Archive for the ‘Ahhh! Real New Yorkers’ Category

NewsFlash: Man Asks Directions. Scientists Baffled.

Tourist: Excuse me, can you tell me how to get to 37th Street?
Hipster: Seriously?
Tourist: Well, I’m visiting…
Hipster: Look, man… You’re on 42nd Street now. Walk that way, and if the sign says 43rd Street, you’re going the wrong way. Turn around and go the other way. When the numbers go down, you’re going the right way.
Tourist: So, the streets are numerical.
Passerby #1: Jesus Christ!
Passerby #2: Oh, you people stop it! He didn’t know there would be math on his trip to the city.

–42nd & 8th

Wednesday One-liners Think They’re All That

Guy on cell: She goes to school in Pittsburgh. She’s second rate. We go to school in New York. We know who we are. –Astor Place Guy on cell: No, no. We only look down on people we’re helping. –Broadway & Fulton Wet dude: I should not have to walk in the rain! I am a very important person! –71st Rd & Queens Blvd, Forest Hills

Unwanted Foreigners

Cashier: Here’s your receipt. Have a nice day.
Customer: Thanks. Do you know how hard it is to get a taxi around here?
Cashier: Well, you are in Midtown Manhattan, so it’s pretty easy.
Customer: Thanks.
Cashier: Where are you from?
Customer: Staten Island.
Cashier, under breath: Figures…

–J. Crew, Rockefeller Center

Overheard by: Al