Black female customer: “Forget it, girl you must be suffering from NIGligence” - At Au Bon Pain on 37th & 5th, when she just missed the 4-6pm half price baked goods by one minute, and the black female who worked behind the register would not let her buy them for half price
Archive for the ‘Anger Management’ Category
Fun with the Gentler Sex
Chick: …and the next thing I knew, I kicked her ass three times. –Lolita Bar
Diner Fun
Drunk: Where’s my boy, man? –Odessa, Ave. A
Methinks the Lady Doth Protest Too Much
Puerto Rican Teenager #1 in Williamsburg: “Hey, calling someone else gay means that you’re gay!” Puerto Rican Teenager #2: “Are you calling me gay? ARE YOU CALLING ME GAY? I’m not gay! Bring any woman out here right now, and I will fuck her in front of you all, in front of the world. Anyone. Do it, right now! I will show the whole world that I am not gay! Do you hear me? Do you hear me? I AM NOT GAY!”
The Good Old Days of LSD and Assassinations
Ranting guy: You don’t remember the ’60s! You weren’t there! It was a blur! –E. 4th St. & Ave. B Overheard by: Chaoskitty
Homeless Monologues III
Where: 42nd at 5th Ave. Hobo (to himself): Oh, so is that it? Every time you want to make me feel small, you throw Tiger Woods in my face?
The NYC Subway Finishing School for Girls
Ghetto chick: She went by and shoved me and was like “Ex-cuse me!”, but not like “excuse me”, you know? So she had this long hair? Well, I grabbed her by the hair, flung her down the stairs, and started kicking her ass. I’ll fight anybody. –D train
Have It? I AM It!
Lady: Do you have Real Simple?
Magazine Seller: What?
Lady: Real Simple? Do you have Real Simple magazine?
Magazine Seller: What?
Lady: Real Simple! Do you have Real Simple?!
–Magazine Stand, Herald Square
Overheard by: Rehey
“I Said Coffee!”
Cashier #1: I felt so bad. She was trying to be so nice to her, but this woman was just horrible.
Cashier #2: What happened?
Cashier #1: She asked her if she wanted a vente mocha frappacino–she was even smiling and stuff when she asked–and then the woman got all mad and said, “Look it, I don’t speak Italian.”
–Starbucks, Astor Place
That’s “the Stupidest Thing”?!
Chick: The waiter said I couldn’t sit on his lap. Then he said not only couldn’t I sit on his lap, that the people next to us complained that I was sitting on his lap! That’s the stupidest thing I ever heard in my life, that you can’t sit on someone’s lap in a restaurant. And to blame the people next to us, who were lovely? –Our Place, 3rd Avenue