13-year-old brunette to tourists: Argh! Move!
13-year-old redhead: These people need to learn the ethics of jaywalking.
–Times Square
Overheard by: emma
Archive for the ‘Ahhh! Real New Yorkers’ Category
…But Only Because You Go Around Calling It “N.Y.”
Drunk tourist on fire escape, yelling at 2 am: I love NY! If I move up here can I live with you?
Neighbor, yelling back: No!
–3rd St, Havemeyer
Number Four: Mom Jeans?? Really?
Woman, staring at the train subway map: Excuse me, how do you get to the 1 train?
Large black guy: Number one, you get an education.
Woman: No no, how do you get to the 1 train?
Large black guy: Number one, you get an education. Number two, you look at the map. Number three, don't talk to strangers.
–Uptown NQRW
Overheard by: Knows which strangers not to talk to
I Have Made My Point, and You Have Made Yours.
Old time New Yorker to EMS workers and crowd: Sit down!
Suburban princess: God! Have some compassion! Can't you see she's sick?
Old time New Yorker: Fuck you!
–Subway Series 2007, Shea Stadium
Overheard by: Amazed Mets Fan
So Much for McDonald's and the Global Village
Soft spoken Greek man at McDonald's counter: Excuse me, do you have breakfast?
Large uninterested lady employee: Honey, we got all the breakfast you want. (points to pictures)
Soft spoken Greek man: Uhm… where is this breakfast?
Lady employee, getting mad: Right up here–anything you want!
Soft spoken man Greek man: So what kind of omelet are you serving today?
–La Guardia Airport
Overheard by: David
Why We're Still in Iraq
Confused tourist: Excuse me, I want to take the red line.
Confused New Yorker: You needed to get off at the last stop.
Confused tourist: No, I got on at last stop. Want to take the red train.
Confused New Yorker: Yes, you needed to get off at the last stop.
Confused tourist: But I'm not going to that stop.
Confused New Yorker: No, you aren't.
Confused tourist: How do I get on red line?
Confused New Yorker: Help me!
–L Train
Wheresday One-Liners
NYU guy to tourist friends: Well, here's Grand Central!
–Broadway & Waverly
Guy on Sidekick to another: I wasn't sure if he was talking about Buffalo or Baltimore! I mean, I don't even know where Buffalo is! Is it a state?
–1 Train
Overheard by: amalthya
Ditzy girl sobbing on cell: You don't understand! They told me I was supposed to go to Penn Station but I just don't know where that is!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: queenofscots
Guy on cell: I don't get it–why go all the way to Ireland if you're not going to go see Stonehenge?
–Costco, Brooklyn
Girlfriend to boyfriend: Is this Times Square?
–85th & 1st
Overheard by: Special K
I Smell a Potential Game Show!
Jersey tourist: It's so confusing that on the train first goes Newark Penn Station followed by New York Penn Station.
New Yorker: It's to weed out the weak.
–Mulberry Street
Do They Pay You to Do That?
Southern tourist woman to waitress: You don't take credit cards? Where are we?
Drunk New Yorker at other table: You're at JG Melon!
(table cheers)
–74th & 3rd
Where Do You Think I'm Going?
Taxi driver: Why'd you double park? I'm trying to get through here!
Guy: Why don't you go suck a dick?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Chica