Archive for the ‘Alphabet City’ Category

Dude, Kids Would Rather Have the Father Than the Money

40-something man to small toddler: I love you very much, sir.
Toddler: (inaudible gibberish)
40-something man: I will make you very rich, sir.
Toddler: (more inaudible gibberish)
40-something man: When I die you will be very wealthy, sir.
Toddler: (more inaudible gibberish)
40-something man: I will make you so much motherfucking money, sir. You will be so motherfucking rich, sir. –12th St & Ave B Overheard by: John

I Don't Care If She Has a Name. Now Make Me a Square Burger, Bitch

Dopey guy: She looks like that chick on the Wendy's commercials.
Less dopey guy: Um…you mean…Wendy? –Drop Off Service, 13th & Ave A Headline by: aileen Runners-Up:
· “…AKA Pippi Longstocking’s Doppelgänger” – Deanna
· “No, Carrot Top” – johnnyb
· “She Has a NAME?!?!” – sizzle
· “Until Pippi Longstocking Wins Her Lawsuit, Yes” – Cat
Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Wednesday Out-Liners

Cop to others, coming out of bodega: I was into fucking rainbows even before the gays. –Bedford & S 3rd Overheard by: Rocky Tall blue-collar guy to short blue-collar guy: So, how did your date with that guy go? Did you get any action? –Broadway Guy on cell: I still don't see how being a dude and preferring other dudes sexually makes me gay. –Q Train Hipster on cell: This isn't gay, it's revenge! –Ave C & 7th St Guy to friends, matter of factly: So apparently he went there for drugs and/or homosexual sex. –Rockefeller Center 30-something woman to another: Because she's gay, does that mean I need to pay for everything? –Central Park Overheard by: Tom Guest

The Black Flag is at Half-mast

Guy #1: You do such dumb shit.
Guy #2: I do not.
Guy #1: Well, what about that E-trades tattoo on your leg?
Guy #2: I’m hardcore! –1 train Chick: Sell-out by day…
Suit: Shut up, okay? Whatever pays the bills. –CBGBs, The Bowery Overheard by: Sarah Royal Drunk guy on cell: Dude, that’s crap, you gotta live hardcore! –Williamsburg Overheard by: Kate Elizabeth Teen girl: Man this sucks. Where are all the punks? –8th & Broadway Overheard by: Mary Chick: Darryl doesn’t even know what hardcore is, first off. He was all, “What, is that like some kind of porn?”. –2nd & A Overheard by: Kira Punk girl: Fight bureaucracy!
Suit: You’re not the boss of me. –Leonard between Broadway & Church Overheard by: Lakini Malich

International Wednesday One-Liners Of Mystery

Lady: So I do everything my friends do. She starting dating a Turkish guy, so so did I. –Hookah Bar, Ave B & 6th St Overheard by: HookahFanatic Teenage girl to another: His name was "ingles," but he didn't know a single word of ingles. That's ironical. –Bryant Park Overheard by: Karishma Gurtu Father to two young sons: There were 1.5 million Manhattan Indians, so only the Dutch could tell you what happened to them. –Outside the Federal Reserve 20-something girl to friend: I think I must be French. It takes me like, five hours to finish a sandwich. –Broadway & 39th St Woman: At least the earrings weren't as expensive as a Chinese daughter. –116th St & 8th Overheard by: Matt & Stacy