Guy: I was like, “Mom, listen…if a nuclear bomb goes off in New York City, then I’m going to worry about melting before radiation poisoning.” –53rd & 6th Overheard by: J-Mo
Businesschick: You have to learn to say no to those aggressive French men!
Businessman: Do I really?
Businesschick: No, I’m just kidding. –Midtown Office
50-something beefy man in wife beater on cell: Yo! I've got a bag of condoms and Jolly Ranchers!
–14th & 6th
Overheard by: Funky Monkey
Preppy girl to friend on phone: I mean… I've had to take Plan B twice this week already!
–2nd Ave & 9th
Drunken street vendor: Buy these Obama condoms! Flavored with hope, they'll get you through "hard" times!
Woman on cell: I got home to take a shower and he stuffs a bunch of condoms in his pocket right in front of me and then walks out the door. I mean what the hell is that?
Man to woman on escalator: Well, just next time, remember to use protection!
–Babies"R"Us, Union Square
Overheard by: miziz
Shish kebab vendor: Are you sure you want the really hot sauce…? And not the regular hot sauce?
Girl: Um, why?
Shish kebab vendor: Want me to describe it? It’s like if I tear out your asshole and tickle it.
–Main St, Flushing
Woman stuck in bathroom, kicking and banging: Help me! [Inaudible yelling in Spanish.]
Conductor: Miss, don’t push the door, slide the door!
Man: Some people just shouldn’t be allowed on the train.
Overheard by: Erin
Girl: When I found out he was all about sex, the crush was all over.
Dude: Oh, come on. I’m sure he’s more mature now.
Girl: Why are you trying to pawn me off on all these guys? I mean, come on, sex is not cool.
Dude: Why are we friends?
Jogging lady: Look, I know you don’t like porn. However– –Prospect Park
Puerto Rican thug #1: Man, you gotta wash yo’ hands before you touch yo’ dick, man. You don’t know what’s on ‘em. Don King said that.
Puerto Rican thug #2: True that. Yo… Don King said that?
Puerto Rican thug #1: Yeah, with the hair.
–Restroom, Sony Wonder Lab, Madison Ave
Overheard by: Dan
Girl on cell at register: It's like… If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it was meant to be. (pause) If it doesn't? Well then baby, fuck that nigga, cuz he was a douchebag anyway.
Girl: It sounds douchey. But not like "douchebag" douchey. Like "Summer's Eve" douchey.
Man to another, on Halloween: Oh, I get it. You're a douchebag.
Overheard by: T.J.
Hipster dude, sarcastically to others: I love douchebag bars.
–Outside Puck Fair
Overheard by: Is this the definition of irony?
Queer #1: It is so difficult for me to explain… like, it really hurts to be treated that way, and sometimes I just need to stop and focus on the pain and learn why it bothers me so much.
Queer #2: Why don’t you talk to your therapist about it?
Queer #1: She won’t let me talk about that stuff.
Overheard by: Brina Guild