Teen girl #1: I hated those guys sitting behind us. I just wanted to bash their heads in!
Teen girl #2: What? The HIV people?
Teen girl #1: Wait…what?
–Paley's Museum of Radio and Television
Archive for the ‘AIDS’ Category
That Red Ribbon on Her Collar Is Just Style
Woman #1 (after long phone conversation): Oh, I love that woman.
Woman #2: So no Aids?
Woman #1 (after pause): No, of course my cat doesn't have Aids, how could she have Aids?
Woman #2: No, of course she's just a stressed out cat!
–Mamouns
Not Anymore, Right?
Male passenger: One of her daughters has head lice, so she didn't come in to work today.
Female companion (wincing): That's ridiculous! It's not like she has AIDS or something!
–LIRR
Overheard by: Les Izzmore
Because It's a Problem You Can't Fuck Your Way Out Of
Boss: Genocide is funny.
Intern: Genocide is not funny. Aids is funny.
–59th & Madison
At Least, That's How I Tell My Husband He Got Infected
Truck driver: Diabetes is a hard disease to live with.
Middle aged black lady: I'm telling you, it's awful! All people with diabetes have HIV.
–25th St b/w Madison & Lexington Ave
Overheard by: TeeHee
I Don't Know, I Still Can't Figured Out What Possessed Me to Cum in It
Girl #1: Did you get tested for AIDS?
Girl #2: Yes, but they haven't gotten back to me yet.
Girl #1: Dammit! Why did i drink from your water bottle?
–74th & Riverside
Overheard by: a fox
Wednesday One-Liners Put Their Jammies on
Intoxicated girl to another: So, I went into Sleepy's the other day… Apparently, you're not allowed to sleep in there.
–Belle Harbor, Queens
Overheard by: redxdress
Woman coming out of bathroom stall (yawning and stretching): Wow, I just had the most amazing nap!
–Madison Ave
Overheard by: I<3Auditors
Girl to friends: I slept over at Natalie's, and I was really drunk and had taken sleeping pills…
–Staten Island Ferry
Salesgirl to no one in particular: I had the best dream about Aids last night…
–Beacon's Closet, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Joe Roumeliotis
Man on phone: Man, sometimes when I be wakin' up, my body be like "Alright, let's do this!" Then a few minutes later it be like: "Naaaah, fuck it!"
–Union Square
Overheard by: Stepheb
Father to five-year-old son as man in gladiator costume walks by the day after Halloween: That man had a sleepover last night.
–23rd & 3rd
Overheard by: We were all thinking it
They Say the Neon Lights Aren't Too Bright on Broadway
Clueless girl: Wait, is Rent about AIDS?
Slightly less clueless girl: Yeah.
Clueless girl: Oh, shit! Now I get it!
–LIRR Train
Overheard by: c
Does It Burn When You Wednesday One-Liner?
Girl playing extreme edition of Would You Rather:Okay: would you rather Joe with a 75% chance of a non-treatable STD or Luke with a 12% chance of pregnancy?
–R Train
Asian girl during Rent intermission: Oh wait, so they all have AIDS? Is that why they're all taking pills all the time? I didn't understand that. But you can't die from AIDS, right? I mean, if you like lived in a bubble forever, you would never die from it, right?
–Nederlander Theater
Man, emphatically: Look, you don't even have to worry about HIV, just take 200 milligrams of Vitamin C.
–89th & Broadway
Hipster girl: Me and my STDs are like Angelina Jolie's kids… Gotta get one from every country!
–Broome St
Overheard by: Kate
Hipster to friend: Thank god AIDS wasn't in Africa yet when I was there, I wouldn't have fucked anybody.
–Classroom, NYU
Young woman on cell: Yeah, I know. (pause) So you don't mind if I have herpes, right?
–71st Rd & Queens Blvd, Forest Hills, Queens
Overheard by: Tara
If Ann Coulter Can Do It So Many Times, Why Not?
Guy #1:So what did he die of?
Guy #2: HIV–and complications to rattlesnake venom. I gotta write a book, right?
–Chelsea Cinemas, 23rd St
Overheard by: Doug Bost