Archive for the ‘AIDS’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Can Still Lead a Normal Life

Pissed off gay guy on phone: What should you have said? Oh, I don’t know, maybe "Hi, I’m Michael, I have syphilis!"

–13th & Broadway

Guy: That’d be a great gig, but I don’t know if you want to be the face of venereal disease.

–Cafe Esperanto

Woman coming off train: Get away from me! You got AIDS on yo’ dick!

–R Train

Overheard by: going to the clinic

Chick: As long as it’s not AIDS it’s okay. I’m vaccinated against everything except AIDS.

–Columbia University

20-something male talking to friend: You know the way I see it: AIDS will kill you, herpes is just an inconvenience…

–34th between 2nd and 3rd

Overheard by: LadyEDdy

Columbia student, on her public health exam: I just didn’t know where to put the gonorrhea! It had to go somewhere, I just couldn’t figure out where!


–School of Public Heatlh, Columbia University


Loud guy: So he gave her a venereal disease. That’s not a reason to marry her!

–Blue Hill Restaurant

Does It Wednesday One-Liner When You Pee?

Man on phone, while withdrawing cash at the ATM: Congrats, dude. It could still be chlamydia though!

–LES

Overheard by: Romano

Kid: I don’t like this place, it has aids.

–F Train

Overheard by: Richard J. Anderson

Man on cell: You can’t just sleep in somebody’s bed and not tell them you have scabies. That’s… irresponsible.


–Home Depot


Professional woman: So I think you have an STD and blah blah blah.

–Times Square

Customer: Can we get an extra plate? He’s sick and I have herpes.

–Freemans, Freeman’s Alley

Twentysomething businesswoman: I was like, ‘oh my god, don’t hook up with my mom’… she has crabs!

–13th & 2nd

Overheard by: Natalia

Your Unfounded Allegations Redound to My Detriment

Black guy #1: Lady, don’t sit next to that man, he’s got aids, motherfucker.
Black guy #2: Who you talkin’ bout aids? I went to prison for ten years and I don’t have no aids. Peace, brother.
Black guy #1: I tell you he got aids, motherfucker!
Black guy #2: Peace, brother, peace.
Black guy #1: Aids, motherfucker!

–PATH Train

I’m a New Yorker. Everything Is about Me.

Hot chick #1: So, I’m doing the AIDS walk this year with my sister…
Hot chick #2: Oh, cool! I’ll totally sponsor you!
Hot chick #1: Oh, no, that’s okay — you already bought a gift for my puppy shower.
Hot chick #2: It’s not about you, Samantha, it’s about AIDS!

–10th & Broadway

Overheard by: About me

Wednesday One-Liners Ask Their Doctors about Valtrex

White girl: I hear you, sister. Why can’t I have genital warts just like everybody else?!

–Mambi, 177th & Broadway

Lady suit: He’s like, ‘There’s a new chemically-resistant strain of gonorrhea going around…’ He said it’s beginning to seriously affect his choice of lifestyle.

–5h Ave

Chick on cell: Well, my mom has the clap and my dad has herpes, so I don’t know what that means for me.

–Graham & Conselyea, Brooklyn

Overheard by: imeyer

Lady on cell: I have had this cold for, like, two weeks now. I don’t know — maybe I have AIDS.

–28 bus, Flushing Main St

Woman on cell: It’s not AIDS. No, Mom, I don’t have gonorrhea, either. It’s just some STD — they just don’t know what yet.

–Bank of America, 86th & Lex

Overheard by: Visiting Bostonian

Office girl: … So I say to him, ‘I’m not the one who’s going around giving everyone herpes!’ And he said, ‘I don’t see how that affects either one of us!’ And at that point I snapped and just went off on him.

–47th & 3rd

Guy to girlfriend who stepped in huge, dirty puddle: Ewww, you just stepped in AIDS!

–W 4th St

Overheard by: Emily Leonard