Irate professional woman on cell: I raced down to Penn Station to buy a ticket to New Jersey, and now you tell me you're going to Hooters? –Penn Station Overheard by: Erin and Willa Blonde hipster: I knew I needed to get out of there when I heard her saying, "we should go to that bar next because it's near the PATH!" –Rivington & Essex Train conductor: The next stop is Park Place. Transfer is available to the a, c, e and PATH to Newwwwwwwwwww Jersey. I also have wonderful news that I am dying to tell you today. All 2 and 3 trains are making local stops this weekend. There are no express trains because of service changes. –2 Train Girl, interrupting singing couple: Guys, we need to class it up, we are not in Jersey anymore! –5th Ave & 86th Overheard by: GerMan in NY Four-year-old boy: I don't wanna go to New Jersey! –New Jersey Transit Terminal, Penn Station Hipster: But you were in New Jersey when you got pregnant, it's okay. –1st & St. Mark's
Guy, singing: “I want to be a part of it/ New York/ New York…”
Passing woman: Where the fuck are you from? –38th & 7th Overheard by: Agrees with woman
Buddhist: Excuse me, sir, are you a New Yorker?
Obvious New Yorker: Go fuck yourself! –Union Square Overheard by: playtoe
Drunk B&T chick: Look, it’s Penn Station. We could go home right now!
Cranky stranger: That sounds like a good idea to me. –downtown A train Overheard by: Thinking the Same Thing
NJ driver: Hey! Red means Don’t Walk!
Girl: It’s blinking!
NJ driver: That’s the same thing!
Girl: No it’s not, dumbass! –74th & Broadway
Tour bus driver to pedestrian: Take the great New York tour!
Man: Why the fuck would I pay to see the rats and piss I can see for free? Fuck you! –Outside Plaza Hotel, Central Park South
New Yorker: There’s the Brooklyn Bridge over there. You can walk over it.
New Yorker: Yep.
Tourist: And is this City Hall?
New Yorker: Yes. I don’t know this area very well…there’s Starbucks! –City Hall Park
Girl: … so dogs were getting electrocuted and they kept telling people to put boots on their dogs–
Guy: What is with these New Yorkers and their dogs? If you want a creature that badly, have a child!
Girl: You are an idiot. –110th & Amsterdam
Woman: Where are you from?
Tourist: We’re from Texas! Why, could you hear our accents over there?
Woman: No, it’s because in New York we know that you can’t bring dogs into restaurants.
Tourist: You can’t?
Woman: No, you can’t. We work for the Department of Public Health. Consider this a warning.
Tourist: Oh. I thought it was ok because y’all are ok with Paris Hilton and all. –Red Lobster, Times Square Overheard by: Lynne & Craig
Tourist lady: Everyone has been so nice in New York; not what I expected.
Woman: We are nice, just self-absorbed. –Central Park Overheard by: Renaissance Chick Chick #1: Omigod, like, if I like your earrings, why should I tell someone else I like your earrings? I should just tell you.
Chick #2: Omigod, I’m just like that too. But really it’s because I love getting compliments.
Chick #1: Omigod! Me, too! It’s the only reason why I say nice things to other people. –33rd & 6th Overheard by: Mary Beth Hanlon Girl: Fuck nice! I am a born and bred New Yorker, I don’t care for nice. I dont’ want to be nice, I want to be right! Fuck nice! –O’Neil’s Irish Bar ladies’ room, 3rd Avenue Overheard by: Banana