Archive for the ‘AIDS’ Category

Your Unfounded Allegations Redound to My Detriment

Black guy #1: Lady, don’t sit next to that man, he’s got aids, motherfucker.
Black guy #2: Who you talkin’ bout aids? I went to prison for ten years and I don’t have no aids. Peace, brother.
Black guy #1: I tell you he got aids, motherfucker!
Black guy #2: Peace, brother, peace.
Black guy #1: Aids, motherfucker! –PATH Train

Wednesday One-Liners Play the Moronica

Blonde: There were three of them; they were twins. –Lunasa Bar, East Village Guy on cell: You thought you had the right information, but you didn't have your dots crossed. –B46 Bus Overheard by: Brooklynluva Latino girl in park: Don't read it, bitch, just put it on. It's good, it's sunblock. It protects you from the UVs and huh… The HIV positives, or whatever. –125th St & Riverside Overheard by: nearby park bather Middle-aged guy: It took me forever to find this building; it was confusing because all the numbers were written with letters. –One (oops, "1") E 53rd Street

Control-Alt-Wednesday One-Liners

Lady with no teeth to bathroom attendant: I love your sparkly eyeshadow! The doctor who did my second abortion had the same eyeshadow! –Public Restroom, Bryant Park Overheard by: Slydell Girl on cell: I would rather have diabetes than get an abortion. –Columbia University Overheard by: Kári Emil Asian hipster girl: Abortion, abortion, abortion, Aids! –NYU Dorm Overheard by: i'll take the next elevator Teen on cell: I've never been a fan of abortion, but if we could just make this little mistake go away. –Penn Station Hipster girl to friends: I mean, I think it should be a choice. Like, I'm not pro-abortion. Actually, I am pro-abortion. I think we should all have been aborted. Our parents made the wrong choice. –2 Train Guy on cell: I've pooped in the bushes and an abortion clinic, but never on the floor. –The Gate, Park Slope Overheard by: Nathan

Wednesday One-Liners for T

Announcer: There is a downtown b as in "brothel" train approaching 81st Street. That's right. Brothel. –81st St Station Angry hobo, after receiving no money: Well, fine, screw you all! The reason you ain't giving me anything is cause no of y'all speak English. They should call this the "e" for "immigrant" train. –E Train Overheard by: Matt Dude outside bar at happy hour: He expects me to be a BFF. But I'm just a bf… No, I'm just an f. –9th Ave & 56th St Overheard by: K Melv Businesswoman on cell: No… the letter s… "s" as in "shot." –Madison Square Park Crazy woman to herself: My mom always called me "a" because, when I was little, really little, like before I could talk, I would sing "a a a a a a" over and over. And that was the joke, that I knew the first letter of the alphabet. (shrugs) –S79 Bus Little kid, singing alphabet song: A – b – c – d – h – i – v! –M102 Bus

Wednesday One-Liners Would Like to Thank the Academy

Girl to a friend: I was piss drunk when I saw The Passion Of The Christ. –Chelsea Skateboarding juvenile delinquent to crew: We are totally like the movie Kids, all that's left is for me to get Aids. –Mott & Prince Overheard by: Dirty needle or gay sex, your choice Suit to another: The soundtrack to Big Top Pee-wee was amazing. –St. Mark's Place Seven-year-old Asian boy to mother, during the movie Up: He loved and he lost… –Regal Union Square Theater Crazy 30-something man: Excuse me! You probably think I'm looking for money. I'm not. But I'm looking for a companion! A girl, aged 18 to 25, and she must have a DVD player, so we can watch movies! –1 Train Overheard by: nella