They wouldn’t want you either

Hipster: I wouldn’t smoke to go into that health food store – Bedford Ave, outside health food store

…And Wake Up in Strange Beds

Young Woman: I don’t think you should do as I do. I mean, I drink a lot. –Greenwich Village Overheard by: Tommy Raiko

Overheard Advice

Guy #1: So I’m not sure what to do.
Guy #2: If you want to know something from somebody, get them drunk. –8th Street N/R Station

Weightlifter Wisdom

Bodybuilder: Dude, I was ignoring all the RED FLAGS that were going up about my relationship! You GOTTA ask yourself whether you’re gonna let her do that to you! –71st & Broadway Overheard by: Todd Seavey

Maybe We’ll Type Hamlet

Yuppie: We shouldn’t be using our brains to simulate monkeys. –Broadway & 72nd

Our Literate Youth

NYU student: “I read the Sunday paper on Sunday–the whole thing–and it really wasn’t that bad! You should try it” Walking in Union Square

Mother of Wednesday One-liners

Mom: I don’t know. I think you have to be, like, 21 to go to outer space. –83rd & Amsterdam A six-year-old stops coughing and asks: Mommy, why did you cover my mouth? –Q Train

A Little Potty Humor–Literally

Mother: When you go into the stall do not sit down on that toilet seat!
Girl: OK, Mommy. Mother closes the door and goes into the next stall. Girl: Mommy?
Mother: Yes?
Girl: I’m sittin’ all over this toilet!
Mother: Girl, I told you not to sit on that toilet! –Wendy’s ladies room, W. 34th and 8th Ave

Yes, But Thoughts Are Usually A Penny

Street Vendor: Hey, hey, hey man, jewelry blow out special. Everything a dollar. Buy something nice for your wife for the holidays. One dollar!
Businessman: A dollar? I’m not gonna buy my wife jewelry for a dollar.
Street Vendor: It’s the thought that counts. –57th and 8th Overheard by: Josh Caldwell

Two Kinds of Dressing Down

Lowlife: I hate shopping.
Yuppie: You have to love it, because we really need to avoid this look. –W. 8th & Broadway Overheard by: Tibbie X