…And She Votes

Teen with Bright Future: What’s that? Now that I’ve become pregnant people think that I don’t fight. Come here. I’ll kick your fucking ass, bitch. –14th Street

Visit Historic Gotham

New Yorker: There’s the Brooklyn Bridge over there. You can walk over it.
Tourist: Really?
New Yorker: Yep.
Tourist: And is this City Hall?
New Yorker: Yes. I don’t know this area very well…there’s Starbucks! –City Hall Park

Now Shut the Fuck Up, You Unwanted Accident

Little Girl: Mommy, why do people in New York always wear black?
Mommy: I don’t know. Maybe they just don’t like looking pretty.

–Upper East Side

Pushy & Pushier: A NYC Subway Romance

Woman: Excuse me. Excuse me!
Big guy: Sorry miss, the train’s crowded.
Woman: No, I don’t care! I do not need you on top of me.
Big Guy: …maybe you do. –A train

One Man’s Cult is Another Man’s, Um, Cult

Scientologist: Ma’am, are you interested in taking a free stress test?
Woman: Hell no. I don’t need no freako to tell me I’m stressed. I already know that. –Union Square station

Most New York Conversation Ever

Dude #1: I want a new printer but they’re too expensive.
Dude #2: Yeah, I know what you mean. I want to find a good cheap one.
Homeless busybody: Cheap?! That’s why you’re a fucking Jew!
Dude #2: Actually I’m not Jewish, but I’m glad you’re homeless! –W. 4th St.

NY: the Melting Pot

Russian Man: Don’t push.
Spanish Lady: This is the subway. What do you expect?
Russian Man: Well, you don’t have to push.
Spanish Lady: Welcome to New York City!
Russan Woman: Yeah, welcome to New York City.
Spanish Lady: You welcoming me? You’re the one with the accent! –L Train

Don’t Forget Their Fatty Salads!

New Yorker (to tourist): …And this is McDonald’s. They make hamburgers. –LES

No Worries– It Happens All the Time.

Man with joint: Hey lady, wanna get high?
Girl: What are you, a freak? Don't bother me, asshole.
Man: No, I'm a dope dealer.
Girl: Oh, sorry, I thought you wanted a date. I'll take two dimes.

–7th & Bleecker

We're New Yorkers, Dude.

Old white guy: Hey man, how are you?
Black delivery guy: Pretty good, man, can't complain…
Old white guy: Why not?

–Henry & Montague

Overheard by: Priya Ahuja