Asian mother, walking past smoker: Get your cigarette away from my baby!
Smoker: Get your baby away from my cigarette!
Old woman: Yeah! Fuck you, lady!
–W 96th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Hobbes
Archive for the ‘Ahhh! Real New Yorkers’ Category
…Like a Gentleman
Man, from second floor window: Bye, babe, can't wait to see you again!
Woman, passing by: You wanna fuck me again, you better get me pizza next time!
–Bradhurst Ave & 150th St
Ever Wish You Could Vote Tourists Off the Island?
French tourist, after discussing America's faults in the world, to American man: Can you take a picture of us with the Statue of Liberty in the background?
American man: Ain't she a beautiful bitch?
French tourist: Why do you say “bitch”?
American man: Well, she's French. Welcome to America.
–Staten Island Ferry
Well This Is a Vegan Charity!
Sidewalk solicitor, eagerly carrying clipboard: Would you please help the…
Pitch target: No spam! (walks away briskly, not looking back)
–7th Ave
That's “None Of Your Fucking Business, Cunt” in New Yorker Speak
Guy #1, entering cafe, to tourist holding door: I'm not giving you a fucking tip!
Guy #2, quietly: You're welcome.
(woman comes in, guy #2 holds door again, woman nods politely)
Woman: You're not from round here, are you?
Guy #2, in British accent: Apparently.
–5th Ave
Overheard by: Calas
Careful– They Break Their Boy-Toys
20-something male tourist: What's the crowd like here?
20-something male New Yorker: Random cougars.
–Line at Club, Meatpacking District
Try Asking Gandalf and Frodo
Overweight middle aged Southern tourist pointing to approaching train: Where is this train going?
Semi-annoyed girl: Queens.
Tourist: Yeah, but where is that?
Quite-a-bit-annoyed girl: Queens.
Tourist: Yeah, but where is that?
Deflated girl: It's… Never mind.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Melanie C.
What's More New York Than That?
Raging hipster: Take back New York!
80-year-old woman: Oooh, shove it.
–Coney Island
Overheard by: sen
And an Angry Mob With Torches
Tourist: So where is Central Park?
Girl: Uhm, right there. (points)
Tourist: Ah! That would explain why that big space has no lights…
–Rockefeller Observation Deck
Overheard by: Bre
Try a Gay Bar, Honey
Scrawny tourist boy to two passing New York girls: Hey ladies! I'm single!
New York girl: And that's why.
–Times Square