Woman waiting on line in Newark airport: “Isn’t it amazing how, whenever you go to a foreign country, you can get such a feel for the country just from the airport? Take New York: you land here, you look out the windows, and the first thing you realize about New York is, ‘aren’t the vehicles here so big!’”
Woman: Where is Georgia anyway?
Her brother: It’s a state.
Woman: I know, but where is it?
Her brother: Down south somewhere. –Newark Airport Overheard by: Coffee
Girl to friend: Is there a way to block fat people on OkCupid?
–Bedford Ave & 8th
Girlfriend to boyfriend: Remember the other day when you told me I had a fat ass and I didn't curse you out? So now you gonna buy me something.
–Pizzeria, 77th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Eric
Older woman waiting for a seat: Oh good, the fat one got up. Shit, an even fatter sits down.
Overheard by: Henry Pena
Posh-looking Asian chick: But he consumed over 6,000 calories a day, so he deserved whatever he had coming.
Overheard by: Ladle
White hip-hopper on cell: Yeah, she's so big I thought there was two of her. Then I realized she was a dude!
–Broome & Forsyth
Overheard by: Terry
Guy on cell: I'm gonna come over and give you a big hug before doomsday.
–Outside NYU Dorm
Guy holding up drunk friend: I have to hug the fat kid?! Why don't you try hugging a fat kid?
–LIRR, Penn Station
Overheard by: Laura
Hobo to startled girl: If you give me a dollar I won't hug you.
Small boy, loudly, after some take-off turbulence: The plane is going down… Everybody hug!
–Runway Strip, JFK
Overheard by: PSUny
Stereotypical jock, loudly: Man, I cant wait till we're back on dry land!
Scottish flight attendant: I can end that wait if you don't lower your voice.
–Flight Departing JFK
Asian man: What seems to be the problem?
Security official: Other than the fact that your passport and your ticket have two completely different names on them, nothing.
Drunken skinny pretty girl: Why is she so mean? I mean I'm a skinny pretty girl. She should not be mean to me!
–Halloween Party, Tribeca
Drunken hobo to girl leaving Sephora: Let me tell ya how to look beautiful. Fill ya buckets with money. Bucketfulla money makes ya look beautiful.
Overheard by: Lillian
Voice on loudspeaker: Last call for pretty man. Last call to board for pretty man.
Overheard by: Jen
60-something woman to tenor, after La Traviata: Finally, an Alfredo who is good-looking!
–Stage Door, Metropolitan Opera
Hobo: I was voted best-looking bum by bum weekly 1996.
–45th & 3rd
Tall skinny white woman in the bathroom: Um, excuse me, this is the ladies room.
Shorter heavy-set black woman: What, are you kidding? I am a lady! (laughs)
Tall skinny white woman, blushing: Um…
Shorter heavy-set black woman: White people, ya either love 'em or hate 'em… Man, I am a woman.
–Jamaica Air Restroom, JFK
Little girl, in very loud voice: Mommy, how old are you?
Older woman: Twenty-two.
Little girl: No, you're not! You're like fifty something!
Baggage handler #1: The flight from Bombay is delayed.
Baggage handler #2: I'll have the Lysol ready to spray them down.
–JFK International Arrivals Terminal 3