Moneybags: I’m thinking about selling one of my sailboats. It got a leak in the dining room, so I figure why not? –Dock’s Oyster Bar, 40th & 3rd Overheard by: Greg Rutter Suit on cell: …yeah, I passed out with one shoe, but when I woke up they were both gone! –Washington Square Park Overheard by: ianr
Mom: I don’t know. I think you have to be, like, 21 to go to outer space. –83rd & Amsterdam A six-year-old stops coughing and asks: Mommy, why did you cover my mouth? –Q Train
Old Southern Man: …so I said, if yer stoopid, you shouldn’t try and show it; you should try and hide it. –Soho NYU Guy: I didn’t wear my moccasins today, Arthur, and I’m still freezing! –W. 13th St. Overheard by: Dan Winckler
Hottie: …and then I want to tell them: less gooch, more cooch. –DtUt, LES Overheard by: e. glass HS kid: My friend’s dad can blow smoke stars. –Columbus Circle
Businessguy: It’s a small world.
Businesschick: Especially in Astoria!
Businessguy: Ha, ha, ha!
Businesschick: Hee, hee. –Midtown office
Businesswoman: Tex-Mex is not Mexican food. It’s American. That’s why it’s called Tex-Mex. –Midtown Office Chick: …and the moral of the story is, don’t take off your pants in a stockroom because you’ll get dumped. –UWS Overheard by: e. glass
Girl getting out of the car: I wish I had a talent other than parallel parking… –Park Slope An old man, bent over and hobbling with his cane, says apropos of nothing: I’ve got to make a list. –7th Ave. Overheard by: Andrea Vaughn
Woman: I really hope that you start doing some shit that’s smart. –Broadway & Waverly Businessman: The CEO’s a good ol’ Italian goombah from Bayonne. –Midtown Office
Pragmatist: I figure if I don’t get a job in publishing, I’ll become a video vixen.
–Dunkin’ Donuts, Ditmars Blvd, Astoria
Overheard by: Christine
Skank: No way! I am not one of those girls. I am not a video girl…I am a dancer!
–34th & 8th
Overheard by: Skye
Ditz: Supposably [sic], she’s going to be dancing in some Beyonce video. She’s so stupid.
–54th St between 9th & 10th
Media scholar: Well it’s different when the girl getting fucked in the video is the same age as you. I mean, that’s great when you’re 15.
–20th & 8th
Young guy on cell: You're lucky I'm Colombian. If I was Ecuadorian, I'd be slapping you!
Overheard by: Jobee
Angry man walking alone, to himself: I could have married a Dominican, but no, I decided not to!
–Mercer & Broome
Teen girl to friend: Your new Mexican is super creepy.
–On Line for the Colbert Report, Hell's Kitchen
Guy on cell: No, no, man, she's Puerto Rican. I'm just sayin' she's Dominican 'cause it sounds hotter.
–105 St & Lexington
Thug holding box of maxi pads: Yo, that motherfucker is like the gay Mexican Marlon Brando. Classic…
Overheard by: Karen