A cashier hands a girl her change. Girl: Excuse me, but can you give me another 20 dollar bill? This one looks counterfeit. The cashier takes the bill, examines it, and puts it back in the register. He gives her another bill. Girl: Thanks. I just didn’t want that one, you know? It didn’t have the stripe down it. It looked too new. It just didn’t look right. So don’t give it to me; just give it to the guy behind me or something. –Bagel Maven, 7th Avenue
HS Girl: That’s all she talks about. She watches Star Trek, she talks about Star Trek, she gets Star Trek tattoos all over her body.
HS Guy: At least my tattoo is cool. –4 Train Overheard by: Kaitlen
A pushy, obnoxious woman tries to cram her way onto the subway before the passengers exiting even get a chance to get out the door. She screams: If you would get out of the way and let me on first, then you can get off! –Penn Station
Latina mother to Asian man, quickly and in Spanish: I'm going to 82nd Street, do I have to get off to switch to a local train?
Asian man: What?
Latina mother, astonished and in perfect English: You don't speak Spanish?
Large man #1, watching women delivering flowers: (grumbles)
Large man #2: What? What do you want flowers for?
Large man #1: They might open up, you know, look pretty.
Large man #2: No! You don't get no flowers! You're a man!
–Community Center, East Village
Overheard by: Flower Power
Wannabe hipster: Do you guys like music?
Wannabe hipster: Then lemme give you a copy of my CD.
Overheard by: alerns
Girl on cell: You're like the male version of me! Of course I want to have sex with you!
–Washington Square Park
Girl: I don't give a shit about your personal life, will anyone in this bar have goddamn sex with me?!
–Naked Lunch, Tribeca
Guy on cell: So anyway, I told her I'd come and fuck her brains out. Wait a minute, I've got another call coming in… (answers) Hi, mom!
Gay queen, while female friends take photo of werewolf: It's worth having sex with just because of the foot…
–The Slaughtered Lamb Pub, West Village
Overheard by: Lost on Christmas Day
Girl on phone: I ain't denying you shit, motherfucker! You want to pound my ass? Come over and pound me! You want to fill my mouth with juice? Then fill me with juicy goodness! (pause) Okay, I'll see you later tonight, then.
–W 123rd & 8th Ave
Ferry queer on phone: Everyone looks like the sex they had last night.
Guy to friend: Remember that chick I told you about who told me that I could smell her cum?
–City Hall New York Sports Club
Latina girl on cell: Didn't Nick get you that phone? (pause) No, not really… (pause) Cause I'm spoiled. (pause) That's not true, I spoil you, boy… I got you that perfume. It smells real nice, actually not that nice. It smells like granny… It smells like abuelita!
Teeny Asian lady on cell, screaming at the top of her lungs: Sniff it! Sniff it! Sniff it! Sniff it! Sniff it! Sniff it!
Overheard by: Ladle
20-something hipster girl to friend, after running to catch the subway: I think this is the r… It smells like the r.
20-something girl to friend: You smell good, but I smell better.
Asian yuppie: Plus, I wanna know when I'm going to get my share of those statues!
Jewish hipster: Just because you look like the Qin emperor doesn't mean you deserve to get his stuff.
Asian yuppie: Well, if not me, then who?
Guy #1: I like her, but her personality is a bit blah…
Guy #2: She has a hot body, though.
Guy #1: Yeah, but you know who else has a hot body?
Guy #2: Me?