Archive for the ‘Ahhh! Real New Yorkers’ Category

Unwanted Foreigners

Cashier: Here’s your receipt. Have a nice day.
Customer: Thanks. Do you know how hard it is to get a taxi around here?
Cashier: Well, you are in Midtown Manhattan, so it’s pretty easy.
Customer: Thanks.
Cashier: Where are you from?
Customer: Staten Island.
Cashier, under breath: Figures… –J. Crew, Rockefeller Center Overheard by: Al

A Lovin’ Spoonful of Wednesday One-Liners

Little boy: I love Manhattan! I love Tic-Tacs! –Brooklyn Heights Wife to husband: No wonder your eyebrows are making love! –47th & 5th Overheard by: anon Biotech to texting friend: Now we’ll see how much he cares about you. I love testing people! –23rd Ave, Astoria Overheard by: sara n. Gleeful hobo rubbing stubble beard: I love my beard! Mmmm, I love you. –93rd & Broadway Overheard by: punkee Queer on cell: I don’t want love handles on love day! –Lafayette & Astor Woman on cell: Happy Valentine’s Day… Do you still love me, or do you hate me now? –Hudson St Overheard by: lilli

Try Asking Gandalf and Frodo

Overweight middle aged Southern tourist pointing to approaching train: Where is this train going?
Semi-annoyed girl: Queens.
Tourist: Yeah, but where is that?
Quite-a-bit-annoyed girl: Queens.
Tourist: Yeah, but where is that?
Deflated girl: It's… Never mind. –1 Train Overheard by: Melanie C.

Wednesday One-Liners Learn About the Natives Using Participant Observation

Tour guide: If you’re going to be in New York for at least a year, I’d recommend going to an outer borough. –Bowling Green Woman, looking at dirty man talking on cell with shirt open: That, that right there, oh, yes, that is sooo New York. –Worth & Broadway Overheard by: Half Shirt Office worker: We’ve lived in New York too long. Instead of saying “ridiculously overpriced” we say “upscale.” –Office, Carnegie Hall Overheard by: inge Crazy man: The subways have names and letters and numbers. They are not colors. Don’t you dare call them by colors. They have names and letters and numbers. The 4 is not the green train; it is the IRT Lexington Avenue Express. The 6 is not the green train; it is the IRT Lexington Avenue Local. An idiot in Brooklyn asks for the orange train at King’s Highway. It is not the orange train. It is the F train. He should be deported to Mars for calling it the orange train! The trains have names and letters and numbers! And you never call 6th Avenue the Avenue of the Americas! –Uptown R train Lady, amongst a crowd of women, shoving and stripping to their underwear to try on designer clothes: Oh my God! I am so not New York enough for this! –Barney’s Warehouse Sale, 17th between 7th & 8th Overheard by: Dr. Mary Girl: Being a New Yorker is great. You get to give the finger to everybody and nobody seems to care. I love this city! –Times Square Overheard by: Jen Tourist: These people must love their sandwiches! There are so many Subways here! –Times Square