middle aged guy: I keep getting injured at concerts.
Friend: You do?
Middle aged guy: Yeah, like, when I fell off the stage at Girl Talk… Well, more like I got pushed.
–E Houston & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: BenRC
Translation: Violent Offenders Get Me Hard
Older lady: I slit my brother's throat one time.
Guy: Uhhh…
Older lady: Well, I didn't mean to… It was kind of an accident.
Guy: These things happen…
–Bus Stop, Priest & Elliot
Overheard by: Trent
Look– Future-Me Says I Become a Top!
Gay guy: Oh, I just realized I took Tyler's phone this morning.
Straight guy: That's what happens when you and your boyfriend get identical phones.
Gay guy: Brilliant idea–I'm going to text him now, and his name will come up in the caller id. I'll pretend to be him from the future and start making dire predictions.
(his phone beeps) Dammit, he noticed. I just got a text from Van-from-the-future.
Straight guy: You guys are an oddly perfect couple.
–87th St & 3rd Ave
Girl Talk Has Even Fewer Girls Than Barenaked Ladies
Middle aged guy: I keep getting injured at concerts.
Friend: You do?
Middle aged guy: Yeah, like when I fell off the stage at Girl Talk… Well, more like I got pushed.
–E Houston & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: BenRC
A Collapse Of the Food Chain Means No More Grilled Meat, Jennifer
Woman #1: I'm, like, really starting to get concerned about this oil spill thing because of the effect on like the environment.
Woman#2: Why? Do you dive?
–Women's Bathroom, Churrascaria Tribeca
Overheard by: Valerie
…Who Knew There'd Be Cars There?
Girl: Dave, you got hit by a car, so I cannot trust you crossing the street.
Dave: I ran into the street.
–Graham & Jackson, Williamsburg
It's Hard to Save Face Once You Admit to Owning Decorative Pillows
Bro #1, concerned: What the hell happened to your face?
Bro #2, dazed: What? (pause) Oh. I fell asleep on a decorative pillow.
–Times Square