Archive for the ‘AIDS’ Category

Your Unfounded Allegations Redound to My Detriment

Black guy #1: Lady, don’t sit next to that man, he’s got aids, motherfucker.
Black guy #2: Who you talkin’ bout aids? I went to prison for ten years and I don’t have no aids. Peace, brother.
Black guy #1: I tell you he got aids, motherfucker!
Black guy #2: Peace, brother, peace.
Black guy #1: Aids, motherfucker!

–PATH Train

They Even Go to the Bathroom Crazy

Hobo: Don’t you be lookin’ at my dick, motherfucker!
Homed: What?
Hobo: You look at you own dick when you takin’ a piss!
Homed: I wasn’t looking–
Hobo: Mutherfuckin’ faggot. Probably same faggot pissin’ AIDS all over everybody. Oughta put a bullet up you ass… –Grand Central men’s room Overheard by: john chianese A hobo has peed on himself. Hobo: What the fuck? Can’t a brotha go to the bathroom without all you bitches starin’ like it’s something new? –Prospect Park

Wednesday One-Liners Play the Moronica

Blonde: There were three of them; they were twins.

–Lunasa Bar, East Village

Guy on cell: You thought you had the right information, but you didn't have your dots crossed.

–B46 Bus

Overheard by: Brooklynluva

Latino girl in park: Don't read it, bitch, just put it on. It's good, it's sunblock. It protects you from the UVs and huh… The HIV positives, or whatever.

–125th St & Riverside

Overheard by: nearby park bather

Middle-aged guy: It took me forever to find this building; it was confusing because all the numbers were written with letters.

–One (oops, "1") E 53rd Street

Control-Alt-Wednesday One-Liners

Lady with no teeth to bathroom attendant: I love your sparkly eyeshadow! The doctor who did my second abortion had the same eyeshadow!

–Public Restroom, Bryant Park

Overheard by: Slydell

Girl on cell: I would rather have diabetes than get an abortion.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Kári Emil

Asian hipster girl: Abortion, abortion, abortion, Aids!

–NYU Dorm

Overheard by: i'll take the next elevator

Teen on cell: I've never been a fan of abortion, but if we could just make this little mistake go away.

–Penn Station

Hipster girl to friends: I mean, I think it should be a choice. Like, I'm not pro-abortion. Actually, I am pro-abortion. I think we should all have been aborted. Our parents made the wrong choice.

–2 Train

Guy on cell: I've pooped in the bushes and an abortion clinic, but never on the floor.

–The Gate, Park Slope

Overheard by: Nathan