Drunken passenger: Someone farted up in here. Shit smell like AIDS, man. –W Train
Brainiac: Maybe AIDS wouldn’t be such a problem in Africa if they’d stop buttfucking each other so much. –Midtown office
Gay dude to girl friend: Stupid-ass Aids-filled cancer patient.
Girl friend: That's why you're gonna die tomorrow.
Overheard by: Glory
Blonde: There were three of them; they were twins.
–Lunasa Bar, East Village
Guy on cell: You thought you had the right information, but you didn't have your dots crossed.
Overheard by: Brooklynluva
Latino girl in park: Don't read it, bitch, just put it on. It's good, it's sunblock. It protects you from the UVs and huh… The HIV positives, or whatever.
–125th St & Riverside
Overheard by: nearby park bather
Middle-aged guy: It took me forever to find this building; it was confusing because all the numbers were written with letters.
–One (oops, "1") E 53rd Street
Guy: Nathan's the only one that's never lied to me.
Ditzy girl: Oh, yeah? What about me? I've never lied to you!
Guy: You did lie to me. That one time you told me you had Aids/cancer. I looked that up. It doesn't exist!
–Bobst Library, NYU
Overheard by: Krys
Lady with no teeth to bathroom attendant: I love your sparkly eyeshadow! The doctor who did my second abortion had the same eyeshadow!
–Public Restroom, Bryant Park
Overheard by: Slydell
Girl on cell: I would rather have diabetes than get an abortion.
Overheard by: Kári Emil
Asian hipster girl: Abortion, abortion, abortion, Aids!
Overheard by: i'll take the next elevator
Teen on cell: I've never been a fan of abortion, but if we could just make this little mistake go away.
Hipster girl to friends: I mean, I think it should be a choice. Like, I'm not pro-abortion. Actually, I am pro-abortion. I think we should all have been aborted. Our parents made the wrong choice.
Guy on cell: I've pooped in the bushes and an abortion clinic, but never on the floor.
–The Gate, Park Slope
Overheard by: Nathan
Announcer: There is a downtown b as in "brothel" train approaching 81st Street. That's right. Brothel.
–81st St Station
Angry hobo, after receiving no money: Well, fine, screw you all! The reason you ain't giving me anything is cause no of y'all speak English. They should call this the "e" for "immigrant" train.
Overheard by: Matt
Dude outside bar at happy hour: He expects me to be a BFF. But I'm just a bf… No, I'm just an f.
–9th Ave & 56th St
Overheard by: K Melv
Businesswoman on cell: No… the letter s… "s" as in "shot."
–Madison Square Park
Crazy woman to herself: My mom always called me "a" because, when I was little, really little, like before I could talk, I would sing "a a a a a a" over and over. And that was the joke, that I knew the first letter of the alphabet. (shrugs)
Little kid, singing alphabet song: A – b – c – d – h – i – v!
Girl to a friend: I was piss drunk when I saw The Passion Of The Christ.
Skateboarding juvenile delinquent to crew: We are totally like the movie Kids, all that's left is for me to get Aids.
–Mott & Prince
Overheard by: Dirty needle or gay sex, your choice
Suit to another: The soundtrack to Big Top Pee-wee was amazing.
–St. Mark's Place
Seven-year-old Asian boy to mother, during the movie Up: He loved and he lost…
–Regal Union Square Theater
Crazy 30-something man: Excuse me! You probably think I'm looking for money. I'm not. But I'm looking for a companion! A girl, aged 18 to 25, and she must have a DVD player, so we can watch movies!
Overheard by: nella
Gay guy #1: Well, I was fed up with Maria. I told her that the conversation was over. I said, “girl, this is it. You better stop this or I will cut you.” Like “I know where you live, girl. You better watch your back.”
Annoying Latina, laughing: Well, you better be careful if you go and cut her. I think she might have Aids.
Gay guy #2: Say what?
Gay guy #1: Okay, what?
Annoying Latina: Yeah, well, it's okay cause not all Aids are bad.
Gay guy #1: Girl, what are you talking about? Aids is Aids!
Annoying Latina: Yeah, but there's those people that live with it. Its not that bad.
Gay guy #2: Okay, girl, then you go get Aids and tell me how that goes.
–13th St b/w University Ave & Broadway
Student: A lot more people would definitely vote if there was free pizza at polling places.
Overheard by: Suze
Hipster: Papa John's makes me want to have Aids.
Overheard by: Matthew K. Johnson
Drunk person: Hey! This isn't the original Ray's!
Overheard by: Darwin
Girl to friend: So you only need a slice of pizza to get you wet?
–Slaughtered Lamb Pub
Overheard by: sinko
Old dude carrying blue plastic bag to pigeon: Pizza! My darling! Pizza! My pizza!
–9th St & 1st Ave
Hobo to passers-by: You need a dog! Don't eat the pizza, you will get fat!
Overheard by: Lily