Archive for the ‘Age/Aging’ Category

You Can’t Always Get What You Want

Woman in her 50s: “She used to drink on weekends, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. And then she got scared she was going to start drinking Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. So she went to AA and hasn’t touched a drop since, she’s a sponsor too. That was 15 years ago. Now she’s 33 and she went back to school. She just became a paralegal and makes $950 a month. She didn’t want to be one of those low people.” –W Train

They Grow Up So Fast

Asian Kid: The fucking Triads are on your tail, bitch. Run!
Hispanic Kid: Fuck that! The Latin Kings will pump lead into your asses.
Black Kid: Nah, the Bloods and Crips will beat you down.
Jewish Kid: Yo…Um…I’ll get my yarmulke peoples to smack you all, son. What now nigga spic chink bitch ho? Suck my matzoh balls, bitch! –Canal Street Overheard by: Jonathan Harris